This was in today's "Dear Abby" column in the paper:
DEAR ABBY: I am a 55-year-old female who competes in triathlons for fun, fitness and health. I consulted my doctor because I was having foot pain. When I told him I was a runner and was preparing for a marathon race, his response was, "At your age, you could hardly call it a race."
I was shocked. I repeated the insulting comment to my husband, who has never supported me in this nor attended my races. He replied, "Well, you don't actually consider yourself an athlete, do you?"
I am so offended that I want to dismiss both my doctor and my husband. I just finished a race with 5,000 women. Every one of them was fabulous and serious, no matter how old or what they looked like. It was the spirit of the sport that mattered. At what age does one stop being an athlete? -- OLDER ATHLETE, EUGENE, ORE.
This raised some interesting questions in my mind about support, encouragement, or the lack thereof. I don't want to discuss the "athlete-yes-or-no" question. Instead, I'd like to know how people out there deal with non-supportive spouses, friends, co-workers, doctors, etc.
My own experience includes being teased by my co-workers for "getting beat by a 70-year-old woman." (This was after a big meet where they viewed my results on the Internet.) This came from men who are at least 50 pounds overweight and can barely walk from their cars to their desks.
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I was happy to see this thread because I have a non-supportive spouse. I find it mentally exhausting to deal with the negativity surrounding my going to the pool...and once I'm there, I find it physically exhausting! But the physical aspect is good.
As a reply to the thread question "How do you deal with a non-supportive spouse/doc/friend"...I echo someone else's reply of "just keep doing what makes you feel good". I'd also think about changing doctors, or at least finding a sports minded doctor for injuries and overuse problems.
I've gone over and over why my husband does not support my swimming. I think it has to do with a number of issues - not all of which may apply to him, but they are possibilities you may consider. Knowing why there is an issue is often the first part of solving the issue! Here's my list:
1. Jealousy - you're hanging around some fit sleek speedo swathed bodies. (Despite the fact that goggle rings around the eyes, bathing caps, nose plugs and the post-workout chlorine nasal drip are not usually on the "how to be glamourous" lists.) And besides any physical attraction, there's a mental connection that training partners/lane mates make that is unique and cherished, hence jealousy can be a by-product.
2. Insecurity - you are fit or getting fit and he/she is not.
3. Resentment - you're off "having fun" and he/she is doing the dishes, putting the kids to bed, etc. And meets? They take entire weekends...
4. Financial While swimming is cheap, as far as sports go (try skiing, triathalons, mountain biking....) any hit on a family's finances is bound to create negative vibes at some time.
I do know there are no easy answers. (Or if there are, let me know!) But I plan to swim on and on and on, and urge you to do the same with your triathalons. Good luck!!
I was happy to see this thread because I have a non-supportive spouse. I find it mentally exhausting to deal with the negativity surrounding my going to the pool...and once I'm there, I find it physically exhausting! But the physical aspect is good.
As a reply to the thread question "How do you deal with a non-supportive spouse/doc/friend"...I echo someone else's reply of "just keep doing what makes you feel good". I'd also think about changing doctors, or at least finding a sports minded doctor for injuries and overuse problems.
I've gone over and over why my husband does not support my swimming. I think it has to do with a number of issues - not all of which may apply to him, but they are possibilities you may consider. Knowing why there is an issue is often the first part of solving the issue! Here's my list:
1. Jealousy - you're hanging around some fit sleek speedo swathed bodies. (Despite the fact that goggle rings around the eyes, bathing caps, nose plugs and the post-workout chlorine nasal drip are not usually on the "how to be glamourous" lists.) And besides any physical attraction, there's a mental connection that training partners/lane mates make that is unique and cherished, hence jealousy can be a by-product.
2. Insecurity - you are fit or getting fit and he/she is not.
3. Resentment - you're off "having fun" and he/she is doing the dishes, putting the kids to bed, etc. And meets? They take entire weekends...
4. Financial While swimming is cheap, as far as sports go (try skiing, triathalons, mountain biking....) any hit on a family's finances is bound to create negative vibes at some time.
I do know there are no easy answers. (Or if there are, let me know!) But I plan to swim on and on and on, and urge you to do the same with your triathalons. Good luck!!
