here you go, the thread you've been waiting for
SWIM RANT
RANT to your hearts content about aspects of
SWIMMING and SWIMMERS that bug YOU
I encourage you to be good natured and hilarious
you may find it cathartic
Ande
At some stage we have to move beyond ranting or we cogitate in a state of helplessness.
Heres what I implement in my lane(my lane is always the one with the warm water outlets -so stay out).
Problem A. Slow male with large muscular but inflexible body enters lane and pushes off just in front -he beleives his superior body and faster arm motion will keep him there.
Solution.Swim medium freestyle for 50 meters then push off just behind him,gain momentum,pull directly up behind and go right under his body but turn onto back as you swim below and look up smiling.Use freestyle kick then one large pull and twist and exit in front and resume medium pace freestyle.Ego damage is drastic and he wont recover.80% move over to next lane.
Problem B.Slow female enters lane and swims continually without allowing you to pass at ends.Line them up at the half way point of a lap and gently swim up the inside of them(the wrong side).They'll be confused but often they wont move the first time.Wait 2 more laps and then repeat for maximum effect.They appear not to be confused the second time and move over immediately.
Problem C.Reasonably fast swimmer wants to sit on your feet and prove his worth.OK under most circumstances but if he has pushed off in front or wont stop to let you pass then he must be moved on.Stop at one end and wait for him.Push off in front and swim slow backstroke.Allow him to think he can overtake but steadily increase speed and keep his pace high until he has to stop.Then immediately swim a lap butterfly to finish the ego damage.Think of it this way.Your'e helping him get fit and if he doesn't want that he'll move over.
I have solutions for all other problems that can occur.Many are only used under extreme cicumstances.All have been tested.
At some stage we have to move beyond ranting or we cogitate in a state of helplessness.
Heres what I implement in my lane(my lane is always the one with the warm water outlets -so stay out).
Problem A. Slow male with large muscular but inflexible body enters lane and pushes off just in front -he beleives his superior body and faster arm motion will keep him there.
Solution.Swim medium freestyle for 50 meters then push off just behind him,gain momentum,pull directly up behind and go right under his body but turn onto back as you swim below and look up smiling.Use freestyle kick then one large pull and twist and exit in front and resume medium pace freestyle.Ego damage is drastic and he wont recover.80% move over to next lane.
Problem B.Slow female enters lane and swims continually without allowing you to pass at ends.Line them up at the half way point of a lap and gently swim up the inside of them(the wrong side).They'll be confused but often they wont move the first time.Wait 2 more laps and then repeat for maximum effect.They appear not to be confused the second time and move over immediately.
Problem C.Reasonably fast swimmer wants to sit on your feet and prove his worth.OK under most circumstances but if he has pushed off in front or wont stop to let you pass then he must be moved on.Stop at one end and wait for him.Push off in front and swim slow backstroke.Allow him to think he can overtake but steadily increase speed and keep his pace high until he has to stop.Then immediately swim a lap butterfly to finish the ego damage.Think of it this way.Your'e helping him get fit and if he doesn't want that he'll move over.
I have solutions for all other problems that can occur.Many are only used under extreme cicumstances.All have been tested.
