In an effort to change the somewhat bitter tone of recent threads, I propose a new topic that I think will give everyone a smile and reason for good natured jocularity.
Imagine a virtual pit into which your college mascot, starved and abused into a snarling rage, is slowly hoisted down to fight to the death with my college mascot.
In the first of such grudge matches, a gelded Texas longhorn, still bleeding from its evacuated sack, but relatively huge in size, and with pointy horns gleaming, is loaded onto a winch and slowly but surely cranked down into the pit where awaits...
its worst nightmare.
The fierce killing machine that is the Michigan wolverine, pound for pound the meanest and most rapacious species of rodentia the earth has ever known.
Alas, before the straps can even be removed from the pathetic cow, my wolverine has eviscerated it and made a fine snack of its entrails.
Next?
I invited you to hoist your own college mascot down into the arena where it shall quickly join the carcass of the cow.
(Guys! Isn't this fun!!!!)
Jim,
Could a (Lehigh) engineer armed with a sliderule (and pocket protector) somehow calculate his way out of the pit and declare himself the victor?
And then the U of M marching band (still in the stands shocked with disbelief over the rugby incident) could first play a memorial salute to the fallen wolverine and then belt out a new version of Hail to the Victor in honor of the blushing young lad not used to the spotlight (but fortunately the tape on his glasses partially obscures his discomfort).
Or maybe not.
Jim,
Could a (Lehigh) engineer armed with a sliderule (and pocket protector) somehow calculate his way out of the pit and declare himself the victor?
And then the U of M marching band (still in the stands shocked with disbelief over the rugby incident) could first play a memorial salute to the fallen wolverine and then belt out a new version of Hail to the Victor in honor of the blushing young lad not used to the spotlight (but fortunately the tape on his glasses partially obscures his discomfort).
Or maybe not.
Hurray for nerds. I was one too, though not in your uber-nerdy field.
I think my mascot can do serious damage to you all.
Cougar attempts to insert banana slug into her yoohoo, gets toxic shock, dies.
Inexperienced Knight happens upon Cougar corpse, checks to see if anyone is looking, then sheepishly puts his sword into her "scabbard" --(note: a reference to the actual fact that the word for scabbard in the original latin is vagina), pulls out banana slug, decides it looks kind of good and eats it.
Little devilish engineer comes along and introduces the Knight to the Age of Enlightenment, which immediately dispatches the mythical hero to legend status, that is to say, death.
Who shall attempt to mess with an Engineering Enlightener in all his Terrible and Pocket-Protected Rationality?
Irradiated Dartmouth Indian scalps Engineer with his own slide rule, then places heavily convoluted prefrontal matter in nerd's front pocket, saying, "Protect this, keemosabe!."
I think Mr. Roddin is cheating. This is about mascots, after all, and Lehigh's mascot is the "Mountain Hawk." Hell, knights train hawks to hunt! Even if the hawk turns on the knight, what are her talons going to do against the knight's suit of armor? :)
And Jim's scabbard reference reminded me of something I saw on the Wikipedia home page today. I don't want to give anything away, but take a look at their "Featured Article" today!
...drunken Viking, wondering about in a daze, feels nature's call, urinates into what appears to him to be a giant natural toilet, gets dizzy, and tumbles inside, his fall cushioned by a piss-marinaded...
...a passed-out Viking who has little idea where he is, but if he had to hazard a guess, would probably say the bowl of a giant toilet in the woods.
Ah, the good old days...I kinda remember some of them.
:blush:
Well, we are going to throw multiple mascots at you. First we will start out with a masked rider who is going to terrible things to your mascot with his finger at high speed (there is a reason why he wears a mask):
big12football.net/texastechmascot.html
Then, if there is anything left of your mascot, our cartoon character mascot (Raider Red) with guns a blazing is going to take care of it:
www.ttu.edu/.../raiderred.php
If there is anything left, then this guy will make you never want to wander into these parts again:
YouTube - texas tech bell ringer
....only in West Texas.
Tim
(edit: when I graduated in 1991 our official mascot was the Engineer. Sometime in the late 90s or early 2000s the Mountain Hawk somehow came into existence.)
The three Texas Tech mascots, known privately as "the embarrassment squad," jump into the pit, squashing the Indian.
The chapparal bird, incredibly cute road runner-like crested snake-eater, who somehow managed to escape notice earlier, skittles into the pit, scaring the life out of the "embarrassment squad", so weakened by a life of being laughingstocks that they die happily, might I even say gratefully for the dispatch.
The little chapparal bird skitters about, pecking triumphantly....for now.
And Jim's scabbard reference reminded me of something I saw on the Wikipedia home page today. I don't want to give anything away, but take a look at their "Featured Article" today!
Wow, yet another reference to the good old college daze! This is an important article; I highly recommend it to all.
