Equipment Rep
Trains with every piece of equipment available at all times.
The Luddite
Trains with nothing. Only uses a loin cloth and goggles in workout.
The Barnacle
Leaves right on your feet. Couldn't count to five or ten if his life depnded on it.
The Coach
Not an actual coach, but someone who is consumed with technique. Swimming is a precise set of moves that can be broken down, categorized, and scientifically analyzed.
The Jaded
Could care less about technique. Just wants to swim and leave the analysis to the eggheads.
The Swimaholic
Trains at least 10 swimming workouts a week. Anything less is viewed as not trying.
Fast Guy who Never Trains
Shows up once a month and breaks national records in practice.
Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business
Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing.
Lane Guy
Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him.
The Crack Guy
Dude, pull your swimsuit up or get a bigger size.
The Newbie
Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask.
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As for myself, I would fall into the categories of Luddite and Jaded. Also, I wrote this from a male perspective, but the women are included as well. Any other stereotypes?
Hand Wringers - They stand on the pool deck waiting for someone, anyone, to thrice grant them permission to enter the water. If they only obtain permission twice, there will be more hand-wringing and waiting.
Waist Of Space - Randomly hops in and out of swim lanes in between hot tub sessions. You'll be shocked to hear that an exercise regimen based upon experiencing different water temperatures is not helping his waistline. Just pretend he isn't there. He'll move before your flip turn.
No Need For These - places goggles on forehead or removes them altogether to swim backstroke. Squints at ceiling the entire time. Performs backstroke with no body roll, keeps hips well below the surface, and has a very poor flutter kick.
Maybe Try Sweatin' To The Oldies Instead - insecurities cause her to fill all silence with inane chatter. Upon finishing a swim, she begins jabbering literally the moment that her mouth emerges from the water. These are actual quotes: "Oh! So much swimming!" (No, it wasn't.) "The water is so cold!" (No, it isn't.) Swimming is a strange choice of exercise for someone like this. Submerging oneself underwater without a constant stream of verbiage for reinforcement must be absolute torture.
That Guy - if you can get him to say more than 3 words during his workout, you win a prize.
Hand Wringers - They stand on the pool deck waiting for someone, anyone, to thrice grant them permission to enter the water. If they only obtain permission twice, there will be more hand-wringing and waiting.
Waist Of Space - Randomly hops in and out of swim lanes in between hot tub sessions. You'll be shocked to hear that an exercise regimen based upon experiencing different water temperatures is not helping his waistline. Just pretend he isn't there. He'll move before your flip turn.
No Need For These - places goggles on forehead or removes them altogether to swim backstroke. Squints at ceiling the entire time. Performs backstroke with no body roll, keeps hips well below the surface, and has a very poor flutter kick.
Maybe Try Sweatin' To The Oldies Instead - insecurities cause her to fill all silence with inane chatter. Upon finishing a swim, she begins jabbering literally the moment that her mouth emerges from the water. These are actual quotes: "Oh! So much swimming!" (No, it wasn't.) "The water is so cold!" (No, it isn't.) Swimming is a strange choice of exercise for someone like this. Submerging oneself underwater without a constant stream of verbiage for reinforcement must be absolute torture.
That Guy - if you can get him to say more than 3 words during his workout, you win a prize.
