Hypochondriacs' Club

I see the starting of this thread as a complete violation on your whining ban and hereby declare that all alcohol will be paid for by Fort for any forum masters swimmer at any bar/restaurant she happens to show up at over the course of the meet. :drink:

For the hypochondriacs and whiners, I hereby create the following diversion... the history of woodworking, courtesy of Wikipedia: "Along with stone, mud, and animal parts, wood was certainly one of the first materials worked by primitive human beings. Microwear analysis of the Mousterian stone tools used by the Neanderthals show that many were used to work wood. Indeed, the development of civilization was closely tied to the development of increasingly greater degrees of skill in working these materials. Among early finds of wooden tools are the worked sticks from Kalambo Falls, Clacton-on-Sea and Lehringen. The spears from Schöningen (Germany) provide some of the first examples of wooden hunting gear. Flint tools were used for carving. Since Neolithic times, carved wooden vessels are known, for example from the Linear Pottery culture wells at Kückhofen and Eythra. Examples of Bronze Age wood-carving include trees worked into coffins from northern Germany and Denmark, and wooden folding-chairs. The site of Fellbach-Schmieden in Germany has provided fine examples of wooden animal statues from the Iron Age. Wooden idols from the La Tène period are known from a sanctuary at the source of the Seine in France. Two ancient civilizations that used woodworking were the Egyptians and the Chinese. Woodworking is depicted in many ancient Egyptian drawings, and a considerable amount of ancient Egyptian furniture (such as stools, chairs, tables, beds, chests) has been preserved in tombs. As well, the inner coffins found in the tombs were also made of wood. The metal used by the Egyptians for woodworking tools was originally copper and eventually, after 2000 BC bronze as ironworking was unknown until much later. Commonly used woodworking tools included axes, adzes, chisels, pull saws, and bow drills. Mortise and tenon joints are attested from the earliest Predynastic period. These joints were strengthened using pegs, dowels and leather or cord lashings. Animal glue came to be used only in the New Kingdom period. Ancient Egyptians invented the art of veneering and used varnishes whose composition is not known as finishes. Although different native acacias were used, as was the wood from the local sycomore and tamarisk trees, deforestation in the Nile valley resulted in the need for importation of wood, notably cedar, but also Aleppo pine, boxwood and oak, starting from the Second Dynasty. The progenitors of Chinese woodworking are considered to be Lu Ban and his wife Lady Yun, from the Spring and Autumn Period. Lu Ban is said to have brought the plane, chalkline, and other tools to China. His teachings are supposedly left behind in the book Lu Ban Jing ("Manuscript of Lu Ban"), although it was written some 1500 years after his death. This book is filled largely with descriptions of dimensions for use in building various items—such as flower pots, tables, altars, etc.—and also contains extensive instructions concerning Feng Shui, the ancient Chinese practice of geomancy. It mentions almost nothing of the intricate glueless and nailless joinery for which Chinese furniture was so famous."

Leslie, here is your answer! These joints were strengthened using pegs, dowels and leather or cord lashings. The next time I come to Colony Zones, and attempt what in retrospect was unsuccessful implosion therapy on you, I will bring my pegs, dowels, and various lashings and make sue those joints do not bother you, or for that matter, any of us, ever again! Thanks to That Guy for the kind of "out of the box" thinking that took liposuction from its original purpose, i.e., abortion, and extended it to the siphoning off of adipose tissue. I always knew that woodworking had potential, but I didn't suspect until now just how useful it could prove for HSS (hypochondriacal shoulder syndrome.)

I see the starting of this thread as a complete violation on your whining ban and hereby declare that all alcohol will be paid for by Fort for any forum masters swimmer at any bar/restaurant she happens to show up at over the course of the meet. :drink: Shouldn't we just send the bill to Jim? :bolt:

Thanks to That Guy for the kind of "out of the box" thinking that took liposuction from its original purpose, i.e., abortion, and extended it to the siphoning off of adipose tissue. I always knew that woodworking had potential, but I didn't suspect until now just how useful it could prove for HSS (hypochondriacal shoulder syndrome.) You're welcome, Jim! Say hi to pony for me.

hereby declare that all alcohol will be paid for by Fort for any forum masters swimmer at any bar/restaurant she happens to show up at over the course of the meet. :drink: Hear hear!

An eminently clubbable person! Fort, is that Mr. Fort whose arms embrace you? He looks like a good Defensive Perimeter to your ops. Congratulations! VB

An eminently clubbable person! Fort, is that Mr. Fort whose arms embrace you? He looks like a good Defensive Perimeter to your ops. Congratulations! VB No, that's Jim Thornton, the Zonesman and bad influence, posing for pics before our Red, Hot & Blue outing. I make it a point to hug everyone who come to our local meets. I had the Hulk on my avatar yesterday. :joker: (Oh, in reality, I am the opposite of a "clubber" or "joiner." I dislike organizations, generally, and go out of my way to avoid entanglements.)

For the hypochondriacs and whiners, I hereby create the following diversion... the history of woodworking, courtesy of Wikipedia: Careful. You might get a splinter.