places to swim in Afghanistan/poll for women swimmers

My demented editor (I know he doesn't swim, but I can only hope he isn't a closet masters swim forum lurker) has recently proposed sending me to Afghanistan, which I can't even spell, in order to do a story not on the resurgent Taliban or even the ups and downs of the opium trade, but rather on the enduring popularity of male body building in that ruined country. Supposedly, despite all the troubles over there, muscle gyms abound in Kabul--testimony, in my editor's eyes, at least, to the ineradicability of male vanity. Why he wants me to write about this is a more complicated story, but I replied that I thought his essential premise was flawed--that men don't body build out of vanity/desire to impress the distaff gender; they do it (in my opinion--must check with evolutionary psychologists for verification; the attached poll is a way of gauging feminine sentiment regarding hypermuscularity) to keep other guys from beating them up. The largest per capita rate of male body building in the US goes is in prisons in states where the respective state legislatures have not banned barbells (hoping to prevent super criminals from being released en masse upon the flabby public when their sentences are over.) My editor was undeterred by my theories and objections--he still wants me to go. For a variety of reasons, including a probable State Department ban on tourism to countries we're at war with (again, more research needed), I doubt I will actually be going to Afghanistan. But in the remote case I do go, does anyone know places to swim over there? If I am to be the first "journalist" beheaded during the Global War on Terror, not for investigating this, to be sure, but while reporting on muscle gyms, I would like to at least be able to get some final relaxing laps in before losing my head. PS if anyone is interested in coming along as a personal masseuse on this junket, let me know your measurements for the prerequisite burka (I think Amanda Beard might model these on the Speedo web site, but I'm not sure.) I'm thinking a good neck rub might serve to relax the cervical muscles, eliminating any knots that might otherwise impede the scimitar's progress, making my moment of dispatch as speedy and pleasant as possible In this way, I--and not my demented editor--will get the last, albeit very short-lived, laugh!
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  • Former Member
    Former Member
    What, we can't joke anymore? Just a sense I get, but judging from past threads, no one likes being told to move on. I've sold out. I'm a Republican on economic issues and a Democrat on social issues. I pay way too much in taxes. Jim: It's not good to brag about being a geek. Rich: Good luck at your meet. Hope your back is better. Fortress: Your job sucks. Take up journalism. Geek: Keep zinging the SMITHS. It's way more entertaining than the other pious comments. Gull: Glad your dry humor is back. Islandsox: Haven't spoken for awhile, but I hope the fly training is going well. Slowswim: I like your profile pic. Tri? Who said anything about being a geek? LOL! But since everyone else is plugging thier political stance, I guess I can say a little about mine....which is that I feel "similarly" as the way you described yours Caped One in that I am somewhat fiscally conservative...but Socially liberal....but saying I'm a "Republican" on economic issues may be a bit of a stretch for me. Newmastersswimmer
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  • Former Member
    Former Member
    What, we can't joke anymore? Just a sense I get, but judging from past threads, no one likes being told to move on. I've sold out. I'm a Republican on economic issues and a Democrat on social issues. I pay way too much in taxes. Jim: It's not good to brag about being a geek. Rich: Good luck at your meet. Hope your back is better. Fortress: Your job sucks. Take up journalism. Geek: Keep zinging the SMITHS. It's way more entertaining than the other pious comments. Gull: Glad your dry humor is back. Islandsox: Haven't spoken for awhile, but I hope the fly training is going well. Slowswim: I like your profile pic. Tri? Who said anything about being a geek? LOL! But since everyone else is plugging thier political stance, I guess I can say a little about mine....which is that I feel "similarly" as the way you described yours Caped One in that I am somewhat fiscally conservative...but Socially liberal....but saying I'm a "Republican" on economic issues may be a bit of a stretch for me. Newmastersswimmer
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