Equipment Rep
Trains with every piece of equipment available at all times.
The Luddite
Trains with nothing. Only uses a loin cloth and goggles in workout.
The Barnacle
Leaves right on your feet. Couldn't count to five or ten if his life depnded on it.
The Coach
Not an actual coach, but someone who is consumed with technique. Swimming is a precise set of moves that can be broken down, categorized, and scientifically analyzed.
The Jaded
Could care less about technique. Just wants to swim and leave the analysis to the eggheads.
The Swimaholic
Trains at least 10 swimming workouts a week. Anything less is viewed as not trying.
Fast Guy who Never Trains
Shows up once a month and breaks national records in practice.
Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business
Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing.
Lane Guy
Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him.
The Crack Guy
Dude, pull your swimsuit up or get a bigger size.
The Newbie
Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask.
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As for myself, I would fall into the categories of Luddite and Jaded. Also, I wrote this from a male perspective, but the women are included as well. Any other stereotypes?
The Late Bloomer
A fevered and frequent competitor, TLB continually rationalizes slow performances by citing dense, impenetrable research on VO2 Max and other incomprehensible alleged measures of athletic capacity. TLB references ad nauseum the fact that TLB did not swim age group, thereby missing out on the prime VO2 Max building years. TLB will only compare TLB's performances to those of other, similarly situated TLBs (down to country of origin, educational background, current economic status, and year of immigration to this country) thereby ensuring TLB's victory in TLB's narrowly self-defined peer group. Will debate these points endlessly, vociferously, and mindlessly on various fora until forced to leave.
Note: May be somehow related to The Elevator Repairman, see above.
The Late Bloomer
A fevered and frequent competitor, TLB continually rationalizes slow performances by citing dense, impenetrable research on VO2 Max and other incomprehensible alleged measures of athletic capacity. TLB references ad nauseum the fact that TLB did not swim age group, thereby missing out on the prime VO2 Max building years. TLB will only compare TLB's performances to those of other, similarly situated TLBs (down to country of origin, educational background, current economic status, and year of immigration to this country) thereby ensuring TLB's victory in TLB's narrowly self-defined peer group. Will debate these points endlessly, vociferously, and mindlessly on various fora until forced to leave.
Note: May be somehow related to The Elevator Repairman, see above.
