New swim Dad

Hello, first time poster and fairly new to swimming stuff. Some background, my daughter is 9 and loves swimming has always loved swimming. Last year she begged for us to let her join a swimming team so we put her on the YMCA rec team. When she started she was decent at back and free but horrible with the other strokes. By the end of the first season (3 months) she had eally improved and become one of the strongest swimmers in her age group because she was one of the few kids working hard and not just being social. At the championship meet she got whooped by some girls who were on a competitve team that swam in the rec championship. She was devestaded and asked her coach how could she get as good as the other girls and her coach told her she couldnt that those girls swam twice a day. So who gets conned into wakng up and taking her to swim in the mornings, of course dad! Well its a full year later and my daughter has sinced moved to a USA team because her rec coach said she needed to move up. My daughter is a driven nut when it comes to this swimming stuff and one of my many questions is it normal for a 9 year old to be addicted to this stuff!! Dont get me wrong I love it, I'm really proud but I do find myself becoming more involved because we as a family are putting in a lot of effort for her to continue swimming competively(team is 45 minutes away compared to 10 minutes with the Y) and we have two other kids. Also my daughter is a shrimp most of the 7 and 8 year olds are as big if not bigger than my 9 year old. Well my daughter started going to the USA meets which do the age groups in two year incriments so 9 and 10 and my daughter was a middle of the pack swimmer which doesn't bother anyone but my daughter (she hates losing!!) At the first meet she swam a 200 free and won her heat, the second of three heats, and beat a really strong 50 yard swimmer. After the race the coach told her she must be a long distance swimmer, man when kids have seeds planted. Well from that experience she has set a goal of swimming the mile at her February meet. Whats that meant for us, staying after practice and letting her swim swim and swim some more. Shes been competing in races like the 500 free the 1000 free and the 400 IM. I guess my question is this bad for her all this swimming? Also all the races she is competing in are open events with mostly 13 and up ages, so if she looked like a shrimp before she now is a certified little person. Her coach says there is no such thing as to much swimming if its initiated by the child. I want to support her but I can see myself and wife becoming more involved just because of the commitment we are putting in and we don't want to be like a few of the parents who make there kids swim til the cry. We'd never do that but am worried about becoming involved because she constantly asks us to critique her. I try to listen to what the coaches tell her in practice so I can reienforce it but I feel like an idiot because the other dad who stays after with his kid actually makes her work out until she cries! Sometimes I want to trade with him and let him have mine and I'll take his out for ice cream. I never knew swimming was so intense. Ok give me some of that swimming knowledge I don't want people to think I'm Mr. Crazy dad but I want to help my daughter as long as she keeps soliciting my help. Should I say anything to Mr. Crazy dad or should I leave it only, he keeps compairing our kids and it makes me uncomfortable and I feel so bad for his daughter. And lastley is my kid swimming to much she swims a 400 IM before practice then 2400-3000 during practice and a 1000 free after practice M-T and Sat morning! Worlds longest post sorry needed some where to vent!! Thanks ATC