Swim Rant

The pool was mostly in use by group lessons, so there was only one lap swim lane available. The woman in the lane was placidly grinding out a few million laps. I'm patient, so I waited politely for her to notice me, but this was in vain. She would not acknowledge me, even when I stood in the end of the lane, even when I stood in the end of the lane and waved cheerfully, and even when I crouched in the end of the lane, ducked under the water and waved cheerfully to her underwater. So, I watched her pattern and decided to just join in. She was going in a clockwise circle. Cool. I can do that. I let her get to the other end and then started swimming in the same circle, so that we'd have the most separation. Halfway down the first length, we crashed head-on. She had changed her pattern and had come straight back the same side of the lane she'd gone down. Ouch. Before I could ask her what pattern we should do, she'd resumed swimming. Huh. Okay. Rubbing my head, I completed the length and paused to look back the length of the pool, to see which way she'd be coming. I didn't want to hit her head-on again. She was coming up the right side. (Her right.) Okay, so I'll just swim down my right, I figured. Halfway down the pool, we crashed head-on AGAIN. She had crossed over the center line at some point. Before she could swim away again (what, is her head made of iron?) I accosted her and asked her which pattern she wanted to use-- circle one way, circle the other, or just divide the lane in two? She replied that she hadn't been using any pattern in particular (no ****, I mumbled). It was all I could do not to drown her on the spot. We worked it out and the rest of the practice passed without disruption. But my head hurt all day long. :bitching:

The pool was mostly in use by group lessons, so there was only one lap swim lane available. The woman in the lane was placidly grinding out a few million laps. I'm patient, so I waited politely for her to notice me, but this was in vain. She would not acknowledge me, even when I stood in the end of the lane, even when I stood in the end of the lane and waved cheerfully, and even when I crouched in the end of the lane, ducked under the water and waved cheerfully to her underwater. So, I watched her pattern and decided to just join in. She was going in a clockwise circle. Cool. I can do that. I let her get to the other end and then started swimming in the same circle, so that we'd have the most separation. Halfway down the first length, we crashed head-on. She had changed her pattern and had come straight back the same side of the lane she'd gone down. Ouch. Before I could ask her what pattern we should do, she'd resumed swimming. Huh. Okay. Rubbing my head, I completed the length and paused to look back the length of the pool, to see which way she'd be coming. I didn't want to hit her head-on again. She was coming up the right side. (Her right.) Okay, so I'll just swim down my right, I figured. Halfway down the pool, we crashed head-on AGAIN. She had crossed over the center line at some point. Before she could swim away again (what, is her head made of iron?) I accosted her and asked her which pattern she wanted to use-- circle one way, circle the other, or just divide the lane in two? She replied that she hadn't been using any pattern in particular (no ****, I mumbled). It was all I could do not to drown her on the spot. We worked it out and the rest of the practice passed without disruption. But my head hurt all day long. :bitching: