Swimming Poetry

I recently had a 50th surprise birthday party here in my hometown of Sewickley, Pa, a couple weeks after long course nationals in Cleveland. One of my Sewickley YMCA teammates, Jim Buskirk, a paint chemist by trade, took the opportunity to write a poem about my increasingly geriatric swimmer's progress, which he read outloud at the festitivities. I think his poem captures the Masters spirit, at least in regards to guys like me, who use every iota of mathematical conversion formulae, suit technology analysis, and so forth, to try to prove to ourselves that a recent swim was, in point of fact, the best of our lives! Anyhow, I hope like-minded individuals might spy a wee bit of themselves in here, and find the poem as enjoyable as I did: SWIM CONVERSIONS Meters to yards, it all makes a difference Jim is world champion if using the proper inference Just 10% more water in meters to yards, Adjusting a swim time is really not hard The effect of the swim suit is commonly known To many who live in Jim's hometown The lack of perfect texture is slowing him here About a half second per hundred, or near The air in Cleveland is not as dense, And this slows him down by several tenths With oxygen content below normal strength, In Sewickley he would gain a least a body length The polluted water in Cleveland has higher viscosity, So for sure in Sewickley he would have higher velocity. While the 200 meter is not yet down to 1:53, There are a few more charts we might want to see. But regardless of how many charts we might need, Jim is always our champion at any speed.