Death to all Noodlers!

I cant resist this one... recently doing a set of 75's which therfore require me to stop at the end of the pool most heavily populated with Noodlers. During my stops at that end, become nauseated from heavy perfume on surface of water. Just wondering...who says to themselves,"Suit, check, tennis shoes, check, noodle, check, perfume, check...ready to go."?

The community pool in my town, now the Y, refused to allow lane lines unless their swim team was practicing. I even offered to string and unstring one for myself and was told "it's too much trouble". It was like swimming in open water with the waves and swells in the pool. Now I'm swimming at another pool 30 minutes away which has Masters. Still it would be nice to be able to walk 5 minutes to the nearer pool without frustration as opposed to driving 30 minutes each way

I had an older lady ask me today "Why do you need to splash like that when you swim. I was not taught to swim that way". And then she proceeds to show me her "stroke". I don't get it. If you are afraid of getting wet, why are you in a pool, let alone in a lap lane? I had a lady tell me the other day -after she got in MY LAP lane and I stopped in the middle of a set so she could cross to an empty lane-that i should move because she was not going to get her hair wet trying to do it herself and she was only going to walk anyhow. All i had was -suit yourself-and I proceeded to work real hard on my drills with lots of arm splashing and i even used my fins for some extra splashing. I got myself good and tired and the lady wet.

I absolutely love this thread. I swimin the morning right as the pool opens because I need to be out of the water by 7:15. There is always a line outside of the rec center when i show up. As soon as the door opens these people are squeezing 3 at time through the door to run to the pool. clothes flying, some people put their caps on in the lobby and have all the pool equipment under their arms ready to run. So here's the funny part...does it really take fins,paddles,cloth swim cap, and scuba mask to side stroke for 20 minutes in the morning? They get so mad when I make them share a lane with me. they even call me a pool hog because i swim 5-8k in the mornings. nothing like an aqua jogger that insists on using the lap pool over the warm play pool that is 10 degrees warmer then, complain the theres too much splashing and the lap pool is too cold at 82. well that feels better.:agree:

One 100 free to go in set. Two open lanes.(no lane lines in pool) Noodler comes over to stand in my lane to talk with friend. Pool is set at 85 degrees cause all the noodlers say it is to cold otherwise. I complain to guard, am told, "well there are a lot more of them then there are lap swimmers" Wont be if they keep this up. UGH! :frustrated: Hoosier With all the shootings that have been going on lately, when I see a post titled “Death to all Noodlers” on a swimming discussion board, it’s good to know that it's extremely difficult to fire a hand gun while submerged and the bullets won't have enough muzzle velocity to inflict serious injury to anyone in the pool!!! :bolt: www.dlsports.com/underwater_handgun_shooting.html Dolphin 2

I am going to complain because I have nothing else to b*tch about today. What's with the old men and the powder all over the locker room? I bet we have the worse locker room set up possible too. it's layed out where once you shower you walk through the changing area to the pool. so all that powder on the floor is now paste. And why does the pool maintenace guy still wear coolwater? I can taste it it in the air. That's it. nothing important...

Are we talking about (what I call) the "manatees" here? :) The thing about a lap swimmer is that he wants to go in as straight a line as possible. And any respectable lap swimming REQUIRES by definition that it goes from one end to the other. A noodler (or a manatee or a floating cadaver or whatever else you want to call it) only requires its immediate surrounding. Perhaps a 3-foot-square area, although that area does drift around as the noodler drifts, and it does not require any line or path to speak of. Thus, noodling and lap swimming are counter utilitarian in the pool and should be kept separated by a lane line. I think my most noteworthy noodler memory was the time a pod of manatees started up their class (they took FOUR of the six lanes in the pool, so the all the lap swimmers had to circle in the remailing two lanes.) They started up with "warm ups" where they stood in the shallow end with a noodle between their legs - half up the front off their bodies, half up the back. One lady was so, uh... , portly ... that the noodle up her back literally DISAPPEARED in her butt crack. I'm not sure if I gasped in disgust or laughter, but I swallowed an unexpected gulp of water upon the sight. I made sure I breathed to the opposite side from that sight for the rest of the workout.

By nature, I'm a very patient, friendly, mild-mannered, slow-to-anger type of person, and let me tell you, a couple of times noodlers have incited me to complete rage... I mean to a total internal freak-out! That's why I love the title of this thread ("Death to all Noodlers"), because I have definitely felt that way. Once a noodle teacher put some of her classmembers in the reserved "lap" lane (even though it looked to me like there was plenty of pool space left), and she told me that I could swim around them. Well, ok. That was a challenge, but I made it work, and I really tried my utmost to be considerate and non-splashy. But when I was barely warmed up, and just starting the meat-and-potatoes of my workout, she told me I needed to stop because the class was going to do some exercises where they'd be on their backs, and the splashes from lap swimming could endanger them. This sounds totally absurd to me! Anyway, since then, I've been stupid enough to not be finished with my workout before this particular noodle class gets to the pool, and it's been made clear that this woman and her class will not share the pool with lap swimmers, period. This makes me so livid! I'll share a lane with anyone, any time, and make it work--we're all there to get a workout---so why can't they share, too? It offends me deeply to have to surrender the pool space to these people, most of whom--it seems to me-- are just bouncing around in the water, and aren't exerting themselves enough to be even a little bit winded. The proof is in the pudding: their arms and legs look just as flabby as they did 8 weeks ago. I've worked hard to overcome my "Sink The Turtles!" feelings by reaching out and befriending some noodlers. I even did a noodle class(NOT with that same teacher! The class I attended had a different vibe). Some of the exercises were very challenging. I learned a few things that I've used on my own since. I can't paint noodlers with a broad brush. Although the majority seem to me to be a bunch of flabby people bouncing in the water and calling it exercise, I admit there are some that really apply themselves, and that really have gotten results. I've befriended some of the serious ones and some of the flabbos, too, and it has paid off for me in that on days when I've arrived at the pool and it's super busy, they've invited me to share their lane.

Okay, I've not read through this entire thread as it's too long for me. Sorry if this has already been stated (most likely it has). I finally saw a woman @ my gym over the weekend swimming multiple laps with her reading glasses on. Basically it was water polo free with her head fully out of the water - and glasses on. Classic!

The darndest thing happened to me last year. Noodlers were taking up all the lanes like mentioned in above post. They even asked me to move to the wall lane of a very narrow pool. Very begrudgingly I moved. Do you know that my fly stroke just went to he!!? I couldn't get both arms to enter simultaneously in front of my head, extended. Depending on the direction I was going one arm would always enter, bent, and my hand would make a weird crossways movement (like a splash almost). The noodlers were very upset that their hair got wet. So I very calmly explained to them that they should get out of the POOL if they didn't want to get wet. They are a breed that needs to face extinction ; ]