Will he ever improve?

13 is a tough age for boys. Most haven't hit puberty, but most 14 year olds have, and they have to swim against them. So that is working against him, too. Another thing that happens is that at that age, kids rarely improve more than once or twice a year. They get beat up pretty hard, and then they taper for a meet. If he has improved since September, he is doing well. I really don't know what advice to give that doens't involve patience. He has got to be patient. My daughter had swum for 5 years before she got her first AAAA time. Some kids will be naturals, some will be physical freaks. And then there are those who are neither. They have to work hard to get fast, and that work ethic will help them out through swimming, and life. I wish he could talk to this one kid on our team. He is a junior, just starting club swimming last year. My favorite kid on the team. Busts his butt, he drives over an hour every morning......for 5:00AM practice, then gets out a little early to head to school. And he is not fast, but getting faster. He's just happy getting faster, getting state cuts, etc. He knows he won't be setting team records, but he is having fun, and improving. He has set PERSONAL goals, rather than goals relative to others. Maybe that's the best thing to tell your son. Make the goals about him, not his peers. Once he does that, maybe it'll get more fun. And when it does, more success will come.

Hi swimmom, thanks for sharing your son's story with us! If you haven't done so already, your first step should be to talk with your son's coach and find out more about the coach's perspective on what he can do to improve. If you already spoke with the coach (and the response is why you turned to the forum), what did you discover? You're lucky that your son loves swimming and wants to improve and that this is all coming from him and his own drive and motivation. He's impatient about his rate of improvement, and the best way that you can give him the support and attention he needs is to educate yourself about the sport as much as you can. Knowledge is power - the more you learn about swimming, the better-placed you will be to help your son. Swimming is certainly no easy sport. A great deal of it is technique-based and humans are not born swimmers - we have to learn how to swim and it does not come naturally. Although it may be argued that swimmers are better off if they learn to swim at a very early age, there are quite a few excellent swimmers and even Olympians (such as Ed Moses) who got a late start to the sport. Again, knowledge is power. Figure out what strokes your son enjoys, which strokes he is weaker at. Try to learn some drills to develop his technique - consider attending a stroke clinic or camp for age groupers where you can both learn. Improvement takes persistence, knowledge and patience. Hopefully your son will continue to enjoy the sport and eventually will excel. Good luck to you both!

I just listened to a fairly interesting podcast featuring Olympic swimmer Conor Dwyer. Although he comes from an athletic family, he was a late bloomer. Not recruited out of high school. 5'9" (to his current 6'5"). It may help provide some perspective with respect to persistence, patience and provide a real world juxtaposition between early success and a longer journey. findingmastery.net/.../

13 is a tough age for boys. Most haven't hit puberty, but most 14 year olds have, and they have to swim against them. So that is working against him, too. Another thing that happens is that at that age, kids rarely improve more than once or twice a year. They get beat up pretty hard, and then they taper for a meet. If he has improved since September, he is doing well. I really don't know what advice to give that doens't involve patience. He has got to be patient. My daughter had swum for 5 years before she got her first AAAA time. Some kids will be naturals, some will be physical freaks. And then there are those who are neither. They have to work hard to get fast, and that work ethic will help them out through swimming, and life. I wish he could talk to this one kid on our team. He is a junior, just starting club swimming last year. My favorite kid on the team. Busts his butt, he drives over an hour every morning......for 5:00AM practice, then gets out a little early to head to school. And he is not fast, but getting faster. He's just happy getting faster, getting state cuts, etc. He knows he won't be setting team records, but he is having fun, and improving. He has set PERSONAL goals, rather than goals relative to others. Maybe that's the best thing to tell your son. Make the goals about him, not his peers. Once he does that, maybe it'll get more fun. And when it does, more success will come. Started lat as a kid about 21/2 as novice. Swimmer league with winter swing. at age 12, now there are some gals that made the natonal team starting that late but I think maybe I could have been 2 secnds faster if I started at 9 or 10. I went from about 1:25 100 yard breaststroke as a 13 to 1:23 and from a 1:18 100 yard butterfly to 1:13. So, you can improve a little at 13,

Oh man, I relate to your son so much. I'm also a late-bloomer and went from zero athletic experience to obsessed with swimming in the span of my last couple years in high school. I think it's really impressive and encouraging that your son's motivation seems to be intrinsic - yes, he might be hard on himself or discouraged at times, but from how you describe him it sounds like he really wants to swim because this is something he loves and wants to improve at. It's also really good that it sounds like he has an accurate perception of his performance - that's hard to do, I know when I first started I over or underestimated my abilities. An accurate perception of your current performance is key to achieving your future goals. Overall, if he loves it and wants to get better at it, it sounds like swimming will have a positive impact on his life, in fact, overcoming and facing the struggles may help build resilience and true commitment. Even when I was of the slowest swimmers on my HS team, and I struggled with guilt and shame about my underperformance compared to my HS peers, swimming still had a highly positive impact on my life because, good or bad, I was able to live out something I loved. "If something is worth doing, it's worth doing badly." Is a quote I adore that is relevant here. I loved my swimmer identity and loved the version of myself willing to put in hard work even for minimal results. Swimming was worth my time, $, energy, and emotions, and if being a slow swimmer was what it took to be a swimmer, that's what I had to take. And while gradual, I did start to marginally improve my times. I improved the most by having seasons of real ambition and nose-to-the-grindstone work ethic... followed up by bouts of rest and putting my swimming into a greater perspective in my life. Some days I was a hardworking swimmer. Some days I was just me, and it was not necessary to align swimming performance with identity. The former kept me going and improving. The latter kept me forgiving and realistic. I'm still battling the insecurities and guilt that comes with not being as good as your peers, and being hard on yourself when you're new enough to not be experienced; but not new enough that your novice status can waive your lack of ability and skill. What has worked for me best is keeping it all in perspective. Even as a young adult, this is difficult to do some days. It's important to remember that discouragement and set-backs are part of ANY process, relationship, or goal in life. Sometimes being hard on yourself or unsettled with your circumstance is a silver lining, something that's going to activate emotional energy that drives you to put in the work and stick out the uncomfortable or hard parts. As a person, you have a right to make time to improve yourself, your physical strength, your performance in your swimming... Of course, sometimes being hard on yourself is counteractive, and makes you so hyperaware of yourself that its hard to improve, because you've lost appreciation that improvement could happen beyond where you can perceive it. For most of us, swimming is a balancing act. EDIT: In response to your last post, OP, hell yes, he will definitely improve in the next months and years if this is what he still desires and acts on. Swimming is one of the least elitist, least discriminating sports I've encountered, personally. Anyone of any background can jump in the water and improve to personal achievements. You can still track for international competition in swimming later on if you know your stuff, and it's a lifelong sport. That's the message most of Masters is here to communicate - that it's not too late to enjoy or participate in swimming! :cheerleader: - There are plenty of cool stories out there of swimmers with open minds and devotion who turned the tables on convention and accomplished swimming later in life. One of my favorites is Lynne Cox, who swam 20+ miles in open ocean in her early teens, and continued on to marathon swims in Antarctica and Alaska in her adulthood, unbelievably. If you search USMS archives, you occasionally find handfuls of 20-40 somethings qualifying for Olympic Trials. You'll get as far as your hard work takes you.

His technique is actually pretty good. He has been swimming since 6, just very casually taking lessons once a week. But he joined the team only this past September. Never wanted to take the swimming further, and then suddenly he did. He also takes technique/stroke development lessons fairly regularly. He HAS improved since September, cut 2-7 seconds off most events. But at 13, he is still the slowest in every event and that is what he is upset about. I guess what I am asking is this - if he continues swimming, putting in the time and the effort, like he does now - WILL he improve? I am not that familiar with swimming, my older daughter is in gymnastics and it is unimaginable to start gymnastics at 13 and still have any kind of future ahead of you. Is swimming the same? Or is it a sport where everyone who is hard working and willing to do the work and be patient can get reasonable results (when I say reasonable I mean middle of the pack, not last in every event like he is now). Is it reasonable to tell him to expect to get better at 14, 15? He is wiling to be patient, he just needs to know it IS going to happen eventually. Males in swimming don't hit their prime until College. Michael Phelps was an exception going to the Olympics at 15 years old. Girls like those in gymnastics usually have to start earlier since they sometimes peak in high school age. Male swimmers can start later than female swimmers. In high school he has a good chance if he is not swimming in California since most states high school swimmers mainly swim only during the school year or don't play water polo which can help your freestyle skills.

His technique is actually pretty good. He has been swimming since 6, just very casually taking lessons once a week. But he joined the team only this past September. Never wanted to take the swimming further, and then suddenly he did. He also takes technique/stroke development lessons fairly regularly. He HAS improved since September, cut 2-7 seconds off most events. But at 13, he is still the slowest in every event and that is what he is upset about. I guess what I am asking is this - if he continues swimming, putting in the time and the effort, like he does now - WILL he improve? I am not that familiar with swimming, my older daughter is in gymnastics and it is unimaginable to start gymnastics at 13 and still have any kind of future ahead of you. Is swimming the same? Or is it a sport where everyone who is hard working and willing to do the work and be patient can get reasonable results (when I say reasonable I mean middle of the pack, not last in every event like he is now). Is it reasonable to tell him to expect to get better at 14, 15? He is wiling to be patient, he just needs to know it IS going to happen eventually.

He HAS improved since September, cut 2-7 seconds off most events. But at 13, he is still the slowest in every event and that is what he is upset about. I am not that familiar with swimming, my older daughter is in gymnastics and it is unimaginable to start gymnastics at 13 and still have any kind of future ahead of you. 2-7 seconds in 7 months is HUGE. I'm a bit miffed that there is an expectation (yours, his, or both) that he'll be able to just be right there in a few months when other kids have been doing it for years. If he is truly driven, this will be good for him, as he'll have to out in the work, which will help him throughout life. That said, the 13 year old kids on our team are in the water over 17 hours per week (when school work allows). 2 hrs M-F AM, 1.5 M, W, F PM, and 2.75 Sat AM. Maybe he needs more practice. Can he start late? Ed Moses is an Olympic gold medalist who took up the sport at 17.......

Let me quote Alex Zanardi*. "I don't get on my bicycle because I love to win, I win because I love to get on my bicycle." Your son needs to swim because he loves to swim. If he does, improvement will come. If he swims because it happens to be a vehicle for some indirect joy (racing, fitness, etc), then he likely won't move up in the ranks. There is a saying......."the will to win is not nearly as important as the will to prepare to win." If he doesn't swim because he just enjoys it, then he won't have the drive when he needs it - in practice. *Alex Zanardi was an IndyCar champion, then lost his legs in an accident, then took up biking as a sport for amputees. He is a para-olympic gold medalist in that sport.

I loved my swimmer identity and loved the version of myself willing to put in hard work even for minimal results. Swimming was worth my time, $, energy, and emotions, and if being a slow swimmer was what it took to be a swimmer, that's what I had to take. Thank you for this. Definitely on to something here. I see that he is proud of the work he is doing and it is giving him a lot. Its a bit hard for a 13 year old to grasp that this right there is enough but this kind of thinking is definitely something I would love to see him "get".