This is a great topic of discussion for us.
When does working out and training for an event take too much time away from family?
Is it different if your spouse isn't a swimmer or athletic?
How does your spouse feel about how much you train each week?
What comprimises have you made?
2011 WSJ Article:
A Workout Ate My Marriage
Exercise Can Set Off Conflict About Family, Free Time; Errands vs. English Channel
What's funny is I trained with Jordan (featured in the article) on Thursday July 5th, 2007 at Asphalt Green in NYC, he gave me a ride back by my hotel which was pretty close to his office. Very nice guy.
Well, I'm definitely in the category of having a wife who is tolerant but feels worse about herself the more I commit to exercise. I can feel it, I can see it in her eyes. My wife has never been, nor do I think she will ever be into regular exercise. She enjoys yoga once or twice a week and might go on the treadmill once a week for 10 minutes. She is petite naturally and pretty (5'3 105) but not especially strong or toned. She tires easily with exercise, just doesn't seem to have the motivation (and she has regular checkups, no medical reasons for this). She's also a terrible sleeper. She is an educated stay at home mom. Anyone recognize this profile?
I am perfectly happy with her and love her as she is, yet the more in shape I get the less secure she becomes. I am not getting in shape for other women, but I am happy seeing myself fit and I'm really aiming to swim in a master's national meet some day. I exercise maybe 1.5-2 hours a day, usually early in the morning either before or as they are waking up, then go to work (often a 12 hour shift). I purposefully avoid talking about my workouts or my goals with her because she doesn't seem interested or happy when I bring the topic up. At times she has flat out said that the topic makes her feel worse about herself. If I try to encourage her to swim or get involved in something I worry it might come across as not being happy with her as she is.
I admit it would be nice if she shared this interest and we could swim together or talk about our workouts (like some of you). But you can't have everything.
Is there some exercise that she might like that you could do together? Maybe go for family walks on the weekends or evenings? (We always went for family walks when I was a kid. It set me up for a lifetime of good habits. Thanks, Mom and Dad). Maybe that would make her feel better about herself and your workouts? Just a thought.
Well, I'm definitely in the category of having a wife who is tolerant but feels worse about herself the more I commit to exercise. I can feel it, I can see it in her eyes. My wife has never been, nor do I think she will ever be into regular exercise. She enjoys yoga once or twice a week and might go on the treadmill once a week for 10 minutes. She is petite naturally and pretty (5'3 105) but not especially strong or toned. She tires easily with exercise, just doesn't seem to have the motivation (and she has regular checkups, no medical reasons for this). She's also a terrible sleeper. She is an educated stay at home mom. Anyone recognize this profile?
I am perfectly happy with her and love her as she is, yet the more in shape I get the less secure she becomes. I am not getting in shape for other women, but I am happy seeing myself fit and I'm really aiming to swim in a master's national meet some day. I exercise maybe 1.5-2 hours a day, usually early in the morning either before or as they are waking up, then go to work (often a 12 hour shift). I purposefully avoid talking about my workouts or my goals with her because she doesn't seem interested or happy when I bring the topic up. At times she has flat out said that the topic makes her feel worse about herself. If I try to encourage her to swim or get involved in something I worry it might come across as not being happy with her as she is.
I admit it would be nice if she shared this interest and we could swim together or talk about our workouts (like some of you). But you can't have everything.
Is there some exercise that she might like that you could do together? Maybe go for family walks on the weekends or evenings? (We always went for family walks when I was a kid. It set me up for a lifetime of good habits. Thanks, Mom and Dad). Maybe that would make her feel better about herself and your workouts? Just a thought.
