Help me with crawl pls

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!! I can't crawl... OK I need a few tips please: I can do a mile of Breastroke with a 100yd sprint every300yds. I need to get my crawl going for a bit of variety and I stink lol. My technique isn't too bad but I want to get a coach after xmas for a session or two, to really help me get timing down and such. Should I breather every right arm stroke or every 4 (this iswhat I learned as a kid). I am normally gasping after a mere 25yds if I try every 4th. Should I tough it out and keep going until I build up better stamina or give in and take the breath more frequently? Should I try reducing my breastroke distance to say half a mile and then work on crawl in sets, with boards and without etc? Right now I'll do 25 or 50 as a "gasper" after I am warmed up etc... Last question, will I still float after all that turkey, pie and wine?? :D