NCAA Times Post Tech Suit Ban?

At last, the true reason for this thread emerges! Chris, I am amazed that you are a college professor and so evidently lacking in a background in the Classics. Plus, you swam for the Greek Olympic team! For this alone, you should be up on your archetypal myths. And of these myths, none is more powerful than the myth of Oedipus Jim, who was conceived 9 years before his mother was born, implanted into her womb by genetic engineers when she reached the age of 14, giving birth to Oedipus Jim, who was 21 or 22 at the time, weighed 164 lb., and had to be delivered, for obvious reasons, by Caesarian. (Another very, very famous Greek poet renowned for his salad making, Chris. You really need to learn this stuff.) The gods took Oedipus away from his mother, and sent her to a fat farm not because of weight so much as the exhausted elastic skin collagen of her abdominal regions. Anyhow, Oedipus Jim and his best friend Narcissus were looking in a pond, and Narcissus saw his own reflection and could just not look away and fell in and drowned. Oedipus Jim realized that there was nothing necessarily wrong with falling in love with yourself, as long as you were careful about it. Thus he took up swimming, determined to avoid the same fate for himself. When he met his mother much later, he didn't realize she was his mother. He thought she was just some hot chick. He invited her to race in swimming and barely beat her in freestyle, his best event. She had this elaborate suit on, so he wanted one, and for a while, the Gods allowed it. With the elaborate suit, he was able to beat the hot chick even worse! Then the God Capricius, seemingly out of the blue, decided to outlaw the suit for men, but not for women, and Leslie started beating Oedipus Jim easily and regularly. Finally, he couldn't stand it and ripped off Leslie's suit, exposing a still hideously stretched out abdomen from having a boychild years earlier that weighed 164 lb. at the time of his birth (and has subsequently ballooned up to 178.) Anyhow, this is when Oedipus Jim had an epinephrine and realized this was not some random fast hot chick after all, but his MOTHER! He instantly decapitated her with her monofin. Then he plucked his eyes out, hoping to block the sight of that exposed abdomen. The gods would not allow it. The same God who was responsible for restoring Prometheus's liver from its nightly disembowelment by harpies brought back Oedipus Jim's eyes in the form of fiber optic athroscopic cameras and turned coverted the rest of his body into a canula, which is now used worldwide by liposcuctionists to remove the abdominal fat from wealthy women everywhere. All Eternity poking and prodding in fat, unable to blink or turn away: the fate of Oedipus Jim, and all because of a swimming suit... This is what passes for a Happy Ending in Greek Classics. Chris, again, I am surprised you didn't know any of this, which is, in point of fact, the real reason for this thread.

At last, the true reason for this thread emerges! Chris, I am amazed that you are a college professor and so evidently lacking in a background in the Classics. Plus, you swam for the Greek Olympic team! For this alone, you should be up on your archetypal myths. And of these myths, none is more powerful than the myth of Oedipus Jim, who was conceived 9 years before his mother was born, implanted into her womb by genetic engineers when she reached the age of 14, giving birth to Oedipus Jim, who was 21 or 22 at the time, weighed 164 lb., and had to be delivered, for obvious reasons, by Caesarian. (Another very, very famous Greek poet renowned for his salad making, Chris. You really need to learn this stuff.) The gods took Oedipus away from his mother, and sent her to a fat farm not because of weight so much as the exhausted elastic skin collagen of her abdominal regions. Anyhow, Oedipus Jim and his best friend Narcissus were looking in a pond, and Narcissus saw his own reflection and could just not look away and fell in and drowned. Oedipus Jim realized that there was nothing necessarily wrong with falling in love with yourself, as long as you were careful about it. Thus he took up swimming, determined to avoid the same fate for himself. When he met his mother much later, he didn't realize she was his mother. He thought she was just some hot chick. He invited her to race in swimming and barely beat her in freestyle, his best event. She had this elaborate suit on, so he wanted one, and for a while, the Gods allowed it. With the elaborate suit, he was able to beat the hot chick even worse! Then the God Capricius, seemingly out of the blue, decided to outlaw the suit for men, but not for women, and Leslie started beating Oedipus Jim easily and regularly. Finally, he couldn't stand it and ripped off Leslie's suit, exposing a still hideously stretched out abdomen from having a boychild years earlier that weighed 164 lb. at the time of his birth (and has subsequently ballooned up to 178.) Anyhow, this is when Oedipus Jim had an epinephrine and realized this was not some random fast hot chick after all, but his MOTHER! He instantly decapitated her with her monofin. Then he plucked his eyes out, hoping to block the sight of that exposed abdomen. The gods would not allow it. The same God who was responsible for restoring Prometheus's liver from its nightly disembowelment by harpies brought back Oedipus Jim's eyes in the form of fiber optic athroscopic cameras and turned coverted the rest of his body into a canula, which is now used worldwide by liposcuctionists to remove the abdominal fat from wealthy women everywhere. All Eternity poking and prodding in fat, unable to blink or turn away: the fate of Oedipus Jim, and all because of a swimming suit... This is what passes for a Happy Ending in Greek Classics. Chris, again, I am surprised you didn't know any of this, which is, in point of fact, the real reason for this thread.