9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

I still don't think you get it but that's fine, she is your child and you are her parent. But I will point out that swimming (or any other athletic endeavor) should be the child's. Parents should be there to support the athlete in anyway outside of the coach-athlete relationship including being thier advocate if there are issues with the coach-athlete relationship. If you are your daughter's coach, I urge you to stop as you risk damaging your parental relationship as your daughter gets older. at 9, she still wants to please you and be around you so the coach-swimmer relationship can still work alongside the parent-child one. But as she approaches puberty there is a very strong chance that the lines will no longer be as clear and both will risk being damaged as she gets older. Your daughter might be one of the very few ones that can keep the two separated but, unless you are a world class coach with years and years of experience, why in the world would you even take that risk????? That Mark Schubert spoke to some of our team's parents a few weeks ago and mentioned that he never coached his own kids. There's a world class coach who chooses not to go there.

Girls (particularly teenagers) are very fickle creatures. I agree, I have three of them (teenage girls that is). Regardless the sport, activity or interest, I enjoy seeing kids taking part in activities that they enjoy and that make them happy.

As much as former swimmers enjoy seeing their own take interest in the sport...it can be quite a surprise after 4 or 5 years of competing when they say they'd rather join the volleyball team or play lacrosse. Sometimes it's best to sit tight and encourage their efforts, but from a comfortable distance. If they stick with swimming so be it. Girls (particularly teenagers) are very fickle creatures.

We are all very pleased with her improvements and it's nice to come back here after all this time and shove it in your face. (speaking only to those who thought I was destroying her life by interfering). Yeah, you aren't crazy at all, not in the least.

It's been a long time since I've bothered posting on this board and would like to update the situation. Actually I'm surprised this thread was unearthed again but oh well.. I took quite a bit of abuse from many here who considered me one of those "basket case" parents who's only goal was to destroy my childs dream by constantly "hovering" over her when it comes to her swimming, well..here is the update. I originally posted the following comment.. "Hey everyone, wasn't sure were to put this questions so I decided to place it here. I also wanted to get some opinions from knowlageable swimmers like yourselves so I hope you don't mind me asking this. Here's the story.. My daughter is 9 years old and has been competing for about 8 months but taking swimming lessons since the age of 3. She's extremely descent for her age (about 35 seconds 50 free, 43 seconds 50 fly, 45 seconds 50 back and 43 seconds 50 ***) just to give you an idea. I decided to pull her off the current team as I feel he was not improving enough as her coach did very little technique training and put her in private lessons with someone I think can really help her learn the little things to make her faster." My daughter is on a new team now and has been for awhile now, seems to enjoy it and the entire atmosphere. She continues to train with me and has been since my first post was made about this topic which would be about january of last year. She has now made so much progress in her strokes, achieved sectional times in all 4 strokes, made a number of championship meets and has won no worse than 3rd in most of her events. Her time improvements have progressed this way.. 50 Free from 35 to 30 50 Fly from 43 to 35 50 Back from 45 to 36 50 *** from 43 to 39 500 Free about 6:10 100 *** 1:27 100 IM 1:19 Mind you she is still only 10. Anyways, just wanted to update you and IMO if these are the results of "bad parenting" feel free to call me the worst parent in the world. We are all very pleased with her improvements and it's nice to come back here after all this time and shove it in your face. (speaking only to those who thought I was destroying her life by interfering). By the way, some very valid points made above and I agree with many of them.

By the way, some very valid points made above and I agree with many of them. Greg and That Guy- he doesn't REALLY think "these boards suck horribly" nor does he think the opinions are worth :2cents:. See quote above. Maybe these contradictions will come up in some good counseling. :banana:

Last summer, my 8 yr old daughter had just won the 25 free in a summer league meet. (She had been swimming 3 years at this point.) She's just out of the pool, still dripping and I'm compelled to "coach" her how to improve her start. This was a common occurance. In the middle of it, she stops me and asks me "why I had to keep giving her advice and not just be happy for her". I hope I never forget that moment. She would swear up and down to my face that she wanted to swim and I wanted so much to believe her. She quit swimming this fall because, as my wife told me she had confided in her that she was only doing it to make me happy and she was miserable. Now she plays soccer and I make sure before every season starts that she is asking me to sign her up, not the other way around. Recently, she's been asking me if I'll take her to the pool to workout with me. I don't take it too seriously but secretly, I hope it becomes a trend.

Mark- This is the first year my 11 yo son will not be doing summer rec swimming. He learned to swim at 5 and has done it every summer since. He was actually an A swimmer as a 6-UN but had an "unfortunate" experience, on the deck as a 7 yo, that left him not wanting to swim ever again. (Another swimmer punched him in the stomach right before he was going to swim- the shepherd had stepped away!) When he dove in he immediately swam back to the wall and started crying and holding his stomach, he couldn't "breathe". He was so upset. As a 9yo we changed teams and were able to coax him back. He agreed to practice but not race. He did that as a 9 yo and actually raced again as a 10 yo. This year he has stated to both my husband and I separately, and very succinctly, "I really don't want to swim." We listened him and he will not swim this summer. I too hope that one day he will get back into it. :bighug:

In the middle of it, she stops me and asks me "why I had to keep giving her advice and not just be happy for her". I hope I never forget that moment. *** Now she plays soccer and I make sure before every season starts that she is asking me to sign her up, not the other way around. Recently, she's been asking me if I'll take her to the pool to workout with me. I don't take it too seriously but secretly, I hope it becomes a trend. This is a great point. I had the same epiphany with my youngest daughter. I think as parents we want to help our kids succeed every way that we can. Sometimes the best way to help your kid is just to be a fan. I now provide advice only when specifically requested. My daughters also swam when they were young and then stopped. They went on to other sports and activities. Two of them picked it up again in high school – so don’t give up yet.

When I was about 7 or 8 years old, my father had me join an organization called National Turners. It was a gymnastics club. My father was a state champion gymnast on the parallel bars. We did mostly tumbling in the club and the older kids did p-bars, rings, side horse etc. I remember being OK at it, enjoyed it, but it was not a passion (I loved playing softball). Not sure how long I stayed at it, probably the one year. Dad never pushed me. When I got to HS as a freshman, I wanted to go out for the football team. My folks said "NO". I was disappointed (but am now sooooo glad they would not let me do that.) On the east coast swimming is a winter sport and so the winter of my freshman year I thought, hey, I can swim, so I went out for the swim team. I did pretty well. My father came to all of the meets, but never tried to coach me. As I made progress through my sophomore year, my father made a big decision. We moved to another town that had the best swim team in the state, and one of the best in the nation. It was a great move for me and I spent the next two years on an excellent swim team. Several of my teammates went to trials and one made the team in '68. I went to a Division III school and dad continued to come to almost all my meets. I decided not to swim my senior year, but instead I went out for the gymnastics team. I did parallel bars and floor exercise. I wasn't the best on the team, but I really enjoyed that year and that competition. My father came to all of the competitions. Although he never said so, I am pretty sure he was pleased that I competed in gymnastics. And I of course am pleased that I did so as well. The point here is that I am very glad that he supported without pushing me. I have been swimming masters for over 30 years and have had some success. It is a passion for me and I still love it everyday! Thanks DAD!!!