My demented editor (I know he doesn't swim, but I can only hope he isn't a closet masters swim forum lurker) has recently proposed sending me to Afghanistan, which I can't even spell, in order to do a story not on the resurgent Taliban or even the ups and downs of the opium trade, but rather on the enduring popularity of male body building in that ruined country. Supposedly, despite all the troubles over there, muscle gyms abound in Kabul--testimony, in my editor's eyes, at least, to the ineradicability of male vanity.
Why he wants me to write about this is a more complicated story, but I replied that I thought his essential premise was flawed--that men don't body build out of vanity/desire to impress the distaff gender; they do it (in my opinion--must check with evolutionary psychologists for verification; the attached poll is a way of gauging feminine sentiment regarding hypermuscularity) to keep other guys from beating them up. The largest per capita rate of male body building in the US goes is in prisons in states where the respective state legislatures have not banned barbells (hoping to prevent super criminals from being released en masse upon the flabby public when their sentences are over.) My editor was undeterred by my theories and objections--he still wants me to go.
For a variety of reasons, including a probable State Department ban on tourism to countries we're at war with (again, more research needed), I doubt I will actually be going to Afghanistan. But in the remote case I do go, does anyone know places to swim over there?
If I am to be the first "journalist" beheaded during the Global War on Terror, not for investigating this, to be sure, but while reporting on muscle gyms, I would like to at least be able to get some final relaxing laps in before losing my head.
PS if anyone is interested in coming along as a personal masseuse on this junket, let me know your measurements for the prerequisite burka (I think Amanda Beard might model these on the Speedo web site, but I'm not sure.) I'm thinking a good neck rub might serve to relax the cervical muscles, eliminating any knots that might otherwise impede the scimitar's progress, making my moment of dispatch as speedy and pleasant as possible
In this way, I--and not my demented editor--will get the last, albeit very short-lived, laugh!
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Former Member
Women dress for other women, undress for men. Wait, that's not the subject here. But it is in the same line of thought. The reason women dress up is to impress other women. The reason men bulk up or take steroids to bulk up and do whatever it takes to go the Arnold way is to impress other men. The reason men go to the club and do weights and so forth, when not in excess, is to look better (leaner and with muscles but not bulky) for other women. High weight, low repetion: impress other guys. Low weight, high repetition: impress girls. See a guy joining a health club, going on a diet... Cherchez la femme!
You can however have that subliminary or hidden or unsconscious desire to look better even though you are not about to find another girl, or cheat on your wife; you just want to know that you could if you would, that is, you want to know that you can go searching for company and be successful as when you were young and handsome and single. See the point? It is a psychological need, that goes back into the breeding need. It is primal, in that better and stronger and younger males call attention to the females, but they must also beat up the other males in the group so they will succeed in being the breeding male (I am talking about animals, not us, but then...). Here is something for an article or thesis: why do we feel attracted to people who participate in the same type of sports that we do? In other words, why I don't find the hot russian tennis players hot anymore, but find the hot swimmers hot nowadays. Do I want to breed with swimmers so as to make better swimmers? Interesting thoughts. billy fanstone (what's my excuse as I have been neutered?)
Women dress for other women, undress for men. Wait, that's not the subject here. But it is in the same line of thought. The reason women dress up is to impress other women. The reason men bulk up or take steroids to bulk up and do whatever it takes to go the Arnold way is to impress other men. The reason men go to the club and do weights and so forth, when not in excess, is to look better (leaner and with muscles but not bulky) for other women. High weight, low repetion: impress other guys. Low weight, high repetition: impress girls. See a guy joining a health club, going on a diet... Cherchez la femme!
You can however have that subliminary or hidden or unsconscious desire to look better even though you are not about to find another girl, or cheat on your wife; you just want to know that you could if you would, that is, you want to know that you can go searching for company and be successful as when you were young and handsome and single. See the point? It is a psychological need, that goes back into the breeding need. It is primal, in that better and stronger and younger males call attention to the females, but they must also beat up the other males in the group so they will succeed in being the breeding male (I am talking about animals, not us, but then...). Here is something for an article or thesis: why do we feel attracted to people who participate in the same type of sports that we do? In other words, why I don't find the hot russian tennis players hot anymore, but find the hot swimmers hot nowadays. Do I want to breed with swimmers so as to make better swimmers? Interesting thoughts. billy fanstone (what's my excuse as I have been neutered?)
