Equipment Rep
Trains with every piece of equipment available at all times.
The Luddite
Trains with nothing. Only uses a loin cloth and goggles in workout.
The Barnacle
Leaves right on your feet. Couldn't count to five or ten if his life depnded on it.
The Coach
Not an actual coach, but someone who is consumed with technique. Swimming is a precise set of moves that can be broken down, categorized, and scientifically analyzed.
The Jaded
Could care less about technique. Just wants to swim and leave the analysis to the eggheads.
The Swimaholic
Trains at least 10 swimming workouts a week. Anything less is viewed as not trying.
Fast Guy who Never Trains
Shows up once a month and breaks national records in practice.
Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business
Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing.
Lane Guy
Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him.
The Crack Guy
Dude, pull your swimsuit up or get a bigger size.
The Newbie
Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask.
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As for myself, I would fall into the categories of Luddite and Jaded. Also, I wrote this from a male perspective, but the women are included as well. Any other stereotypes?
The Creepy Old Guy
Middle aged man that always wants to share his lane with the 20 and 30 something women but will never swim with men. He finds ways to hug or touch said lanemates. Said lanemates refuse to swim in front of him during breaststroke sets. COG makes inappropriate jokes and is basically a total and utter DOM with no redeeming qualities.Sorry, Heather. We COGs actually hate ourselves. We're crying on the inside even if it looks like our tears are made of saliva and coming from the corners of our mouths, not eyes.
Stop us before we leer and ogle again!
What's more, 80 percent of the time, we are pure bluster. I think you young girls will find that if you actually stopped, turned, and offered to have your way with us, we'd probably be so scared we'd hightail it... straight to the nearest tyrsting spot. Within 2 years, we'd stop bothering you completely!
Is this what you mean about inappropriate jokes?
The Creepy Old Guy
Middle aged man that always wants to share his lane with the 20 and 30 something women but will never swim with men. He finds ways to hug or touch said lanemates. Said lanemates refuse to swim in front of him during breaststroke sets. COG makes inappropriate jokes and is basically a total and utter DOM with no redeeming qualities.Sorry, Heather. We COGs actually hate ourselves. We're crying on the inside even if it looks like our tears are made of saliva and coming from the corners of our mouths, not eyes.
Stop us before we leer and ogle again!
What's more, 80 percent of the time, we are pure bluster. I think you young girls will find that if you actually stopped, turned, and offered to have your way with us, we'd probably be so scared we'd hightail it... straight to the nearest tyrsting spot. Within 2 years, we'd stop bothering you completely!
Is this what you mean about inappropriate jokes?
