Ultimate Swim Times

Originally posted by kaelonj So on a more serious side - would I be able to qualify for the Bloomin Idiot category (though not sure if It would be the late bloomin idiot or early bloomin idiot) Lets not forget the most useful use of the VO2 max shampoo and its theoretical use, allowing a swimmer to actually travel back into time, someone could go back 30+ years and look up Ion in Romania and tell him to quit soccer and start swimming - then we would be able to see what happens ! Now I have a headache - I hit my head on my desk when I fell off laughing!:D

I understand that VO2 Max produces this nasty side effect in men (primarily Eastern Europeans) where you find yourself berating competitors DURING the start for being fat, slow, lazy Southern, American-born, inferior bozos. Then, there's that brutal "gender-blending" phenomenom where you start comparing stats and competing against women. At some point, I believe you start wearing a banana-yellow bikini Speedo, a front snorkel in meets, start breathing EVERY stroke and doing open turns b/c of the increased O2 you get to your hair folicles; at that point the chemical reaction is complete. Does this company need a National Sales Manager? I have experience with all the top grocery, drug and mass chains in addition to WalMart and Costco. I can send a resume wherever. Does their San Diego spokesperson need an agent?

Oh, one other thing: if you START swimming in your 20's (classifying you as a "late-bloomer,") but retire in your 40's or 50's, are you then reclassified as an "UN-bloomer." Also, when would you be a "NON-bloomer?" (Maybe late 20's start, never heard of technique, missed the soccer calling, couldn't see the top-10 with a space shuttle?) Who is responsible for the classifications? I don't have mine yet and I paid my monthly dues and really want to start my meetings.

Originally posted by Mark in MD Let's see ... we can have:BloomersEarly Bloomers Mid Bloomers Late Bloomers Early Late Bloomers Early Mid Bloomers Mid Early Bloomers Mid Late Bloomers Late Early Bloomers Mid Early BloomersDid we miss anything here? That was a lot of bloomin' work! :p Hey now, you left out all of us bloomin' girls :( Sheesh! :p

Originally posted by Mark in MD I know what's causing this thread ... ya'll's suits were too tight yesterday when ya'll were swimming. (I can say y'all 'cause I'm south of the Mason-Dixon line. So, there. Tough noogies.) It's the IBS side effect, or perhaps after-effect (the experts had not come to an agreement on that one) - uncontrollable bursts of giggles after a Bloomin' Blunder.

Originally posted by Bert Bergen I understand that VO2 Max produces this nasty side effect in men (primarily Eastern Europeans) where you find yourself berating competitors DURING the start for being fat, slow, lazy Southern, American-born, inferior bozos. Then, there's that brutal "gender-blending" phenomenom where you start comparing stats and competing against women. Maybe it's an Eastern European strain of a combination of Bezerk-Tourettes syndrome, aggravated by late blooming conditions and chlorine sensitivity due to minimum VO2MAX.

Originally posted by Bert Bergen Oh, one other thing: if you START swimming in your 20's (classifying you as a "late-bloomer,") but retire in your 40's or 50's, are you then reclassified as an "UN-bloomer." If you do that, then your bloomer whithers away and falls off. With that in mund, you might have a chance of getting re-classified and compare yourself to late bloomin' girls. ;) :p This thread has me laughing so hard, I have to go peel myself off the floor.

HELP! jfkga;kljgij I jasd;fjaoweijf TRIED dkjfaskdjdfj THE kjsaf;oie VO2MAX d;lkafjoeiwfjo SHAMPOO aosierowjfa DURING al;kdfjaioweuu MY jawoihjv WORKOUT aoijvdlkjaf AND aowiejfg grd I aslkeriouae CAN'T oaiwejgvlkj SEEM a;oisejgoiajewr TO aowiefgow STOP aow;eigfooiwajf ROTATING aoigherwaoiri MY a ;sofn vaowijref ARMS aoweijf;lkwejd.

Originally posted by SWinkleblech HELP! jfkga;kljgij I jasd;fjaoweijf TRIED dkjfaskdjdfj THE kjsaf;oie VO2MAX d;lkafjoeiwfjo SHAMPOO aosierowjfa DURING al;kdfjaioweuu MY jawoihjv WORKOUT aoijvdlkjaf AND aowiejfg grd I aslkeriouae CAN'T oaiwejgvlkj SEEM a;oisejgoiajewr TO aowiefgow STOP aow;eigfooiwajf ROTATING aoigherwaoiri MY a ;sofn vaowijref ARMS aoweijf;lkwejd. :D :D :D :D Stop please! Now not only my coworkers think I have lost my mind, but my wife and kids are looking scared and thinking about leaving me alone for the night!:D :D :D :D :D Just one question? Are your arms rotating in a rotary style or a catch-up style? I just have this image of you sitting at your computer with your arms flailing wildly and I can't stop laughing......

With all this discussion of VO2MAX shampoo I am shocked that no one has mentioned the VO2MAX cream rinse. Use of the cream rinse not only increases the effectiveness of VO2MAX but it also decreases drag by providing a silky smooth finish, while at the same time it improves core strength and flexibility. In addition it prevents a swimmer from becoming entangled in a conversation with one's self when meeting on the return lap. I've also found that the VO2MAX shampoo and cream rinse designed for chemically treated swimmers extremely effective in reducing the ill effects of late blooming.