I'm sure you guys can help... I am a masters swimmer. Our son is 17, has been a club swimmer for four years, and swims on his high school team. He swims with the senior 1 group, and his practices are 2 hours 45 minutes on the weekdays and two hours on Saturdays. He is a decent, solid swimmer (state but not sectional cuts in numerous events). He is a junior in high school and is currently taking five AP courses (his decision, not my husband's and mine). His grades are good and he works hard.
Recently, he has been feeling a lot of stress due to his workload in school and swimming. He told me last night that swimming isn't fun any more. He says he thinks he still wants to swim club, possibly at the senior 2 level instead, and still wants to swim high school. He actually isn't sure he even wants to drop to a less demanding group; he isn't really sure what to do. While I think his academic load is part of why he is stressed, I know that constantly staring at a black line for hours is playing a large part as well. Aside from being supportive of him and encouraging him to talk to his coach (who is my coach as well, which could possibly complicate things), is there anything I can do to help? I don't want to be one of "those" parents, but I want to do what is best for my son. Obviously I would like him to stay in the senior 1 group, but I'm not the one swimming there. His coach knows him well, as he has been with this coach for four years. Part of the issue is that our son doesn't want to let his coach down. I know it is his call, and I'm trying to stay as objective as possible.
I'm sure many of you experienced swim burnout as a teenager. Any suggestions you can give are much appreciated.
Kristin
Kristin,
You know your son better than anyone here, so you will have to ultimately make a decision what to do. Here is my advice:
Tell him to quit the swim team right away. He may be waiting for this permission from you. Being supportive is not always letting the child make the decision. They are already overwhelmed by social demands and are unprepared to make well informed life decisions for themselves. It sounds as if he likes swimming but is stuck at one level of performance. Taking AP classes voluntarily means that he is performance oriented, and probably competitive with himself more than others. He doesn't mind pushing, but swimming is now getting in the way of academics.
Swimming is a lifetime sport, thanks to the existence of USMS and adult programs. If he burns out now, it may be decades before it is fun for him again, if ever. Do not consult your (his) coach, that will only make things worse, despite good intentions. If your son loves swimming, he will find a place for it in his life, it is not up to you to do so. Your role now is to enable him to make decisions he can live with.
Backing off presumes that it is only a phase he is going through. It is not wise to make presumptions for your children in this case. Make decisions or stand back, don't interfere. You are the parent, you can do that.
He may want to change his mind later, that is when you consult the coach or counselor(s).
I wish the very best of luck and future for you and your son. He can be proud to have a mother that cares enough to reach out for help.
Kristin,
You know your son better than anyone here, so you will have to ultimately make a decision what to do. Here is my advice:
Tell him to quit the swim team right away. He may be waiting for this permission from you. Being supportive is not always letting the child make the decision. They are already overwhelmed by social demands and are unprepared to make well informed life decisions for themselves. It sounds as if he likes swimming but is stuck at one level of performance. Taking AP classes voluntarily means that he is performance oriented, and probably competitive with himself more than others. He doesn't mind pushing, but swimming is now getting in the way of academics.
Swimming is a lifetime sport, thanks to the existence of USMS and adult programs. If he burns out now, it may be decades before it is fun for him again, if ever. Do not consult your (his) coach, that will only make things worse, despite good intentions. If your son loves swimming, he will find a place for it in his life, it is not up to you to do so. Your role now is to enable him to make decisions he can live with.
Backing off presumes that it is only a phase he is going through. It is not wise to make presumptions for your children in this case. Make decisions or stand back, don't interfere. You are the parent, you can do that.
He may want to change his mind later, that is when you consult the coach or counselor(s).
I wish the very best of luck and future for you and your son. He can be proud to have a mother that cares enough to reach out for help.
