FINAL POSTING!!!!
PLEASE DON'T READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY GARMENTRY!!!
WHAT IS ABOUT TO COME IS VERY CLOSE TO NSR, WHICH I ASSUME MEANS NON-SWIMMING RELATED; IT IS PERHAPS 1-8 PERCENT SWIMMING RELATED AT BEST, SO----FAIR WARNING; DON'T READ ANOTHER SINGLE SOLITARY SYLLABLE IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT BE OFFENDED BY GARMENTRY THAT IS ONLY 1-8 PERCENT SWIMMING RELATED.
(ps SORRY TO USE ALL CAPS HERE, WHICH I'VE READ IS THE EQUIVALENT OF SHOUTING!!!!!!!)
Okay, so I doubt anybody in their right mind is reading at this point, but I simply must share a true story that happened at our practices last Wednesday and Friday.
A very attractive female swimmer--let us call her, for the sake of anonymity, Ursula--came over to me after our workout. Ursula was wearing a very pretty though thick brown sweater and blue jeans. She said, "Please don't take this wrong, but I just have to tell someone, and there were no women in the lockerrroom."
She proceeded to explain that she had bought a new swim suit earlier in the day and decided to just wear it under her clothes to practice. I don't fully understand the logistics here, she must have stopped off at home first and dropped some items off and whatnot. But anyhow, after practice, she started to get dressed and she realized she had no underwear.
"I'm not wearing any underwear," she told me.
The feelings this confession provoked in me were definitely NSR, but we won't go into them here.
Anyhow, she said she had to meet a friend at Starbucks and said she hoped her sweater would be enough to prevent any appearance of impropriety. I asked if it was a male or female friend, and she said female, and moreover her friend was chestally gifted. I said that in my opinion, it was no big whoop.
On Friday, our team had decided to go out to a Caribbean restaurant after practice. It was a BYOB place, and so a bunch of the non teetotalers (which I used to be, sadly, am no more) decided to bring really good/exotic beers.
Ursula later confessed to me a Post-It note she had written herself Friday morning so she wouldn't forget.
It read simply: "Bring Delerium and underwear."
(Explanatory note: Delerium Tremens is a brand of beer.)
(At this point, I made an additional comment, referring to a brand of carbohydrate gel Ursula had earlier given me to help prevent hypoglycemic attack mid practice. The product's name, and double entendre overtones, truly do not belong in here, so I shall leave this detail out pending my re-writing of the whole episode, with some poetic license, for resale to the kind of periodical where such anecdotes are a staple.)
Post Script:
On Friday after practice, Ursula got dressed in what I can only assume was a full set of feminine garmentry, seen and unseen. But she said that she had overheard a college swimmer talking on her cell phone in the lockerroom. This young woman was saying, "Thanks a lot. Because of you, I forgot to bring a bra, underwear, and my black shoes."
Evidently, there is a pandemic of this kind of thing happening, and to not discuss it openly will only allow the tragedy to increase.
At this point, please, please, please allow me to have contributed the final posting on a thread I started in the misbegotten hopes of just putting this matter to a vote and end.
FINAL POSTING!!!!
PLEASE DON'T READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY GARMENTRY!!!
WHAT IS ABOUT TO COME IS VERY CLOSE TO NSR, WHICH I ASSUME MEANS NON-SWIMMING RELATED; IT IS PERHAPS 1-8 PERCENT SWIMMING RELATED AT BEST, SO----FAIR WARNING; DON'T READ ANOTHER SINGLE SOLITARY SYLLABLE IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT BE OFFENDED BY GARMENTRY THAT IS ONLY 1-8 PERCENT SWIMMING RELATED.
(ps SORRY TO USE ALL CAPS HERE, WHICH I'VE READ IS THE EQUIVALENT OF SHOUTING!!!!!!!)
Okay, so I doubt anybody in their right mind is reading at this point, but I simply must share a true story that happened at our practices last Wednesday and Friday.
A very attractive female swimmer--let us call her, for the sake of anonymity, Ursula--came over to me after our workout. Ursula was wearing a very pretty though thick brown sweater and blue jeans. She said, "Please don't take this wrong, but I just have to tell someone, and there were no women in the lockerrroom."
She proceeded to explain that she had bought a new swim suit earlier in the day and decided to just wear it under her clothes to practice. I don't fully understand the logistics here, she must have stopped off at home first and dropped some items off and whatnot. But anyhow, after practice, she started to get dressed and she realized she had no underwear.
"I'm not wearing any underwear," she told me.
The feelings this confession provoked in me were definitely NSR, but we won't go into them here.
Anyhow, she said she had to meet a friend at Starbucks and said she hoped her sweater would be enough to prevent any appearance of impropriety. I asked if it was a male or female friend, and she said female, and moreover her friend was chestally gifted. I said that in my opinion, it was no big whoop.
On Friday, our team had decided to go out to a Caribbean restaurant after practice. It was a BYOB place, and so a bunch of the non teetotalers (which I used to be, sadly, am no more) decided to bring really good/exotic beers.
Ursula later confessed to me a Post-It note she had written herself Friday morning so she wouldn't forget.
It read simply: "Bring Delerium and underwear."
(Explanatory note: Delerium Tremens is a brand of beer.)
(At this point, I made an additional comment, referring to a brand of carbohydrate gel Ursula had earlier given me to help prevent hypoglycemic attack mid practice. The product's name, and double entendre overtones, truly do not belong in here, so I shall leave this detail out pending my re-writing of the whole episode, with some poetic license, for resale to the kind of periodical where such anecdotes are a staple.)
Post Script:
On Friday after practice, Ursula got dressed in what I can only assume was a full set of feminine garmentry, seen and unseen. But she said that she had overheard a college swimmer talking on her cell phone in the lockerroom. This young woman was saying, "Thanks a lot. Because of you, I forgot to bring a bra, underwear, and my black shoes."
Evidently, there is a pandemic of this kind of thing happening, and to not discuss it openly will only allow the tragedy to increase.
At this point, please, please, please allow me to have contributed the final posting on a thread I started in the misbegotten hopes of just putting this matter to a vote and end.
