How do you know the difference if you are “Steering” your child to swim vs “Forcing” them to Swim? Daughter has been swimming since 3 and is now 9 (almost 10). She’s had some great moments like winning a Summer League All Star butterfly race when she was 8. But after that, we gave her the choice to do winter league and she didn’t want to (previously she said she had). She still had pretty good summer (before getting sick) and was still on B team for the relays, but it wasn’t the same at age 8. At the end of this summer, she admitted that she should have done some of the swim clinics before the start of the season.
But, now she goes back and forth. One time we will be swimming at the pool, and she asks if I think she’ll be in Lane 3 (fast lane). Then recently she said that she didn’t want to be competitive and only “liked” swimming.
In Jan – Feb 2018, I do have her signed up for some swim clinics. So 1x a week for 6 weeks. But, should we do more swimming after? A part of me thinks she needs some private lessons as her technique has eroded due to not being in classes/team. But, should I do that if it doesn’t matter to her?!? I mean she can swim.
I've seen her flip-flop about wanting to swim and not quite sure if she gets the effort. For example, she set a new PB in Fly this summer and was disappointed she didn’t get a ribbon – she was against 10 year olds that were fast. Well, geez, should have done the stroke clinics before the season like I said. I don’t think she’s fully grasped that the “separation is in the preparation” (to quote Russell Wilson).
I’m trying not to be a crazy parent. I want her to get the health benefit from swimming. She loves ballet and performing – I see her on the stage. But, she is going to need the exercise from swimming to keep in shape.
I feel like it was easier when she was younger and we would just take her to class 1x a week to learn to swim.
Any Advice? I’ve thought about asking her if she has goals for next summer. At times, I think we just sign her up for some lessons/stroke clinic (from March – May) where she should just swim 1 – 2 times per week (would that be “forcing”). Or do I wait and see how she responds to the Stroke Clinics, that I signed her up for in Jan- Feb?
Thoughts?
DanceDaddy
#tryingnottobecrazy
Hi DanceDaddy,
As I thought about my previous post, I missed what I was trying to pass on.
First, let me answer the question you asked in your opening thread. Yes, I think you are Pushing/forcing. I will say again - she is 9 yrs old. She has no idea what being passionate about something means. She just knows she likes something.
Think about this a different way. Do you expect her to pick an academic focus at 9? Do you expect her to select a career at 9? Have you asked her to figure out what she wants from Dance/Ballet? I hope you'll say "No" because these are exactly the same thing. Remember back to when you were 9. What you be thinking about this things you were doing?
There are many reasons the average 12 yr old is competitive with an 18 year old. Most of them have nothing to do with swimming year round vs not. The vast majority of swimmers do NOT need year round swimming to be good - even very good. They do NOT need doubles nor weekend practices. They need solid technical coaches - especially at your daughter's age - above anything else. I am glad to explain privately why this works and give many examples.
However, I suspect this is really a parenting situation. You could substitute another activity in place of "swimming" and have the same situation. Therefore, the answer to your question can probably be found in a forum that addresses the wants of the Parent vs the needs of the child.
Respectfully (and glad to communicate off-line),
Paul Windrath
Hi DanceDaddy,
As I thought about my previous post, I missed what I was trying to pass on.
First, let me answer the question you asked in your opening thread. Yes, I think you are Pushing/forcing. I will say again - she is 9 yrs old. She has no idea what being passionate about something means. She just knows she likes something.
Think about this a different way. Do you expect her to pick an academic focus at 9? Do you expect her to select a career at 9? Have you asked her to figure out what she wants from Dance/Ballet? I hope you'll say "No" because these are exactly the same thing. Remember back to when you were 9. What you be thinking about this things you were doing?
There are many reasons the average 12 yr old is competitive with an 18 year old. Most of them have nothing to do with swimming year round vs not. The vast majority of swimmers do NOT need year round swimming to be good - even very good. They do NOT need doubles nor weekend practices. They need solid technical coaches - especially at your daughter's age - above anything else. I am glad to explain privately why this works and give many examples.
However, I suspect this is really a parenting situation. You could substitute another activity in place of "swimming" and have the same situation. Therefore, the answer to your question can probably be found in a forum that addresses the wants of the Parent vs the needs of the child.
Respectfully (and glad to communicate off-line),
Paul Windrath
