Age Group coaching question

I need some advice on how to handle a situation with my daughter. She is 12 years-old and swims year round competitively. She's very good but not elite, at least at this point. We had a situation today at a meet where she was in tears after a race. Her coach has become sort of fixated on one swimmer in their group's success (a swimmer who happens to be my daughter's closest friend). I'm sure most of you know the deal. I totally get it. The thing that bothers me about what my daughter told me, however, is that he gives this girl advice right before races but does not do the same for others. After the race he told my daughter to go cool down and then come to him to get after-race advice, but instead he went to have a 20 minute conversation with the girl's mom. I understand that the more talented swimmers will get more attention, but I think coaches at this age should also be cognizant of giving all their swimmers some confidence and a sense that the coach takes interest in their success too. Am I off base with this? My son is a bottom tier swimmer whose coach gives him a few words of advice before races. Nobody is asking for undeserved praise or rewards, but a simple acknowledgement that the coach cares about your performance too would be nice.
Parents
  • Wow, that stinks. The folks on this board are pretty great, and I'm sure they'll offer you advice, but I would think a quiet word with the coach, non-confrontational, to let him know that all the kids need attention might help. This guys sounds very unprofessional, and there's no way to fix something like that other than to encourage your daughter to hang in there, don't let the coach determine her performance, and just always give it her best without worrying about his opinion.
Reply
  • Wow, that stinks. The folks on this board are pretty great, and I'm sure they'll offer you advice, but I would think a quiet word with the coach, non-confrontational, to let him know that all the kids need attention might help. This guys sounds very unprofessional, and there's no way to fix something like that other than to encourage your daughter to hang in there, don't let the coach determine her performance, and just always give it her best without worrying about his opinion.
Children
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