This topic does not involve swimming AT all ... sorry ... I cannot stand my co-worker! She drives me crazy. First of all, I work in a very small law firm. There a total of eight employees. Four attorneys (one is part time), two secretaries, an errand boy (aka the head partner’s son), and myself. We have an open office sans cubicles. So there is NO escape. Moving on ... we are a very busy firm. Normally we have a couple of law clerks but right now we don’t. So most of the extra work falls on me. We don’t really have carved out jobs really we all kind of do everything. Though we do all have things that only we do. The annoying co-worker complains non-stop all day long. Seriously. Either she doesn’t have enough to do or the guys ask her to do stuff and she flips out “I don’t have time for this. I can’t handle this right now.” She complains about everything she is asked to do. She complains and/or comments on every phone call she answers. She gets all snippy with me and has basically told me that if I keep eating the way I do (I snack on healthy things all day) that I am going to get fat, so I should enjoy it while I can get away with it. She talks endlessly about how her son is in marching band and how that is the most important thing EVER, how hard it is and how much time it takes up ... I want to yell, do you know how many hours a week I spent in a gym in high school? Like, 30! AH! I can’t take it. I seriously want to yell SHUT UP! Everyone is busy and no one cares. She is a drama queen to the max. She is ALWAYS in pain, her knee, her back, she has a headache, a stomach ache, a cold ... she hasn’t been here everyday all day for two weeks since I started in September. It drives me crazy. I am really afraid that one day I’ll just blurt out shut up you whiney wench! Gr! Do any of you have annoying co-workers and how do you deal with it? Thanks!
Usually, I am not a complainer I swear, and I do see the irony of complaining about someone complaining.
Former Member
Originally posted by Kira
... She kept glaring at me & wouldn't leave. Finally, she threw her hands up in a "wanna fight?!" manner & demanded, "What?!?" I told her, "I don't know. You're glaring at me." She muttered something under her breath & stormed out. I was shaking and panicked
Here in Maryland, it would be considered attempted assault (verbal threat). Of course, don't threaten her back a/k/a Clint Eastwood style (make my day).
Heather's and Sonic's advice is excellent. However, if she threatens/attempts to threaten you again, I would would refer this to your local law enforcement department. Also, I'd be extra careful when you are at home, especially when you get out of your car, etc.
Thank you all for the great advice. I have been documenting everything. My only thought on a police report was as some sort of possible "evidence" of my fear should I get fired for being the complainer. I like my job & my other co-workers & there are many other reasons I would want to stay here. I'd hate to have to leave b/c of ONE person. Plus, I need a job w/ medical benefits since I'm still, essentially, being treated for cancer.
HR is back in the office today, so we'll see what happens (if anything). Hopefully, this will be resolved today. I think the only solution is to fire her, but we'll see what they do.
I'll let you know. thanks for the support. :)
Posted by Bud
"If you find it at all possible to confront this person, do so in the most non-threatening way possible, and see if you can get answers to questions like "Why is it inappropriate for me to have discussions with my co-workers?" etc. Of course you want witnesses around. Confronting them immediately at the occurrence of the inappropriate behavior is best, if you can think that fast on your feet while under such duress. Maybe you could enlist the help of others for this approach, but the person may then feel as if they are being ganged up on and cause them to dig in deeper and snarl louder. If you've already tried this and gotten nowhere, then you definitely need a mediator."
I totally agree with Bud, try to confront her immediately after she says something to you, try and have your reply ready for another snap from her, that way you won't be trying to think of exactly what to say, while you're nervous etc... Also having another co-worker present when this happens is very helpful as well.. and again, if this hasn't or doesn't work, get help from HR..
I am also surprised they haven't done anything, though perhaps since it IS a law firm, they may feel as though they need proof that this woman is hostile before they fire someone. Have other people complained about this woman as well? and if so, to what extent?...
Another issue.. the fact that they simply dismissed your first inquiry as... "oh she's just spoiled" and didn't give any reference as to how and deal with the situation, or any indication that they would talk with her about it makes me wonder what's up?.... Is this woman's family a chief founder of the firm or something? why would they keep an employee like that?
anyway.. good luck with this, our thoughts are with you!
Jeanette.
Well, HR was back yesterday & towards the end of the day, I asked her if she'd had a chance to talk to the OA. She said no, but that they were meeting later & she "suspected" they would talk about it.
This is insane. This person harrasses others here too. I don't know. I was stunned that she wasn't fired yesterday. I'm giving it 'til this afternoon & then I'll probably go back to HR. I can't believe that a law firm would risk keeping an employee who is, in my opinion, breaking the law.
I'll let you know what happens. It's nice to get away from the crazies & be with a healthy group here. ;)
Pat says:
1)Contact your supervisor and explain that there is HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT (use those words) that exists at the workplace and that you request that your supervisor remedy the situation.
2)Further, let your supervisor know that this hostile work environment is causing you undue stress which is affecting your professional and personal life.
3)If the above two do not make a lawyer cringe and immediately remedy the situation notify them that you will seek CIVIL RECOURSE (use those words) and ask them to detail the steps that they have taken to improve the situation.
4)People have successfully sued supervisors who have allowed hostile work environs to continue after the worker has put them on notice and requested their help; lawyers understand this.
5)Outside the workplace, if she continues to bug you, you can seek a restraining order through Contra Costa Superior Court in Martinez. If she violates it, Pat (or some similarly dressed gentleman) will come and arrest her.
6)Have two chocolate chip cookies and call me in the morning :p
Patrick Duggan
With due respect, the phrase "hostile work environment" refers to one of the two forms of sexual harassment, the other being "quid pro quo." An case for a hostile work environment can be made when a plaintiff establishes that s/he has been subjected to a "hostile work environment" because of their sex. In the broader picture, the words themselves don't mean squat absent some form of harassment or discrimination based on a protected characteristic such as gender, race, sexual orientation, religion, national origin, disability, medical condition, age or any other recognized and protected characteristic.
Now, work related stress could lead to a workers comp claim. Moreover, the employer has an obligation to provide a workplace safe from violence.
But . . . having nasty co-workers does not give rise to a civil action nor does an ineffective boss or HR department that is sticks his/her/its head in the sand while ignoring interpersonal problems. It may be unpleasant, but it is not actionable.
Originally posted by Sonic Swimmer78
Amen to that, Heather!
Sounds like the folks that Kira works with are just as immature as the girl in question to deal with such a delicate subject.
Maybe she (the girl in question) is the Law firm's founder's daughter? If so, that's called FAVORITISM.
Gah! I hate it when that happens!
It never seems to fail that there's a "fair haired" employee in the office who gets (but doesn't deserve) preferential treatment and gets away with anything. Got one in my office as well. :(
Who's to say Kira's poor treatment isn't because of her sex? Maybe it's because she's female (jealousy, etc). She hasn't said whether this woman bothers any men (equal opportunity b&#@!)
My husband is WCPD and that is how they would handle it...
It is obviously a hostile work environment, perhaps not by a legal definition, but it is hostile!
OK, here's my update for all those following this miserable drama. HR & the OA just spoke to me (they spoke to my bully yesterday). I was told that she admitted her behavior, but said I was at fault for it. She asked them to tell me to stop talking to her (I don't say anything unless it's the last resort & business related) so that's what they did.
I told them I felt they dropped the ball on this. That 40+ days of harrassment was inexcusable & I questioned if it were a male co-worker doing this to me would this be the same result or what if she were harrassing a male co-worker? I said I felt this was dismissed b/c we're "hysterical" women & that I was disappointed & frustrated that I was told to accept her bahavior b/c she was young, immature, & spoiled. The OA shot a stunned look @ HR (I didn't think he knew she'd told me that). I told them she was a bully & a liar & she put on her sweetsie act for them, but things weren't going to change. I explained I dreaded coming to work here. I asked if she could please use only the back door & they said no. That would be discrimination. Well, I expressed my disappointment @ this "resolution" & they said they would check back in a week to see if things were better & ended the mtg.
I'm exhausted. Thanks to all who have given advice (I'm still documenting & I have my pepper spray). I'm going to try to focus on the positive, keep working on my classes so I can leave this "cuckoo's nest", and go to the pool for a hard workout with GOOD people. :cool:
