Ok, here it is. This takes a serious amount of courage for me to post this due to the obvious shame if feel here, but, I think it may help someone out there who is also experiencing the same type of situation..The following is an e-mail I wrote to Jim Thorton reaching out for him for guidance and help in this terrible time.
Jim:
I have not posted in two months now due to my severe depression. My wife of 25 years (whom I love dearly left me on 5 Aug.--no hope for our marriage). I attempted an honest crack at Jerry's way out that night...and one other time. So far this past two months I have spent one 12 day stint in the hospital and another week stint in the hospital attempting to deal with this very, very serious problem. To date, I have been unable to shake this thing. I see no hope for my life and frankly the pain and torment is so great that I really do not give a rat’s rear end about anything at this point. My problem is a simply one. I HATE being locked up..and all these units can do for guys like me is lock us up. Heck, I take Jerry's way any day to the padded cell stuff.
Any suggestions. Currently I am on Celexa and the pain and suffering are horrendous to say the least.
Kindest regards,
Tom Ellison
Parents
Former Member
Sgt
USNR Doc no claim to greatness. Uncle Sam financed my midlife crisis. Repelling down a hill while getting paid is more profitable than buying a red sports car and chasing my lost youth.
68 - 71 you forgotton more than I know. Includes 14 years as a Vol Firefighter.
Roger that on getting through the day as a chore. I found nights were hardest. This is why I did the PT Monster stuff in the AM and the charity work later. You cannot eliminate the silent moments but simply reduce them.
I'm looking at two years being away from my family due to my employer outsourcing my job and transferring me. No ship with 1000 lance criminals in the same position all of us fussin. (Family cannot move for medical reasons)
Able to stall it but the best thing was to create a plan of what I will do when I get there.
1. PT Monster
2. Donate time to groups (no shortage there)
3. do not own a vehicle. Walk to everywhere I go thus burn calories and time and save money. (Since I am married again I could care less about impressing the oppsite sex)
Still did not eliminate the depression of a seperation however when I had a plan I felt better.
It does get better but slowly and you have to assualt through many times to get there.
Do not make any life changing decisions for a year.
Late Marine
Sgt
USNR Doc no claim to greatness. Uncle Sam financed my midlife crisis. Repelling down a hill while getting paid is more profitable than buying a red sports car and chasing my lost youth.
68 - 71 you forgotton more than I know. Includes 14 years as a Vol Firefighter.
Roger that on getting through the day as a chore. I found nights were hardest. This is why I did the PT Monster stuff in the AM and the charity work later. You cannot eliminate the silent moments but simply reduce them.
I'm looking at two years being away from my family due to my employer outsourcing my job and transferring me. No ship with 1000 lance criminals in the same position all of us fussin. (Family cannot move for medical reasons)
Able to stall it but the best thing was to create a plan of what I will do when I get there.
1. PT Monster
2. Donate time to groups (no shortage there)
3. do not own a vehicle. Walk to everywhere I go thus burn calories and time and save money. (Since I am married again I could care less about impressing the oppsite sex)
Still did not eliminate the depression of a seperation however when I had a plan I felt better.
It does get better but slowly and you have to assualt through many times to get there.
Do not make any life changing decisions for a year.
Late Marine
