Here is a question for the lawyers out there.
Do FINA regulations supersede US federal anti-sex discrimination laws?
Granted, I am not sure I know what the latter are. However, if I were to show up at a USMS swimming meet, wearing a perfectly legal women's swimming suit, one of the zipper-free kneeskin type models that also covered my ample boobage, and the officials rightly disqualified me for wearing this get-up because it is against the FINA/USMS agreed upon New Order, could I then turn around and sue under some federal statute prohibiting discrimination because gender?
In my mind, the new FINA rules are going to end up making swimming even more of a dying sport for boys in the US than the unintended consequences of Title IX, etc. Girls, especially in the younger age groups, can often beat boys in swimming, and in fact our own Mr. Qbrain got a top 10 time in the men's 30-34 LCM 1500 this summer. His wife, if I am remembering correctly, beat his time but failed to make the top 10 in the women's category.
If anything, it is we men who are now at a disadvantage. I say make the dystaff gender wear thongs and let us wear body suits fashioned to look like very streamlined tuxedos.
Suits for women now remain pretty much unchanged by the new FINA ruling, with the exception, that is, of getting rid of zippers and getting rid of non textiles. But that means women can continue to swim in what are still arguably very fast suits--FS1's, for example, that are very close to the short john types that helped loads of people get their best times. Men are prohibited from wearing anything but jammers.
Chicks, in other words, get 2004 technology; guys are back to the 60s. Why not let us go back to the 20s instead, when Johnny Weismuller wore a full body suit, albeit of wool?
So, in the spirit of Larry David, who recently concluded an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm with the line, "I'm Larry David, and I am comfortable in women's underwear"--I propose that any men who want to join me in the latest civil rights battle of our time show up at nationals this summer in women's suits and accompanied by our class action lawyer, and join me in echoing in a collective voice that rings out in natatoriums all across the fruited plain:
"I am a male USMS swimmer, and I am comfortable wearing women's suits."
Provided I can find an esquire who will agree to take the case on a contingency basis, I say this to the USMS sexist powers that be:
See you in court! Suckers!
Hard to say where I'm "from" any more specifically than Florida and Georgia.
Born on the panhandle (before there was anything there), raised in a Georgia textile mill town, educated at Stetson, UF, and UGA, now living outside of a tiny town in N/Central GA. (If you've seen Zombieland, the rural scenes were filmed right down the road from my house, and the yellow Hummer scene in another small town nearby.)
All my family live in Florida, Georgia, Alabama, and N. Carolina.
When I was an age-group swimmer I swam for the team they put together for Steve Lundquist. Excellent coaches. That area used to be horse country, but now it's pretty much part of Atlanta.
You must not be too far from Griffin, Georgia. This is where my mother is from and where I spent part of my summers when I was very young. Her family has been in Georgia forever. Later generations settled in Henry County/Spalding County, Georgia during the 1820s. Actually, they were the first settlers on the land after the Creek Indians. Probably a marriage to a Creek because by DNA testing, I am 14% Native American. My cousins still live on the land in what is known as the Birdie community (pretty close to Sunny Side and Hampton).
Dad's family came to Jamestown, Virginia in 1638. The ancestor that I am descended from got killed in a Powhatan raid in 1644, but fortunately his infant son was spared. Although my dad was born above the Mason-Dixon Line in Buffalo, New York. He and my mother now live below the Mason-Dixon line and his family is still in Virginia, mainly around the Charlottesville area.
Given my roots, guess you can understand why I feel it necessary to defend the South. Have to also add that my great-great grandfather fought at Antietam and Gettysburg, and was at Appomatox when Lee surrendered.
I was educated at Emory and Georgetown, but am quite the UGA fan! Been kind of a rough year for the Dawgs, hasn't it?
Was the team that you competed for connected to Tallman Pools?
Bet Jim would love to hang out with my cousins in Georgia. It's all about fast cars and guns.
Jim, I think Chris and Fort have the right idea about what to call the suit. You sure don't want to be accused of cross-dressing in Georgia. Of course, we could send you to a couple of night clubs in Atlanta where some people might think it quite cool.
Hard to say where I'm "from" any more specifically than Florida and Georgia.
Born on the panhandle (before there was anything there), raised in a Georgia textile mill town, educated at Stetson, UF, and UGA, now living outside of a tiny town in N/Central GA. (If you've seen Zombieland, the rural scenes were filmed right down the road from my house, and the yellow Hummer scene in another small town nearby.)
All my family live in Florida, Georgia, Alabama, and N. Carolina.
When I was an age-group swimmer I swam for the team they put together for Steve Lundquist. Excellent coaches. That area used to be horse country, but now it's pretty much part of Atlanta.
You must not be too far from Griffin, Georgia. This is where my mother is from and where I spent part of my summers when I was very young. Her family has been in Georgia forever. Later generations settled in Henry County/Spalding County, Georgia during the 1820s. Actually, they were the first settlers on the land after the Creek Indians. Probably a marriage to a Creek because by DNA testing, I am 14% Native American. My cousins still live on the land in what is known as the Birdie community (pretty close to Sunny Side and Hampton).
Dad's family came to Jamestown, Virginia in 1638. The ancestor that I am descended from got killed in a Powhatan raid in 1644, but fortunately his infant son was spared. Although my dad was born above the Mason-Dixon Line in Buffalo, New York. He and my mother now live below the Mason-Dixon line and his family is still in Virginia, mainly around the Charlottesville area.
Given my roots, guess you can understand why I feel it necessary to defend the South. Have to also add that my great-great grandfather fought at Antietam and Gettysburg, and was at Appomatox when Lee surrendered.
I was educated at Emory and Georgetown, but am quite the UGA fan! Been kind of a rough year for the Dawgs, hasn't it?
Was the team that you competed for connected to Tallman Pools?
Bet Jim would love to hang out with my cousins in Georgia. It's all about fast cars and guns.
Jim, I think Chris and Fort have the right idea about what to call the suit. You sure don't want to be accused of cross-dressing in Georgia. Of course, we could send you to a couple of night clubs in Atlanta where some people might think it quite cool.
