Ok, here it is. This takes a serious amount of courage for me to post this due to the obvious shame if feel here, but, I think it may help someone out there who is also experiencing the same type of situation..The following is an e-mail I wrote to Jim Thorton reaching out for him for guidance and help in this terrible time.
Jim:
I have not posted in two months now due to my severe depression. My wife of 25 years (whom I love dearly left me on 5 Aug.--no hope for our marriage). I attempted an honest crack at Jerry's way out that night...and one other time. So far this past two months I have spent one 12 day stint in the hospital and another week stint in the hospital attempting to deal with this very, very serious problem. To date, I have been unable to shake this thing. I see no hope for my life and frankly the pain and torment is so great that I really do not give a rat’s rear end about anything at this point. My problem is a simply one. I HATE being locked up..and all these units can do for guys like me is lock us up. Heck, I take Jerry's way any day to the padded cell stuff.
Any suggestions. Currently I am on Celexa and the pain and suffering are horrendous to say the least.
Kindest regards,
Tom Ellison
Tom Ellison -
Thank you for having the strength and fortitude to step out from the sterotypic "shame" of depression. Even in this time of difficulty you show you are a leader. The Medical types in this discussion can shed light on my point:
Please keep swimming!
There was a period when I had lost my job, lost my relationship of 3 years (who then took our dog) and faced a future of uncertainty . It was my lowest point in my life. Amongst my friends providing me support was my RN mother who paid for my YMCA membership and begged me to swim again - only one half-hour/day.
Later she explained to me that the light excersize releases nuero-chemicals that help, help people think, focus, and also combat depression. She warned me against going beserk in the pool - to only focus on "cruising" as she put it - feel the water and pay attention to how your body feels as your arm strokes take you from one side to the next. I eventually "trained" myself to focus on that rythym and how it felt to glide through the water.
I am better today - I think in part b/c I swam that measily 800yds/day. I think it slowly helped me change my thinking. But I will never forget that darkness or the hopelessness...
I hope this provides you with some support and guidance along with some of the other contributors. No matter what combination of tools you choose to use (medications, reaching out, humor, light excersize, hobby work), in my mind you already proven you have the tools within you to get through this.
Regards,
Chris Beardsley
Tom Ellison -
Thank you for having the strength and fortitude to step out from the sterotypic "shame" of depression. Even in this time of difficulty you show you are a leader. The Medical types in this discussion can shed light on my point:
Please keep swimming!
There was a period when I had lost my job, lost my relationship of 3 years (who then took our dog) and faced a future of uncertainty . It was my lowest point in my life. Amongst my friends providing me support was my RN mother who paid for my YMCA membership and begged me to swim again - only one half-hour/day.
Later she explained to me that the light excersize releases nuero-chemicals that help, help people think, focus, and also combat depression. She warned me against going beserk in the pool - to only focus on "cruising" as she put it - feel the water and pay attention to how your body feels as your arm strokes take you from one side to the next. I eventually "trained" myself to focus on that rythym and how it felt to glide through the water.
I am better today - I think in part b/c I swam that measily 800yds/day. I think it slowly helped me change my thinking. But I will never forget that darkness or the hopelessness...
I hope this provides you with some support and guidance along with some of the other contributors. No matter what combination of tools you choose to use (medications, reaching out, humor, light excersize, hobby work), in my mind you already proven you have the tools within you to get through this.
Regards,
Chris Beardsley
