How do you know the difference if you are “Steering” your child to swim vs “Forcing” them to Swim? Daughter has been swimming since 3 and is now 9 (almost 10). She’s had some great moments like winning a Summer League All Star butterfly race when she was 8. But after that, we gave her the choice to do winter league and she didn’t want to (previously she said she had). She still had pretty good summer (before getting sick) and was still on B team for the relays, but it wasn’t the same at age 8. At the end of this summer, she admitted that she should have done some of the swim clinics before the start of the season.
But, now she goes back and forth. One time we will be swimming at the pool, and she asks if I think she’ll be in Lane 3 (fast lane). Then recently she said that she didn’t want to be competitive and only “liked” swimming.
In Jan – Feb 2018, I do have her signed up for some swim clinics. So 1x a week for 6 weeks. But, should we do more swimming after? A part of me thinks she needs some private lessons as her technique has eroded due to not being in classes/team. But, should I do that if it doesn’t matter to her?!? I mean she can swim.
I've seen her flip-flop about wanting to swim and not quite sure if she gets the effort. For example, she set a new PB in Fly this summer and was disappointed she didn’t get a ribbon – she was against 10 year olds that were fast. Well, geez, should have done the stroke clinics before the season like I said. I don’t think she’s fully grasped that the “separation is in the preparation” (to quote Russell Wilson).
I’m trying not to be a crazy parent. I want her to get the health benefit from swimming. She loves ballet and performing – I see her on the stage. But, she is going to need the exercise from swimming to keep in shape.
I feel like it was easier when she was younger and we would just take her to class 1x a week to learn to swim.
Any Advice? I’ve thought about asking her if she has goals for next summer. At times, I think we just sign her up for some lessons/stroke clinic (from March – May) where she should just swim 1 – 2 times per week (would that be “forcing”). Or do I wait and see how she responds to the Stroke Clinics, that I signed her up for in Jan- Feb?
Thoughts?
DanceDaddy
#tryingnottobecrazy
DanceDaddy,
I thought about posting a while back and decided not to, but your comment "she really needs to think about what she wants to accomplish with swimming" has changed my mind. When I coached that age group, the kids ranged from Top 2 in the country to slower than "C" times. They just wanted to have fun in practice and be with their friends. My whole goal was to have them enjoy it. if they did well, that was icing on the cake. if they were not fast and still enjoyed it, the chances of their kids swimming went up 100% and maybe that kid was the future champion.
IMHO, respectfully, you are looking at this through adult eyes and brain. Your intentions are admirable, but your daughter is 10 and has no clue (nor should she) about what you are talking about. Forcing her to "figure out what she wants" will lead to her doing something because it makes you happy. Chances are she is not real sure what she wants to do in a couple of hours.
Short story. I swam once a week until I was 12 because practice was in the evening and 4 miles away and the coach was volunteer. Instead I played outside, water skied in the summer, snow skied in the winter, wrestled, tumbling (loved it), football, basketball (terrible at), bicycled, dance class (hated it too). We did alot of unorganized physical activity. Doing all these different sports made me a better athlete, so that when I did focus on swimming, alot of good skills were in place. I did well in the sport.
The point of the story is that that kids at 10 have no clue what they will be really good at. They have to try lots of things instead of focusing on a single sport at such a young age. AND, puberty has a way of changing things in a very big way - especially for girls. One of my best 10 yr old female swimmers eventually became an NCAA D-III golf champion. One 10 yr old boy (a gifted swimmer) turned to snowboarding before coming back as a diver. He went on to be a 4x NY State Champion, All-American, and full ride in Diving at a D-I school.
The more physical skills your daughter has, the better she will be at everything she does. She has plenty of time to decide what to focus on. And, you know what, she might decide she likes doing something different every three months when she gets to middle and high school. If she does, I think you have an ace of a daughter.
All the best,
Paul
DanceDaddy,
I thought about posting a while back and decided not to, but your comment "she really needs to think about what she wants to accomplish with swimming" has changed my mind. When I coached that age group, the kids ranged from Top 2 in the country to slower than "C" times. They just wanted to have fun in practice and be with their friends. My whole goal was to have them enjoy it. if they did well, that was icing on the cake. if they were not fast and still enjoyed it, the chances of their kids swimming went up 100% and maybe that kid was the future champion.
IMHO, respectfully, you are looking at this through adult eyes and brain. Your intentions are admirable, but your daughter is 10 and has no clue (nor should she) about what you are talking about. Forcing her to "figure out what she wants" will lead to her doing something because it makes you happy. Chances are she is not real sure what she wants to do in a couple of hours.
Short story. I swam once a week until I was 12 because practice was in the evening and 4 miles away and the coach was volunteer. Instead I played outside, water skied in the summer, snow skied in the winter, wrestled, tumbling (loved it), football, basketball (terrible at), bicycled, dance class (hated it too). We did alot of unorganized physical activity. Doing all these different sports made me a better athlete, so that when I did focus on swimming, alot of good skills were in place. I did well in the sport.
The point of the story is that that kids at 10 have no clue what they will be really good at. They have to try lots of things instead of focusing on a single sport at such a young age. AND, puberty has a way of changing things in a very big way - especially for girls. One of my best 10 yr old female swimmers eventually became an NCAA D-III golf champion. One 10 yr old boy (a gifted swimmer) turned to snowboarding before coming back as a diver. He went on to be a 4x NY State Champion, All-American, and full ride in Diving at a D-I school.
The more physical skills your daughter has, the better she will be at everything she does. She has plenty of time to decide what to focus on. And, you know what, she might decide she likes doing something different every three months when she gets to middle and high school. If she does, I think you have an ace of a daughter.
All the best,
Paul
