I need some advice on how to handle a situation with my daughter. She is 12 years-old and swims year round competitively. She's very good but not elite, at least at this point. We had a situation today at a meet where she was in tears after a race. Her coach has become sort of fixated on one swimmer in their group's success (a swimmer who happens to be my daughter's closest friend). I'm sure most of you know the deal. I totally get it. The thing that bothers me about what my daughter told me, however, is that he gives this girl advice right before races but does not do the same for others. After the race he told my daughter to go cool down and then come to him to get after-race advice, but instead he went to have a 20 minute conversation with the girl's mom.
I understand that the more talented swimmers will get more attention, but I think coaches at this age should also be cognizant of giving all their swimmers some confidence and a sense that the coach takes interest in their success too. Am I off base with this? My son is a bottom tier swimmer whose coach gives him a few words of advice before races. Nobody is asking for undeserved praise or rewards, but a simple acknowledgement that the coach cares about your performance too would be nice.
Hi turaky,
This is unfortunately a very common problem. As a parent you need to kindly raise your concerns to the coach. It's possible that he/she isn't aware of how large the attention disparity has become. Coaches and swimmers journey through a season together, sometimes they both get lost in the process, but a coach who is dedicated to building a successful team will recognize their error and correct it. If the coach in question isn't the owner/head coach, the next step would be to voice your concern to the chief. We train our age group coaches to address groups of swimmers together when possible. Young coaches often try to do too much with each kid.
Good luck!
Hi turaky,
This is unfortunately a very common problem. As a parent you need to kindly raise your concerns to the coach. It's possible that he/she isn't aware of how large the attention disparity has become. Coaches and swimmers journey through a season together, sometimes they both get lost in the process, but a coach who is dedicated to building a successful team will recognize their error and correct it. If the coach in question isn't the owner/head coach, the next step would be to voice your concern to the chief. We train our age group coaches to address groups of swimmers together when possible. Young coaches often try to do too much with each kid.
Good luck!
