Here is a question for the lawyers out there.
Do FINA regulations supersede US federal anti-sex discrimination laws?
Granted, I am not sure I know what the latter are. However, if I were to show up at a USMS swimming meet, wearing a perfectly legal women's swimming suit, one of the zipper-free kneeskin type models that also covered my ample boobage, and the officials rightly disqualified me for wearing this get-up because it is against the FINA/USMS agreed upon New Order, could I then turn around and sue under some federal statute prohibiting discrimination because gender?
In my mind, the new FINA rules are going to end up making swimming even more of a dying sport for boys in the US than the unintended consequences of Title IX, etc. Girls, especially in the younger age groups, can often beat boys in swimming, and in fact our own Mr. Qbrain got a top 10 time in the men's 30-34 LCM 1500 this summer. His wife, if I am remembering correctly, beat his time but failed to make the top 10 in the women's category.
If anything, it is we men who are now at a disadvantage. I say make the dystaff gender wear thongs and let us wear body suits fashioned to look like very streamlined tuxedos.
Suits for women now remain pretty much unchanged by the new FINA ruling, with the exception, that is, of getting rid of zippers and getting rid of non textiles. But that means women can continue to swim in what are still arguably very fast suits--FS1's, for example, that are very close to the short john types that helped loads of people get their best times. Men are prohibited from wearing anything but jammers.
Chicks, in other words, get 2004 technology; guys are back to the 60s. Why not let us go back to the 20s instead, when Johnny Weismuller wore a full body suit, albeit of wool?
So, in the spirit of Larry David, who recently concluded an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm with the line, "I'm Larry David, and I am comfortable in women's underwear"--I propose that any men who want to join me in the latest civil rights battle of our time show up at nationals this summer in women's suits and accompanied by our class action lawyer, and join me in echoing in a collective voice that rings out in natatoriums all across the fruited plain:
"I am a male USMS swimmer, and I am comfortable wearing women's suits."
Provided I can find an esquire who will agree to take the case on a contingency basis, I say this to the USMS sexist powers that be:
See you in court! Suckers!
Parents
Former Member
Ok, I gotta say, there's this fellow who goes to my gym who comes in wearing those iddy-biddy little short shorts, and when he gets on the crunch machine, let me tell you, it clears the room.
No one wants to look at his junk, even if it's tucked into tightie whities.
I was having lunch in my favorite taqueria a few weeks ago when they had an ESPN classic basketball game on the tube, a college game from the '80s, and all I could think was, "Dudes, put on some ******* clothes!"
(Ymmv.)
Personally, I'm all for the trend away from briefs for men. Whenever I see a guy changing out and he's got the briefs on I wonder if I'm back in the middle school locker room.
Call me a boxer bigot, but I can't understand why any male over the age of 14 still wears briefs.
Hey Sharpsburger
You are a boxer bigot.
I don’t understand what your problem is. Don’t we have enough prejudice and discrimination in society without creating more senseless taboos like men wearing short shorts or briefs?
I realize I'm going waaayyy out on a limb with this incendiary comment, but there have been many studies that indicate that men who are offended by gay men (and anything that they perceive as being purportedly gay) are in fact uncomfortable with their own sexuality and their dislike of men wearing short shorts is just a form of homophobia. If this is not the case, then just what exactly is the rational for this illusory taboo?
With regard to your comment about why any male over 14 would wear briefs, it’s because they feel the best in the water and I personally hate the “swimming in a washing machine” sensation of wearing boardies or anything else with more coverage. Furthermore, unless someone’s wearing goggles or a diving mask, ther’re not going to see anything below the water line anyway.
And if someone’s opposed to me wearing short shorts or swimming briefs and has the colossal gawl to make the comment “Hey dude put on some ******* clothes!”, my response will be to promptly tell him “Hey dude, catch a ******* express elevator to Hell!!!”. :censor: :censor: :censor:
D2
Ok, I gotta say, there's this fellow who goes to my gym who comes in wearing those iddy-biddy little short shorts, and when he gets on the crunch machine, let me tell you, it clears the room.
No one wants to look at his junk, even if it's tucked into tightie whities.
I was having lunch in my favorite taqueria a few weeks ago when they had an ESPN classic basketball game on the tube, a college game from the '80s, and all I could think was, "Dudes, put on some ******* clothes!"
(Ymmv.)
Personally, I'm all for the trend away from briefs for men. Whenever I see a guy changing out and he's got the briefs on I wonder if I'm back in the middle school locker room.
Call me a boxer bigot, but I can't understand why any male over the age of 14 still wears briefs.
Hey Sharpsburger
You are a boxer bigot.
I don’t understand what your problem is. Don’t we have enough prejudice and discrimination in society without creating more senseless taboos like men wearing short shorts or briefs?
I realize I'm going waaayyy out on a limb with this incendiary comment, but there have been many studies that indicate that men who are offended by gay men (and anything that they perceive as being purportedly gay) are in fact uncomfortable with their own sexuality and their dislike of men wearing short shorts is just a form of homophobia. If this is not the case, then just what exactly is the rational for this illusory taboo?
With regard to your comment about why any male over 14 would wear briefs, it’s because they feel the best in the water and I personally hate the “swimming in a washing machine” sensation of wearing boardies or anything else with more coverage. Furthermore, unless someone’s wearing goggles or a diving mask, ther’re not going to see anything below the water line anyway.
And if someone’s opposed to me wearing short shorts or swimming briefs and has the colossal gawl to make the comment “Hey dude put on some ******* clothes!”, my response will be to promptly tell him “Hey dude, catch a ******* express elevator to Hell!!!”. :censor: :censor: :censor:
D2
