Here is a question for the lawyers out there.
Do FINA regulations supersede US federal anti-sex discrimination laws?
Granted, I am not sure I know what the latter are. However, if I were to show up at a USMS swimming meet, wearing a perfectly legal women's swimming suit, one of the zipper-free kneeskin type models that also covered my ample boobage, and the officials rightly disqualified me for wearing this get-up because it is against the FINA/USMS agreed upon New Order, could I then turn around and sue under some federal statute prohibiting discrimination because gender?
In my mind, the new FINA rules are going to end up making swimming even more of a dying sport for boys in the US than the unintended consequences of Title IX, etc. Girls, especially in the younger age groups, can often beat boys in swimming, and in fact our own Mr. Qbrain got a top 10 time in the men's 30-34 LCM 1500 this summer. His wife, if I am remembering correctly, beat his time but failed to make the top 10 in the women's category.
If anything, it is we men who are now at a disadvantage. I say make the dystaff gender wear thongs and let us wear body suits fashioned to look like very streamlined tuxedos.
Suits for women now remain pretty much unchanged by the new FINA ruling, with the exception, that is, of getting rid of zippers and getting rid of non textiles. But that means women can continue to swim in what are still arguably very fast suits--FS1's, for example, that are very close to the short john types that helped loads of people get their best times. Men are prohibited from wearing anything but jammers.
Chicks, in other words, get 2004 technology; guys are back to the 60s. Why not let us go back to the 20s instead, when Johnny Weismuller wore a full body suit, albeit of wool?
So, in the spirit of Larry David, who recently concluded an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm with the line, "I'm Larry David, and I am comfortable in women's underwear"--I propose that any men who want to join me in the latest civil rights battle of our time show up at nationals this summer in women's suits and accompanied by our class action lawyer, and join me in echoing in a collective voice that rings out in natatoriums all across the fruited plain:
"I am a male USMS swimmer, and I am comfortable wearing women's suits."
Provided I can find an esquire who will agree to take the case on a contingency basis, I say this to the USMS sexist powers that be:
See you in court! Suckers!
Parents
Former Member
Hey Sharpsburger
You are a boxer bigot.
I don’t understand what your problem is. Don’t we have enough prejudice and discrimination in society without creating more senseless taboos like men wearing short shorts or briefs?
I realize I'm going waaayyy out on a limb with this incendiary comment, but there have been many studies that indicate that men who are offended by gay men (and anything that they perceive as being purportedly gay) are in fact uncomfortable with their own sexuality and their dislike of men wearing short shorts is just a form of homophobia. If this is not the case, then just what exactly is the rational for this illusory taboo?
With regard to your comment about why any male over 14 would wear briefs, it’s because they feel the best in the water and I personally hate the “swimming in a washing machine” sensation from wearing boardies or anything else with more coverage. Furthermore, unless someone’s wearing goggles or a diving mask, ther’re not going to see anything below the water line anyway.
And if someone’s opposed to me wearing short shorts or swimming briefs and has the colossal gawl to make the comment “Hey dude put on some ******* clothes!”, my response will be to promptly tell him “Hey dude, catch a ******* express elevator to Hell!!!”. :censor: :censor: :censor:
D2
Oh, sorry, I didn't mean brief-style suits. I was referring only to undergarments. Brief-style suits don't bother me at all. They seem a little out-of-date nowadays, but nothing more than that.
And I find your comments regarding sexual preference rather puzzling. I've never associated a style of swim suit or underwear with sexual orientation. The notion seems rather bizarre.
Besides, you don't even know what my orientation is.
I freely admit that my objection to "tightie-whities" is irrational. Well, partly. To me, they're quite uncomfortable.
As for the short-shorts in the gym, again, that's got nothing to do with who anybody does or doesn't sleep with. Call me prudish or old-fashioned, but I don't care to see anybody's sweaty underdrawers in the gym. There are also women who come in with outfits that are unnecessarily revealing, and I don't like those, either. It's a matter of decorum in a public place.
Ditto for the young guys sporting t-shirts with the sleeves and sides ripped out so that there's a gaping hole between the neck and bottom hem. You just gotta kind of chuckle at the vanity of that.
And even though I might think "Put on some clothes", I'm not going to say anything unless someone's actually flashing people. Wearing short-shorts that show off your BVDs may be tacky (and I firmly consider it to be tacky) but I have no standing to tell someone else not to do it.
Hey Sharpsburger
You are a boxer bigot.
I don’t understand what your problem is. Don’t we have enough prejudice and discrimination in society without creating more senseless taboos like men wearing short shorts or briefs?
I realize I'm going waaayyy out on a limb with this incendiary comment, but there have been many studies that indicate that men who are offended by gay men (and anything that they perceive as being purportedly gay) are in fact uncomfortable with their own sexuality and their dislike of men wearing short shorts is just a form of homophobia. If this is not the case, then just what exactly is the rational for this illusory taboo?
With regard to your comment about why any male over 14 would wear briefs, it’s because they feel the best in the water and I personally hate the “swimming in a washing machine” sensation from wearing boardies or anything else with more coverage. Furthermore, unless someone’s wearing goggles or a diving mask, ther’re not going to see anything below the water line anyway.
And if someone’s opposed to me wearing short shorts or swimming briefs and has the colossal gawl to make the comment “Hey dude put on some ******* clothes!”, my response will be to promptly tell him “Hey dude, catch a ******* express elevator to Hell!!!”. :censor: :censor: :censor:
D2
Oh, sorry, I didn't mean brief-style suits. I was referring only to undergarments. Brief-style suits don't bother me at all. They seem a little out-of-date nowadays, but nothing more than that.
And I find your comments regarding sexual preference rather puzzling. I've never associated a style of swim suit or underwear with sexual orientation. The notion seems rather bizarre.
Besides, you don't even know what my orientation is.
I freely admit that my objection to "tightie-whities" is irrational. Well, partly. To me, they're quite uncomfortable.
As for the short-shorts in the gym, again, that's got nothing to do with who anybody does or doesn't sleep with. Call me prudish or old-fashioned, but I don't care to see anybody's sweaty underdrawers in the gym. There are also women who come in with outfits that are unnecessarily revealing, and I don't like those, either. It's a matter of decorum in a public place.
Ditto for the young guys sporting t-shirts with the sleeves and sides ripped out so that there's a gaping hole between the neck and bottom hem. You just gotta kind of chuckle at the vanity of that.
And even though I might think "Put on some clothes", I'm not going to say anything unless someone's actually flashing people. Wearing short-shorts that show off your BVDs may be tacky (and I firmly consider it to be tacky) but I have no standing to tell someone else not to do it.
