In an effort to change the somewhat bitter tone of recent threads, I propose a new topic that I think will give everyone a smile and reason for good natured jocularity.
Imagine a virtual pit into which your college mascot, starved and abused into a snarling rage, is slowly hoisted down to fight to the death with my college mascot.
In the first of such grudge matches, a gelded Texas longhorn, still bleeding from its evacuated sack, but relatively huge in size, and with pointy horns gleaming, is loaded onto a winch and slowly but surely cranked down into the pit where awaits...
its worst nightmare.
The fierce killing machine that is the Michigan wolverine, pound for pound the meanest and most rapacious species of rodentia the earth has ever known.
Alas, before the straps can even be removed from the pathetic cow, my wolverine has eviscerated it and made a fine snack of its entrails.
Next?
I invited you to hoist your own college mascot down into the arena where it shall quickly join the carcass of the cow.
(Guys! Isn't this fun!!!!)
I believe that my college (and graduate school) mascots would be at the bottom of the pit, all but the exception of one:
1) the Bulldog, who would no doubt try to sniff, solely out of curiousity, the Longhorn (In the 1600s, bulldogs were used for bullbaiting (as well as bearbaiting)--a gambling sport popular in the 17th century with wagers laid while trained bulldogs leapt at a bull lashed to a post. The bulldog's typical means of attack included latching onto the animal's snout and attempted to suffocate it) only to be destroyed by any of the aforementioned animals.
2) The Cavalier or Wahoo (a fish which can drink a lot), depending on who you ask would be useless
3) The Hoosier, which is an awkward, unhandy, or unskilled person; especially: an ignorant rustic, in most cases the most likely one NOT to be found at the bottom of the pit, likely because he/she had NO IDEA where the pit was even located.
Hence the Hoosier, out of sheer ignorance, sits blissfully unaware of the battle for Mascot Supremacy.
I believe that my college (and graduate school) mascots would be at the bottom of the pit, all but the exception of one:
1) the Bulldog, who would no doubt try to sniff, solely out of curiousity, the Longhorn (In the 1600s, bulldogs were used for bullbaiting (as well as bearbaiting)--a gambling sport popular in the 17th century with wagers laid while trained bulldogs leapt at a bull lashed to a post. The bulldog's typical means of attack included latching onto the animal's snout and attempted to suffocate it) only to be destroyed by any of the aforementioned animals.
2) The Cavalier or Wahoo (a fish which can drink a lot), depending on who you ask would be useless
3) The Hoosier, which is an awkward, unhandy, or unskilled person; especially: an ignorant rustic, in most cases the most likely one NOT to be found at the bottom of the pit, likely because he/she had NO IDEA where the pit was even located.
Hence the Hoosier, out of sheer ignorance, sits blissfully unaware of the battle for Mascot Supremacy.
