Ultimate Swim Times

Originally posted by Tom Ellison This is a great theoretical discussion as it pertains to lowering times to a point where it is physically impossible to go any lower. As I posted in a recent thread, I still maintain that using VO2MAX Shampoo could theoretically enable a swimmer to explode off the block and actually finish the race before it starts. I wonder if that's not what happened to Ian Thorpe the other day. Maybe he OD's in VO2MAX Shampoo, exploded of the blocks, and was done with his 400 by the time the timers blinked!!

Originally posted by Scansy Please stop! I can't take it anymore. My co-workers can't figure out why I am rolling around on the floor laughing hysterically!:D :D :D You have it all wrong anyway. My shampoo is called PhelpsMax. It turned me 18 years old again. And faster than I ever imagined possible. It doesn't have the side effects of the VO2Max either - for example Tom having a conversation with himself. Watch out for that ThorpeMax shampoo - the side effects are an uncontrollable urge to fall off the blocks..... I heard that Ionized Popov Potion does some amazing things. It will make you younger in a flash, and you can change sexes as needed. You could win simultaneous imaginary groups. Simply Supernatural!

Don't know if I would try Ionized Popov Potion-probably smells like BS.

Originally posted by nyswim Don't know if I would try Ionized Popov Potion-probably smells like BS. No WAY! :eek: How dare you! I take offense to that you lowly of the low! :mad: I have proof it works, just ask me! I can feel it working! :cool: ;) :p :D

I repeat: Originally posted by Scansy Please stop! I can't take it anymore. My co-workers can't figure out why I am rolling around on the floor laughing hysterically!:D :D :D I think I'm about to lose my job - the boss called me into his office carrying a piece of pink paper.....:p

Originally posted by nyswim Don't know if I would try Ionized Popov Potion-probably smells like BS. I think you mean IBS.

Originally posted by knelson Slightly off this topic (oh yeah, I guess the whole thread has drifted a bit, hasn't it?), but I've often wondered if someone will discover, or I guess invent, a new stroke that is faster than front crawl. Just because crawl is the fastest stroke now, doesn't mean there isn't some other way we could swim that would be faster. Never say never, but... In order to do so, there would be two critical issues that the new form would have to address: 1) decreased resistance 2) greater power It's hard to see either happening because in a good crawl a very minimal surface area (basically the area of the shoulders) is presented in the direction of travel. Decreasing it in any other position in the water seems unlikely. Of course, there are other types of resistance at work but, again, crawl seems to have a best balance between competing necessities. In terms of power generation, bringing the arm in the crawl's direction is a very stong motion. Add to that, the body core's ability to contribute in the crawl and I think it's hard to see anything that might replace it. The other thing that speaks against it is historical: Typically, humans have a pretty good track record of improving performance through discovery of new ways to do things. The crawl has been the unchallenged speed champ for over 100 years and the only changes have been refinements to the technique; not a wholesale change. SO... under the current rules and state of human evolution, I'll bet that we are only looking at refinement to the crawl and not a paradigm shift. -LBJ

Originally posted by Scansy I repeat: I think I'm about to lose my job - the boss called me into his office carrying a piece of pink paper.....:p Hey, all this laughing should give you a great ab (core) workout! Compliments of IBS! I knew eventually I'd find a redeeming quality to it all ;)

I hate to break it to y'all but there are two varieties of V02Max Shampoo, early blooming scent and late blooming scent. I use the early blooming scent as I've been told the late blooming scent is reserved for one person only. Apparently the waiting list is ultra restircted for late blooming and only one person knows the secret way to get to the manufacturing plant where it is made.

If my students thought I was out of my mind before they should think I am know, laughing at this computer. I think I am going to stay away from the IBS. It doesn't sound like it will do me any good but stink up the pool a little.