A quick question for the knowledgeable readers out there. This NYT magazine called Play recently contacted me about writing a piece for a section they call "Master Class" -- they want me to go someplace warm and get some swimming instruction of some sort.
I know that USMS used to have some kind of program where masters swimmers could apply to go out to Colorado Springs for intensive coaching, stroke analysis in the ICAR flume, etc. Is this still going on, do any of you know, and would it be possible to just do a "lite" version of this (a day or two; bypass the application process; not actually need to be an elite swimmer; etc.)
The other possibilities would be one of Terry's TI camps (though, God help me, front quadrant swimming really hurts my shoulders, and I feel this dog is just too old to learn that particular new trick).
Or--and this might be my favorite of all--didn't Gary Hall, Jr. start some sort of Sprint Club training camp down in Key West or the Bahamas or some similar place that would prove the perfect antidote to Pittsburgh this time of the year, especially if I don't have to pay for it?
Please let me know the details of any such possibiities--the editor did specify he'd prefer me to go someplace "warm and outdoors-y." Which makes two of us.
First I need to write Fort's future ....
Fort tries to mend the broken/burned/nuked bridge between her and Geek again and is unsuccessful, using her anger she goes to the pool and is able to swim completely pain free for thousands of yards. She is able to swim fly endlessly with perfect form and great speed. Her backstroke is fantastic, too. She wins a huge case and takes the money and meets her favorite baby sister at Allan's breaststroke camp in Hawaii where they both learn to breaststroke at a respectable speed - just fast enough to beat Rich.
Fort returns home to find the rude hormonal one no longer rude or hormonal. Her baby has given up her love of soccer and taken on swimming, her prefrence being fly of course. Her kids become completly self-suficient allowing her to sleep in rather than drive them to early am practice and they tell her to swim her own meets rather then hang out at theirs ...
Not bad! Money, world travel, no hormones. Fortunately, the rude hormonal one quit travel soccer starting this fall. So I'm currently off the hook! I'm going to write my own alternative future:
Fortress is appointed dictator of USMS swimming. Shocking everyone, she doesn't eliminate breaststroke or butterfrog because some of the odd folks swiming those strokes are actually her friends. Instead, she enforces a rigid night owl schedule for all swim meets and swim practices to accomodate people who hate early mornings or have insomnia. She and the rude hormonal one live in peace because the early morning drives are eliminated. Fortress wins a huge slander case suing an unnamed plaintiff. With the proceeds, she sends her husband to medical school and he becomes an orthopod. He cures all SR and NSR posters who like Fortress of all injuries for life. Everyone flies to the Honduras and swims endless fly in an endless pool with Islandsox and Barra. Everyone gets drunk afterward on Monkey La-Las and they all start claiming race handicaps. FlyQueen leads the dance on the bar. After the gaiety, Ande's blog becomes so overclogged with happy posters that he stops weighing himself daily and starts drinking wine again. He crushes good and evil smith and becomes the next dictator of USMS Swimming to be succeeded by FlyQueen when she ages up a bit.
Poolraat:
I'll get to you next, I have to walk out the door right now. Aren't you one of the ones whose shoulder woes are permanently cured living the high life down in the Honduras? You could also write your own just like I did.
First I need to write Fort's future ....
Fort tries to mend the broken/burned/nuked bridge between her and Geek again and is unsuccessful, using her anger she goes to the pool and is able to swim completely pain free for thousands of yards. She is able to swim fly endlessly with perfect form and great speed. Her backstroke is fantastic, too. She wins a huge case and takes the money and meets her favorite baby sister at Allan's breaststroke camp in Hawaii where they both learn to breaststroke at a respectable speed - just fast enough to beat Rich.
Fort returns home to find the rude hormonal one no longer rude or hormonal. Her baby has given up her love of soccer and taken on swimming, her prefrence being fly of course. Her kids become completly self-suficient allowing her to sleep in rather than drive them to early am practice and they tell her to swim her own meets rather then hang out at theirs ...
Not bad! Money, world travel, no hormones. Fortunately, the rude hormonal one quit travel soccer starting this fall. So I'm currently off the hook! I'm going to write my own alternative future:
Fortress is appointed dictator of USMS swimming. Shocking everyone, she doesn't eliminate breaststroke or butterfrog because some of the odd folks swiming those strokes are actually her friends. Instead, she enforces a rigid night owl schedule for all swim meets and swim practices to accomodate people who hate early mornings or have insomnia. She and the rude hormonal one live in peace because the early morning drives are eliminated. Fortress wins a huge slander case suing an unnamed plaintiff. With the proceeds, she sends her husband to medical school and he becomes an orthopod. He cures all SR and NSR posters who like Fortress of all injuries for life. Everyone flies to the Honduras and swims endless fly in an endless pool with Islandsox and Barra. Everyone gets drunk afterward on Monkey La-Las and they all start claiming race handicaps. FlyQueen leads the dance on the bar. After the gaiety, Ande's blog becomes so overclogged with happy posters that he stops weighing himself daily and starts drinking wine again. He crushes good and evil smith and becomes the next dictator of USMS Swimming to be succeeded by FlyQueen when she ages up a bit.
Poolraat:
I'll get to you next, I have to walk out the door right now. Aren't you one of the ones whose shoulder woes are permanently cured living the high life down in the Honduras? You could also write your own just like I did.
