How do you all feel about parents side coaching kids (10 to 18 years old)?
Is there any time in which you feel side coaching is justified?
I'd love to hear from those of you who are parents of swimmers and admit to have done this before. Where do you draw the line? Do you keep it hidden from your kids coach? Do you agree that most of the best youth swimmers have been side coached to some extent?
Interesting question.:cheerleader:
How about situations where coaches have an "investment" on the team such as coaching their own sons or daughters? I find that many of those particular kids spend quite a bit of time being taught "on the side" by the parent. I also find that most parents don't know squat about the technical side of swimming and will only do more harm than good but there are also those who have good insight to the sport and might be able to give their kid that "extra attention" that perhaps the coach can't give due to a large volume of kids. I dunno, I think it can go both ways but to assume that simply because you are labled a "swim parent" and you must not know anything about the sport or that you cannot offer anything positive to your kid is kind of premature. I've been to too many swim meets and know too many swimmers (and I'm talking AAA,AA here) who obviously have been side coached by someone other than the head coach. On the other hand I've also witnessed too many beserk parents who are watching at EVERY practice, sending their kids to meets that the team isn't even going to and making them practice more than they should or need. I Personally think parents can offer alot to a kid if they know what they are doing but most don't and they don't have a clue that they are harming their kids.
I'm a past and current (sorta) swimmer, I'm a swim parent and I'm a swim coach. I started coaching with the program where my daughter swims three years ago basically because I was riding the fine line of becoming one of 'those' parents, at least while on deck. The head coach took me aside and said 'you want to coach? Then let's give it a shot', I've been a developmental coach ever since.
The number one hardest thing, in my opinion, is to be an accomplished swimmer and to have your child(ren) also be swimmers. You WANT to help them but you absolutely must not. You HAVE to let them have this sport for themselves, if you don't then you risk spoiling it for them.
In my case as my daughter got a little older, we talked about the Coach/Parent dynamic and we promised each other to respect the role each of us has to play in the relationship. If I'm coaching her practice, I'm the coach, she's the swimmer but once practice is over, that relationship is done, we only talk about swimming (rarely) when she initiates the topic. Other than those times, it's a parent/child dynamic. We each slip up (her more than me lately as she tries to work both sides during practice) but we call each other on it and strive to maintain the boundaries.
Another point is that you as a parent are part of a TRIANGLE consisting of Parent (you), Swimmer (your child) and Coach. If you have concerns or questions, email the coach. If there is something you are seeing in your child's swimming, do NOT speak with the swimmer, speak with the coach away from the pool deck. That is what we encourage are parents to do and in a lot of cases has really helped to reduce the parental stress on the swimmer.
And we pay to have our child(ren) swim with these programs. We send our child(ren) there for a reason (sometimes just to get them out of the house ). If there is a perceived lack of instruction, then contact the head coach. And if someone thinks they have the skills, knowledge and ability to coach, try and find out if you can be a volunteer assistant coach just to see if it's something that you can do and enjoy.
Remember, the coach is the third most visible authority firgure in your child's life behind parents and teachers. My daughter spends about 10 hours/week with her swim coaches.
How about situations where coaches have an "investment" on the team such as coaching their own sons or daughters? I find that many of those particular kids spend quite a bit of time being taught "on the side" by the parent. I also find that most parents don't know squat about the technical side of swimming and will only do more harm than good but there are also those who have good insight to the sport and might be able to give their kid that "extra attention" that perhaps the coach can't give due to a large volume of kids. I dunno, I think it can go both ways but to assume that simply because you are labled a "swim parent" and you must not know anything about the sport or that you cannot offer anything positive to your kid is kind of premature. I've been to too many swim meets and know too many swimmers (and I'm talking AAA,AA here) who obviously have been side coached by someone other than the head coach. On the other hand I've also witnessed too many beserk parents who are watching at EVERY practice, sending their kids to meets that the team isn't even going to and making them practice more than they should or need. I Personally think parents can offer alot to a kid if they know what they are doing but most don't and they don't have a clue that they are harming their kids.
I'm a past and current (sorta) swimmer, I'm a swim parent and I'm a swim coach. I started coaching with the program where my daughter swims three years ago basically because I was riding the fine line of becoming one of 'those' parents, at least while on deck. The head coach took me aside and said 'you want to coach? Then let's give it a shot', I've been a developmental coach ever since.
The number one hardest thing, in my opinion, is to be an accomplished swimmer and to have your child(ren) also be swimmers. You WANT to help them but you absolutely must not. You HAVE to let them have this sport for themselves, if you don't then you risk spoiling it for them.
In my case as my daughter got a little older, we talked about the Coach/Parent dynamic and we promised each other to respect the role each of us has to play in the relationship. If I'm coaching her practice, I'm the coach, she's the swimmer but once practice is over, that relationship is done, we only talk about swimming (rarely) when she initiates the topic. Other than those times, it's a parent/child dynamic. We each slip up (her more than me lately as she tries to work both sides during practice) but we call each other on it and strive to maintain the boundaries.
Another point is that you as a parent are part of a TRIANGLE consisting of Parent (you), Swimmer (your child) and Coach. If you have concerns or questions, email the coach. If there is something you are seeing in your child's swimming, do NOT speak with the swimmer, speak with the coach away from the pool deck. That is what we encourage are parents to do and in a lot of cases has really helped to reduce the parental stress on the swimmer.
And we pay to have our child(ren) swim with these programs. We send our child(ren) there for a reason (sometimes just to get them out of the house ). If there is a perceived lack of instruction, then contact the head coach. And if someone thinks they have the skills, knowledge and ability to coach, try and find out if you can be a volunteer assistant coach just to see if it's something that you can do and enjoy.
Remember, the coach is the third most visible authority firgure in your child's life behind parents and teachers. My daughter spends about 10 hours/week with her swim coaches.
