Swimming Stereotypes

Former Member
Former Member
Equipment Rep Trains with every piece of equipment available at all times. The Luddite Trains with nothing. Only uses a loin cloth and goggles in workout. The Barnacle Leaves right on your feet. Couldn't count to five or ten if his life depnded on it. The Coach Not an actual coach, but someone who is consumed with technique. Swimming is a precise set of moves that can be broken down, categorized, and scientifically analyzed. The Jaded Could care less about technique. Just wants to swim and leave the analysis to the eggheads. The Swimaholic Trains at least 10 swimming workouts a week. Anything less is viewed as not trying. Fast Guy who Never Trains Shows up once a month and breaks national records in practice. Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing. Lane Guy Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him. The Crack Guy Dude, pull your swimsuit up or get a bigger size. The Newbie Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask. _________________ As for myself, I would fall into the categories of Luddite and Jaded. Also, I wrote this from a male perspective, but the women are included as well. Any other stereotypes?
Parents
  • The much ado about not very much: Arrives with large swim bag and places it carefully on bench. Takes lots of time removing sweatsuit, revealing nifty new-looking swim suit. Spends more time organizing swim bag, folding towel, rummaging through gear, selecting lane, puting on and adjusting goggles, I don't-know-what-else-I-was-actually-swimming. Finally gets in and swims..... drumroll.... TWO LENGTHS! (Not especially slow, took about a minute I'd guess. Stroke was respectable.) Gets out and leaves pool area. From arrival to departure of much ado about not very much I am certain I swam at least 1000 yds.
Reply
  • The much ado about not very much: Arrives with large swim bag and places it carefully on bench. Takes lots of time removing sweatsuit, revealing nifty new-looking swim suit. Spends more time organizing swim bag, folding towel, rummaging through gear, selecting lane, puting on and adjusting goggles, I don't-know-what-else-I-was-actually-swimming. Finally gets in and swims..... drumroll.... TWO LENGTHS! (Not especially slow, took about a minute I'd guess. Stroke was respectable.) Gets out and leaves pool area. From arrival to departure of much ado about not very much I am certain I swam at least 1000 yds.
Children
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