I was surfing the web for my swimming class to find a couple of articles on swimming, when I came across an anecdote that was so funny I almost died laughing:
I teach group and private swim lessons at our local Y and am constantly amazed and entertained by the comments from the kids. Last year, little Ben, 5 years old, was swimming backstroke, eyes to the ceiling, goggles bigger than his head, blonde hair falling in his face. I'm watching from the side, signaling to kick and streamline. All of a sudden he yells out "Miss Barbara!""What Ben?" I reply, still making kicking motions with my arms. And loudly comes this little voice echoing throughout the pool "I want to eat you like a strawberry!". I thought the lifeguards were going to fall out of their chairs. What could I say? "Keep kicking Ben, just keep kicking!"
I didn't use this for my class (it's not copyrighted by the way, and it's not my personal story), but it made me realize that there's got to be a lot more swimming humour out there.
(Of course I could mention the time where I smashed my head twice in one lap swimming backstroke. They moved the backstroke flags!)
I'm interested to hear more...
Former Member
This happened in 1995 when I was coaching a summer league swim team.
It was nearing the end of the season, and we were having the kids swim non-stop for 15 minutes (circle swimming, mind you). The kids had to swim back, free, or *** and were not allowed to touch the bottom of the pool. We weren't lucky enough to have real lane lines... we had ropes with small buoys on them (you know the ones that pools have to seperate the shallow and deep ends). Anyways, with about 2 minutes left to go, the other coach and I noticed that one of our older swimmers was getting tired and he switched to swimming ***. He was in lane 5 and started creeping over onto the other side of the lane... he was then swimming down the wrong side, he took another stroke... went under and then popped up in lane 4, kept creeping over... then he was in lane 3, 2, and then 1. Our mouths dropped to the floor. The swimmer touched the wall and realized that he was now in lane 1. He looked up at us and we just lost it. The best part about it is that we have it on video tape... another swimmer wanted us to tape the team doing different things that week... I always giggle when I think of that day!
when I was about 12 or 13 years old I arrived at early morning practice one day in my sweats ready to go (and half asleep) ....so I took my sweats off as usual and got up on the blocks to dive in when one of the girls on our team said..."Don't you think you forgot something Jim?"....I looked down and I was standing on the blocks in my tighty whities....I'm glad she said something before I dove in ...b/c those things would have flown right off of me when I hit the water!!.....I probably turned 5 shades of red and then I calmy went back to put my sweats back on......I think I just skipped practice that morning...It's all a blurr after the initial embarressment!
newmastersswimmer
Nearly 30 years ago I was coaching a summer-league team in a small town in Oregon. I remember one dual meet where the first event was an 8-and-under 100 yard medley relay. The start of the meet was delayed while the opposition coach got her swimmers arranged at the proper ends of the pool. The gun finally went off and all four swimmers started simultaneously. I had to leave the deck because I was laughing so hard.
Age group and summer club meets always provide entertainment. One tiny little thing jumps in to swim a 25 back stroke and the sun is shining in her sweet little eyes. As she furiously paddles, she ends up sideways in the lane going nowhere and paddling with all her might until a coach jumped in and straigtened her out.
This happened today at my workout... actually two things. We were doing timed sets and using the blocks. when I got on my block, I was standing on top of it and I started singing (and at one point started to do dancing arm motions) one of my parodies about the blocks. I stopped singing in the middle and one of my teammates said "Don't stop, I think it sounds cute!" and she and I started chuckling. on another timed drill, I got on my block and my formation was a bit off and I flopped (BIG TIME!) and tried to catch up with my team mates, but while I was swimming (Breaststroke) and for every stoke I let out a high pitch Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...
My 6 year old granddaughter's first 100 IM... she forgot the backstroke length (strange because that's her best stroke)... jumped out of the pool (at the wrong end of course) thinking she had won. She was very upset when she was DQed.
I was sad to see that no more stories were posted since my last one!!! I thought this forum would have tons of posts! Anyways, I have another one that makes me laugh.
I always make fun of my friend b/c of this... she is NOT a backstroker and here is the story.
We were at an invitational in Tennessee and there was a 15 min. pause for warm-ups... and my friend got in again to work on her back flip turn (she was so cute in her swim cap b/c she had so much hair and it made her look like a conehead). I was sitting with my parents and I just looked at the pool for a moment and noticed that she was about to try another turn. She was a few feet away from the flags when she started (good backstrokers take about 2 or 3 strokes after you hit the flags for the flip turn)... I started counting her strokes... she took 4, then 5... (at this point I knew she went too far), then she took anohter one (6!), she turned onto her stomach and immediately smashed her face into the gutter! I almost peed my pants, she looked so funny... she looked up at me because she heard me laughing and she started to crack up... amazingly, she didn't hurt herself or get a concussion... maybe it was the conehead that hit and cushioned the blow.
To this day I still tease her by counting from 1 to 6.
Once, while swimming in a BC championships with my former club (in a different city), one of our older swimmers decided that he would indeed swim the 1500 that he had entered after all. We all cheered for him each lap, his lap counter was our coach, earnestly exhorting him onward. In his enthusiasm, our coach miscounted, signalling the final 75metres (sc) too early... sure enough, a sprint ensued with a splashy touch at the end. No, the timers shook their heads, you've got two laps left! Well, a profanity rung out from our very proper British retired school teacher and off he went for 50m more...and split faster (by quite a bit) than he had for his first final 50. Much hilarity ensued, but for some reason our coach made himself scarce...
I was teaching little kids about 40 years ago. We were in the deep end and I was holding a pole and having the kids - one at a time - jump in and swim to the pole and then swim back to the wall and get out. One little kid jumped in and swam competently towards the pole and then started to go under, flailing his arms and gurgling. He wouldn't grasp the pole so I jumped in to bring him to the side. I said, "Why didn't you just turn around and swim back?" Very calm now, he said: "I forgot."
I've been laughing at that ever since.
It must have happened in the '80's. I was swimming a 200y Fly at a Masters meet. You know how sometimes your body knows when it's gone the correct distance? I got to the 150, finished with a strong two-hand touch and my body said, "That's it!" My friend, Steve, who was timing leaned over and said, "Uh, ***, did you forget something?" I looked as others in my heat were turning. . .swore and got out. My body felt, you know, done.
Later in the meet I had to swim the 50y fly. There were about six guys at the other end holding up a counter displaying "1" and yelled at me when I turned at the 25. I laughed all the way to the finish. Occasionally they still do that to me. No PB's that day!
