People have tried to make it clear to you, Ion, that you will not be recognized by USMS or SWIM magazine unless you swim a lot faster. They have also tried to point out, in a nutshell, that your attitude comes across as sour grapes.
I am going to postulate that you would like to be recognized for overcoming whatever it is you have overcome. SWIM magazine doesn't have the space to do it. And they certainly don't have the manpower (interviewers and photographers) to cover every story there is to tell, especially in regard to overcoming adversity.
So, here it is. I wish everyone would take the chance to tell their stories. Think of it as a SWIM web page for sharing of personal histories.
I know Tom Ellison has an amazing story that I wish he would put here. I know of many other swimmers who have overcome tremendous adversity. I hope this thread will become an inspiration to us all, and that we will all realize, as I have lately, that: looking at the past can be painful, so don't (as long as you don't repeat it!), who knows what the future holds, so quit worrying about it, and be happy in the present because it's the only thing you really have control over.
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Former Member
Originally posted by lefty
is quite interesting. I think that some of the criticisms are meant to help steer ION in the right direction, but mostly "the consequences" of which you speak are directionless pointed middle fingers meant only to appease the temporary anger that ION draws up in all of us.
Well, some people are able to channel their anger or frustration into constructive criticisam. Others are not.
There is purpose for both. Perhaps like a good cop-bad cop routine. Some people may benefit from getting feedback on both fronts.
Accepting people for what they are is not consitent with appealing to them to 'raise to the occasion'.
I have real truoble with accepting Ion the way he is, and not accepting others the way they are. Why should Ion be let off the hook at the expense of invalidating feelings of number of other people? Especially if they're 'nicer' and being held in higher regard?
If anything, it is a lot less work accepting many other people the way they are, then it is accepting Ion the way he is. I don't particularly want to invest that much emotional energy into interacting with someone like that, on a rather social level (this group). If I was at work, and he was my boss or a coworker, I'd have to style flex to him in order to get along and get the work done. In my free time... I get to choose.
I would prefer to be consistent with hiw Ion sees himself, he claims to be superior, and I'll go along with it, and hold him to a higher standard then the rest of us "lowly lazy USMS cohorts", hold him to a standard that he say he is at.
I think it is very unfair to ask the 'nice' people to carry the emotional burden of Ions behavior, while making special consideration for him. Why? To keep the peace?
Is it so important to keep the peace, that it has to be at the emotional expense of the nice people in here? Does the display of emotion make you feel uneasy and uncomfortable?
I understand your point, but I don't completely agree with it.
I think it's safe to say most of the people here thought of 'backing off' before you mentioned it, and the emotion was too strong to push away.
Those who had the emotional strenght to back off and 'be a better man' as you said, already did, before you brought it up. Others... who may have gotten more upset or hurt, or whatever, will only feel judged and invalidated by your appeals to be 'the better person'.
Yeah, the same was happening with Ion, and his feelings, as much as he would hate to admit it.
Asking people to 'stuff it' creates an uneasy truce, and on the long run perpetuates the conflict because invalidated feelings tend to pile up.
If you want peace, you need to come up with a more of a win/win situation, rather than asking the 'nicer' people to give in, which is a losing proposition to them.
As for what you're hoping people will be, or how they'll behave... that's another setup for disappointment. Have fewer expectations, and observe more.
Pointless bickering that your'e seeing, it's not so pointless, you're seeing people's emotional defense mechanisams at work. Anger stems from hurt feelings, and aggresion (bickering and counterattacks) are a pretty basic defense mechanisam to remove the source of the hurt. On both parts, Ions and the 'opposition'.
Originally posted by lefty
is quite interesting. I think that some of the criticisms are meant to help steer ION in the right direction, but mostly "the consequences" of which you speak are directionless pointed middle fingers meant only to appease the temporary anger that ION draws up in all of us.
Well, some people are able to channel their anger or frustration into constructive criticisam. Others are not.
There is purpose for both. Perhaps like a good cop-bad cop routine. Some people may benefit from getting feedback on both fronts.
Accepting people for what they are is not consitent with appealing to them to 'raise to the occasion'.
I have real truoble with accepting Ion the way he is, and not accepting others the way they are. Why should Ion be let off the hook at the expense of invalidating feelings of number of other people? Especially if they're 'nicer' and being held in higher regard?
If anything, it is a lot less work accepting many other people the way they are, then it is accepting Ion the way he is. I don't particularly want to invest that much emotional energy into interacting with someone like that, on a rather social level (this group). If I was at work, and he was my boss or a coworker, I'd have to style flex to him in order to get along and get the work done. In my free time... I get to choose.
I would prefer to be consistent with hiw Ion sees himself, he claims to be superior, and I'll go along with it, and hold him to a higher standard then the rest of us "lowly lazy USMS cohorts", hold him to a standard that he say he is at.
I think it is very unfair to ask the 'nice' people to carry the emotional burden of Ions behavior, while making special consideration for him. Why? To keep the peace?
Is it so important to keep the peace, that it has to be at the emotional expense of the nice people in here? Does the display of emotion make you feel uneasy and uncomfortable?
I understand your point, but I don't completely agree with it.
I think it's safe to say most of the people here thought of 'backing off' before you mentioned it, and the emotion was too strong to push away.
Those who had the emotional strenght to back off and 'be a better man' as you said, already did, before you brought it up. Others... who may have gotten more upset or hurt, or whatever, will only feel judged and invalidated by your appeals to be 'the better person'.
Yeah, the same was happening with Ion, and his feelings, as much as he would hate to admit it.
Asking people to 'stuff it' creates an uneasy truce, and on the long run perpetuates the conflict because invalidated feelings tend to pile up.
If you want peace, you need to come up with a more of a win/win situation, rather than asking the 'nicer' people to give in, which is a losing proposition to them.
As for what you're hoping people will be, or how they'll behave... that's another setup for disappointment. Have fewer expectations, and observe more.
Pointless bickering that your'e seeing, it's not so pointless, you're seeing people's emotional defense mechanisams at work. Anger stems from hurt feelings, and aggresion (bickering and counterattacks) are a pretty basic defense mechanisam to remove the source of the hurt. On both parts, Ions and the 'opposition'.
