Here is a question for the lawyers out there.
Do FINA regulations supersede US federal anti-sex discrimination laws?
Granted, I am not sure I know what the latter are. However, if I were to show up at a USMS swimming meet, wearing a perfectly legal women's swimming suit, one of the zipper-free kneeskin type models that also covered my ample boobage, and the officials rightly disqualified me for wearing this get-up because it is against the FINA/USMS agreed upon New Order, could I then turn around and sue under some federal statute prohibiting discrimination because gender?
In my mind, the new FINA rules are going to end up making swimming even more of a dying sport for boys in the US than the unintended consequences of Title IX, etc. Girls, especially in the younger age groups, can often beat boys in swimming, and in fact our own Mr. Qbrain got a top 10 time in the men's 30-34 LCM 1500 this summer. His wife, if I am remembering correctly, beat his time but failed to make the top 10 in the women's category.
If anything, it is we men who are now at a disadvantage. I say make the dystaff gender wear thongs and let us wear body suits fashioned to look like very streamlined tuxedos.
Suits for women now remain pretty much unchanged by the new FINA ruling, with the exception, that is, of getting rid of zippers and getting rid of non textiles. But that means women can continue to swim in what are still arguably very fast suits--FS1's, for example, that are very close to the short john types that helped loads of people get their best times. Men are prohibited from wearing anything but jammers.
Chicks, in other words, get 2004 technology; guys are back to the 60s. Why not let us go back to the 20s instead, when Johnny Weismuller wore a full body suit, albeit of wool?
So, in the spirit of Larry David, who recently concluded an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm with the line, "I'm Larry David, and I am comfortable in women's underwear"--I propose that any men who want to join me in the latest civil rights battle of our time show up at nationals this summer in women's suits and accompanied by our class action lawyer, and join me in echoing in a collective voice that rings out in natatoriums all across the fruited plain:
"I am a male USMS swimmer, and I am comfortable wearing women's suits."
Provided I can find an esquire who will agree to take the case on a contingency basis, I say this to the USMS sexist powers that be:
See you in court! Suckers!
As I see the tide in my poll slipping once again away from the direction I had hoped, and at the slight risk of raising the ire of the administrators of this fine forum who seem to be somewhat churlish about self-aggrandizement, let me briefly note that today's just posted vlog provides yet another reason why today's shlubby male is competing at a distinct disadvantage to today's supergirl legions.
One has only to channel surf through the landscape of television sitcoms to know that Darwinian winners of the dystaff variety are routinely shackled to lazy, doltish, and surprisingly unathletic shlubs, from Homer Simpson and Kevin James, to George Lopez and Larry David.
Today's vlog, which features arguably the Queen herself of master's swimming grit and suit savvy, Leslie The Fortress Livingston, juxtaposed against myself, represents an amateur's humble contribution to the developing oevre of hot chick/fatted weakling mismatches. forums.usms.org/blog.php
Hey Jim, is Leslie really that hot looking in person, or did you use some sort of CGI app?
BTW if my wife sees this post, she will likely attack my car with a golf club (and then tell the authorities she was simply trying to extract me from the vehicle).
Wow! What a small world! You must come to the Auburn meet in mid-February in the next couple of years so that we can exchange Griffin stories. Did you know that they are hosting 2011 LC Nationals?
Don't know if you know Bob Bugg, but he still lives in Griffin. He is a USMS record holder in the 50-54 age-group. He trains with some team nearby. I think he swam for the Tallman Pools team as well. He might be able to steer you to a local masters coach.
Where are you training right now?
Bob Bugg... that name sure rings a bell. But he would have been about 10 years older than me, so back in age-group days that would have been a completely different world. I only remember a few of the older guys like Steve L. and Ronnie Sharp (a stocky redhead with a wicked butterfly).
Right now I'm training at my gym, since I already pay the fees there. I've re-arranged my work schedule so I do 2 split 4-hour shifts with a 2.5hr gap at mid-day, which is when I swim (or work out).
For the time being I'm just focused on getting conditioned for swimming. Once I feel like I've got my pool-muscles trained, I might look around for coaching possibilities. But it depends on cost, distance, and whether I can find an organization that seems to be in sync with my goals.
Sharpsburger - Nothing wrong with being a cracker, only an ignorant one. ;) You must be from Georgia. I'm probably related to you.
Hard to say where I'm "from" any more specifically than Florida and Georgia.
Born on the panhandle (before there was anything there), raised in a Georgia textile mill town, educated at Stetson, UF, and UGA, now living outside of a tiny town in N/Central GA. (If you've seen Zombieland, the rural scenes were filmed right down the road from my house, and the yellow Hummer scene in another small town nearby.)
All my family live in Florida, Georgia, Alabama, and N. Carolina.
When I was an age-group swimmer I swam for the team they put together for Steve Lundquist. Excellent coaches. That area used to be horse country, but now it's pretty much part of Atlanta.
Not that I mean to encourage Jim.
Rachael, for all my apparent magnificence to outsiders, the truth is, I require constant encouragement.
Please, never consider withholding whatever amount you can possibly provide.
We yankees aren't exactly champing at the bit to come across as southerners, you know! :)
Suit yourself, but you will get much faster service in the South if you do.;)
Seattle - the new Massachusetts.
Sorry, I guess I don't have your slang down yet. Are yankees only from the northeast? What are west coasters called? Fruitcakes?
