As the oil slick from the Gulf spreads to Florida, and into the Gulf Stream, up the coast, to Ireland, the North Sea, and from there to all the waters of the earth, I predict that full body suits will make a comeback if for no other reason to protect open water swimmers from being grabbed by well-meaning ecologists and swabbed by Dawn dishwashing detergent.
Imagine the shock.
Well-meaning ecologist: "My, you're a big oily pelican! Who's a big pelican? Woozhy, woozhy...You are!" (Swabs more Dawn detergent on, works it into the nooks and cranny of revoltingly tar-balled pathetic creature.)
Tar-balled creature: "Moommph! Aaarrgh! Rrrarrgh!"
Well-meaning ecologist: "Aren't you a feisty one!"
Suddenly, some pinkish tissue emerges around the creature's bill. A mouth reveals itself and begins to flap furiously.
Tar-balled creature (in curiously strong Australian accent): "Unhand me, you pervert! I must finish the Manhattan Island Swim in regulation."
Well-meaning ecologist: "Damn! Another one! Why don't you nuts wear disposable body suits you can shed when we net you out of the water? You just cost the life of a half dozen real pelicans here."
And on this note, Happy Birthday Amanda, chicken (or it is pelican?) of the Aussie Sea!
As the oil slick from the Gulf spreads to Florida, and into the Gulf Stream, up the coast, to Ireland, the North Sea, and from there to all the waters of the earth, I predict that full body suits will make a comeback if for no other reason to protect open water swimmers from being grabbed by well-meaning ecologists and swabbed by Dawn dishwashing detergent.
Imagine the shock.
Well-meaning ecologist: "My, you're a big oily pelican! Who's a big pelican? Woozhy, woozhy...You are!" (Swabs more Dawn detergent on, works it into the nooks and cranny of revoltingly tar-balled pathetic creature.)
Tar-balled creature: "Moommph! Aaarrgh! Rrrarrgh!"
Well-meaning ecologist: "Aren't you a feisty one!"
Suddenly, some pinkish tissue emerges around the creature's bill. A mouth reveals itself and begins to flap furiously.
Tar-balled creature (in curiously strong Australian accent): "Unhand me, you pervert! I must finish the Manhattan Island Swim in regulation."
Well-meaning ecologist: "Damn! Another one! Why don't you nuts wear disposable body suits you can shed when we net you out of the water? You just cost the life of a half dozen real pelicans here."
And on this note, Happy Birthday Amanda, chicken (or it is pelican?) of the Aussie Sea!
