Beginner with Many Questions

Hi Everyone, I just registered today in hopes of getting some good information from experienced swimmers. Me: I'm 39 years old, 6' 5", 225 pounds. I'm in good shape, I've played sports and been active my whole life. I'm a good runner (again) and a good cyclist. Because of my lack of swimming, I've only done team competitions or duathlons. I'm currently training for my first real triathlon (sprint distance .25 mi swim in San Pablo Bay, wetsuits allowed). My Swimming: ...Is horrible. I took lessons when I was 8 and nothing since then. I've never been afraid of the water and I've always enjoyed playing in the water, surfing, snorkeling, etc. I took a few lessons last summer and finally learned to swim with my face in the water and rotate to breathe. Still, I cannot swim farther than 25 meters without stopping to catch my breath even if just for 15-20 seconds. I can easily do this for 20+ plus lengths. Unfortunately, there are no walls in triathlon and the water depth is usually greater than 3 feet! I've always envied good swimmers and though I've always been a good athlete, it is the one thing that has eluded me. I started taking lessons again with a different coach (this past Saturday). Needless to say, I have a lot of questions and I'm hoping that you guys can help me out here. The more I try to study the skill of swimming, the more confused I get. Maybe I'm reading and thinking about it TOO much? I appreciate any feedback or advice. Head Position: TI teaches head low in the water, eyes looking at the bottom of pool. My coach last summer taught the same thing. My new coach says head is way too low and making my breathing a lot harder than it should be. New coach says look at the opposite end of the pool. Which one is right? Some people say look at the floor 6 feet ahead. Is there a right and a wrong? Kick: How do I develop a strong kick and do I need one? TI says no kickboard and to develop a non-overt kick. Both of my coaches said my kick stinks and put me on kickboards. When kicking, should the feet stay close together (i.e., pigeon toed)? Breathing: Here's a good one.:wiggle: TI doesn't focus on breathing a lot in any of the materials that I've read or seen. My new coach says breathe out through nose and in through mouth. She also says breathe all air out before taking a breath. If I don't do this (except during extreme physical exertion on land) why would I do it while swimming the first event in a 3 event race? She also recommends NOT breathing every 2nd stroke but every 3rd (bilateral) or even 4th. As it stands now, I need to catch my breath after every 25 meters so I'm not doing something right. Am I breathing too much or not enough? Am I hyperventilating? I'm starting to get frustrated and have doubts but I'm trying to keep a positive attitude but that little voice in my head keeps telling me "Other people are swimmers but YOU are NOT". I'm not ready to give up yet though. I dreamed of doing triathlons in the mid 80s and never did. I would like to accomplish this before my 40th birthday! Sorry the length of the post, any help is greatly appreciated!!!!!!!