Equipment Rep
Trains with every piece of equipment available at all times.
The Luddite
Trains with nothing. Only uses a loin cloth and goggles in workout.
The Barnacle
Leaves right on your feet. Couldn't count to five or ten if his life depnded on it.
The Coach
Not an actual coach, but someone who is consumed with technique. Swimming is a precise set of moves that can be broken down, categorized, and scientifically analyzed.
The Jaded
Could care less about technique. Just wants to swim and leave the analysis to the eggheads.
The Swimaholic
Trains at least 10 swimming workouts a week. Anything less is viewed as not trying.
Fast Guy who Never Trains
Shows up once a month and breaks national records in practice.
Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business
Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing.
Lane Guy
Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him.
The Crack Guy
Dude, pull your swimsuit up or get a bigger size.
The Newbie
Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask.
_________________
As for myself, I would fall into the categories of Luddite and Jaded. Also, I wrote this from a male perspective, but the women are included as well. Any other stereotypes?
Swimmj--I LOVE your description of that little 7 year old and her friend who together are so cute it makes your teeth hurt!
You sound like a great coach and a great competitor. Elise, your descriptions of the South are fascinating. I agree that women are often extremely competitive and frankly, your gender seems to be taking over the world.
Perhaps some day, we males will shrivel into drones, and from there into sperm-dribbling homonculi you can carry around in your purses, and from there into even tinier and easier to swallow little pods of protoplasm that could survive in your guts and leeech reproductive material into the womb as needed.
Frankly, I'd be happy to become your quasi-hermaphroditic new organ/boyfriend right now. A warm, quiet, moist place where I can rest and not ever again worry about food or napping too long...
Alas, until nature takes its predictable course, I am stuck with my present husk.
I might tell the researcher who is studying gender and competition about this thread. I think he'd find it pretty fascinating. If anyone wants a .pdf of his papers, let me know and I will email them to you.
jamesthornton1@comcast.net
Swimmj--I LOVE your description of that little 7 year old and her friend who together are so cute it makes your teeth hurt!
You sound like a great coach and a great competitor. Elise, your descriptions of the South are fascinating. I agree that women are often extremely competitive and frankly, your gender seems to be taking over the world.
Perhaps some day, we males will shrivel into drones, and from there into sperm-dribbling homonculi you can carry around in your purses, and from there into even tinier and easier to swallow little pods of protoplasm that could survive in your guts and leeech reproductive material into the womb as needed.
Frankly, I'd be happy to become your quasi-hermaphroditic new organ/boyfriend right now. A warm, quiet, moist place where I can rest and not ever again worry about food or napping too long...
Alas, until nature takes its predictable course, I am stuck with my present husk.
I might tell the researcher who is studying gender and competition about this thread. I think he'd find it pretty fascinating. If anyone wants a .pdf of his papers, let me know and I will email them to you.
jamesthornton1@comcast.net
