Over the years I've grown gradually less and less enthusiastic about swimming. It's gotten to the point that I dread every swim practice. I just find swimming so stressful, hard, painful, and discouraging. I used to be pretty decent at swimming, but have only plateaued. I don't think this is the only reason why I dislike swimming so much though. It's more of the physical pain that each practice causes. I don't even want to try that hard anymore. When I see the main set, I feel a cold, immobilizing slab of ice just slide down my insides and am utterly numbed.
People always tell me that swimming's for you. That you need to try, and what you put in is what you get out. These supposedly encouraging statements are all founded on the assumption that I have some desire to excel at swimming. True, I do like succeeding, but I just don't want to have to undergo the physical torture to reach it. Further, I hear a lot about the satisfaction you get after practices, and how your self-confidence increases when you finish a hard set. It takes all the self-discipline I have to avoid scoffing out loud at these. Very rarely do I receive that sort of "satisfaction". More often, I just feel a profound sense of relief that I finished the practice, only to be replaced by dread that I have 24 hours until the next session, and then the cycle restarts itself. As for the "get out what you put in" statement, I find it perfectly ridiculous. I feel no incentive to put myself through practice to succeed. A few years ago, before I started hating swimming, I busted my gut at every practice. The result? The same or worse times. I watched as kids who cheated in practice and never dropped continuously. Even if hard work actually leads to better times, I still wouldn't want to swim. I just don't feel like anything I could get out ofswimming is enough to assuage my growing dislike of swimming.
Nothing has really helped stem my lessening interest in swimming. I switched teams, and that helped for a while, but then I sank back down to even lower depths of dread. Despite all this, I still want to learn to love swimming again. After all, I have toswim to keep fit (and my parents are adamant that I continue it), and I might as well like it if I have to do it.
How do I overcome this?
Ditto everything Rob Copeland said.
While you are working up your nerve to have this conversation, I have three suggestions:
1) Take a hint from those "slacker" teammates who don't work so hard and drop time: don't work so hard. Warm up and cool down are not races. When the coach says "EZ", make it your mission to come in last. Technique sets are also NOT races.
2) Eat. Make sure you are eating enough before and after practices and throughout the day. Not eating enough to properly fuel your workouts and your recovery will lead to poor moods, constant fatigue and stale times.
3) Sleep. You need a crazy ridiculous amount every day, not just on weekend sleep-ins til noon. This will also help mood and performance. Teenage athletes need almost as much sleep as kindergarteners. We're talking 9-10 hours every day. You might need a nap to make this happen.
Nothing has really helped stem my lessening interest in swimming. I switched teams, and that helped for a while, but then I sank back down to even lower depths of dread. Despite all this, I still want to learn to love swimming again. After all, I have to swim to keep fit (and my parents are adamant that I continue it), and I might as well like it if I have to do it.
How do I overcome this?
Its very difficult to provide advice without knowing a lot more about you and your circumstances. I don't think you should listen to anyone who tells you to stop swimming or not - you need to make that decision for yourself. My thoughts on how to go about that follow.
You might want to approach your parents about allowing you to see a sports psychologist for a period of time. It can be very depressing to work hard (see others around you not working as hard), have high expectations, and have one's performance plateau. A good sports psychologist may be able to help you learn to love swimming again and overcome the dread. You seem to have invested a lot of time and energy into the sport already and this could turn out to be a very productive additional investment that would help you find that love again.
You may be overtraining. This can produce plateauing and depression, especially as you get more and more tired. Over training is a downward spiral that impacts many athletes in different sports at all ages. Remember too that your body makes adaptations to the stress from practicing only when you rest. If you don't rest and you're always tired from practice, no adaptation takes place and that can cause plateaus. You don't get faster while you are at practice - it happens when you rest. Additionally, I agree with you - the hard work you put in is only one aspect of success. Your inherited physiology, coaching, and psychological condition (including the social aspects of team sports) are major factors too. Everything has to work together and that's not happening for you right now. You should evaluate these factors and may need to change one or more.
Great Expectations. You don't have to want to be the best swimmer in your lane, your club, your school, your county, your state, the USA or the world. You don't need to set records or finish first to be a very accomplished swimmer. Stay within yourself and don't worry about what anyone else does or thinks - a good sports psychologist can help with this. If your expectations are out of reach at this point in time, not reaching them will hurt. There are 10s of thousands of swimmers who aren't going to make it to Olympic trials, and are very happy.
Taking a break can be helpful, especially if you use that time productively at another sport or activity. Although swimming is a great sport for fitness, there are other activities to stay fit, including other water sports - try open water swimming, surfing, water polo, etc. You might decide quickly that you want to return to swimming at the same or at a reduced or higher level, or not. A short break of a few months isn't going to really set you back more than you will be able to make up fairly quickly. Even if you stop at this point you can easily pick it back up later on in life in a masters program.
I think everyone has periods when they dread practice and wonder why they are doing this. And when practices just seem to lead to the next practice and no where. For me, this tends to happen in the winter when its cold at 5AM and hardest to get up and head to the pool. Like you stated, I just dread it. So why do it (I don't have adamant parents)? I think I keep going because I've learned that things go up and down in life, and that although it's down now and may be there awhile, it's pretty likely it will come back up as life continues on.
"I still want to learn to love swimming again" - what was it that you loved about swimming when you started (make a list) and what do you think would allow you to love it again (make a list)? You're correct in that it will likely be a re-learning and will take some introspection and work on your part - no magic or overnight success.
You might want to sit down with one or more somewhat older swimmers (mid-20s+ and female) who stuck with it through HS and perhaps college and explore why they continued to swim and what they got from it. Your coach or parents might be able to put you in touch with someone local. Or, if there is a masters team at the pool where you swim, ask to see if the masters coach can suggest someone. A dialogue with someone who knows the sport and its ups and downs and is willing to share their experience could be really helpful. YOu just need to find the right person.
Good luck with your quest.
Based on this I assume you are a live at home teen, so my advice is somewhat different then advice for a 25-40 year old swimmer.
My suggestion is that if you now hate swimming, then stop swimming. You need to have a frank emotionless conversation with your parents and let them know how you feel and find another path to keep fit. Something along the line of “Mom and dad I’m really burned out with swimming and dread going to practice. But I realize that fitness and team sports are important to my development, so I would like to try ____ (tennis, volleyball, soccer, track…).” Maybe your parent’s determination is more about your involvement in healthy activities and less specifically about swimming. Give another sport a try or get involved in community activities.
“How do I overcome this?” Asking the question is a great first step. You usually don’t overcome this by just pushing harder. If you do stick with swimming then find aspects of swimming that you like and focus your goals around them. Figure out what’s important to you and work with your coach to set goals in that direction. If you like the people you swim with them work on deepening your friendship with them. If you like helping others see if there are opportunities to help coach a summer league team. If you don’t like racing the clock in competition then don’t set goals around improving your times and focus on cheering for and encouraging your teammates.
And if you do step away from swimming for some time, then maybe in a few months or years you may decide to try again. Then when you come back refreshed you may fall in love with swimming again.
Rob, kudos to you for the best post I have ever seen you write on the Forums since I joined in 2010. As my Georgia Masters teammate (and interview subject for our newsletter), this post is you at your best! :applaud:
Swimming, like life, is nothing but peaks and valleys. It's how we cope with those peaks and valleys that determines who we are. It sounds like you have a desperate need to find a way to make swimming fun again. When I start to get bored with swimming I look to my friends/teammates to pull me through. Talk to them, find out what they like about swimming, feed off of their fun and interject yours. If you always lead a lane, try something different. Maybe go last but work on perfect stroke or extended turns holding your streamlines. Do some fun sets (whatever those may be). Look for big exciting meets to set your goals and re-invigorate yourself. Take a day off here and there. Whatever you have to do to get thru the doldrums but do not quit. It's so hard to get started again and as you age it doesn't get any easier (and, yes, I know this as I have been swimming competitively for 40+ years but I did take 10 years off after college before I found Masters Swimming).
After all, I have toswim to keep fit (and my parents are adamant that I continue it), and I might as well like it if I have to do it.
Based on this I assume you are a live at home teen, so my advice is somewhat different then advice for a 25-40 year old swimmer.
My suggestion is that if you now hate swimming, then stop swimming. You need to have a frank emotionless conversation with your parents and let them know how you feel and find another path to keep fit. Something along the line of “Mom and dad I’m really burned out with swimming and dread going to practice. But I realize that fitness and team sports are important to my development, so I would like to try ____ (tennis, volleyball, soccer, track…).” Maybe your parent’s determination is more about your involvement in healthy activities and less specifically about swimming. Give another sport a try or get involved in community activities.
“How do I overcome this?” Asking the question is a great first step. You usually don’t overcome this by just pushing harder. If you do stick with swimming then find aspects of swimming that you like and focus your goals around them. Figure out what’s important to you and work with your coach to set goals in that direction. If you like the people you swim with them work on deepening your friendship with them. If you like helping others see if there are opportunities to help coach a summer league team. If you don’t like racing the clock in competition then don’t set goals around improving your times and focus on cheering for and encouraging your teammates.
And if you do step away from swimming for some time, then maybe in a few months or years you may decide to try again. Then when you come back refreshed you may fall in love with swimming again.
Get on your bike and ride. Go for a run, you may have to walk a bit at first, but it will feel liberating. Take an aerobic dance class, or Tai Chi. Try some tennis, volleyball, shoot some hoops, get into a gym and say you need a little help. Guys will fall all over themselves eager to help. etc., etc., etc. There are half a million things to do to keep fit.
Over the years I've grown gradually less and less enthusiastic about swimming. It's gotten to the point that I dread every swim practice. I just find swimming so stressful, hard, painful, and discouraging. I used to be pretty decent at swimming, but have only plateaued. I don't think this is the only reason why I dislike swimming so much though. It's more of the physical pain that each practice causes. I don't even want to try that hard anymore. When I see the main set, I feel a cold, immobilizing slab of ice just slide down my insides and am utterly numbed.
First of all, "immobilizing slab of ice sliding down my insides" is a nicely turned phrase. Very visceral! :-)
As for the rest...while not all parents will be the same, let me give you my perspective as a parent whose son quit year-round swimming. Here are the things I valued about it:
- healthy exercise to keep fit, with generally less chance of injury than many other sports
- socialization and team-building
- instills self-discipline
My wife and are were both swimmers so that's naturally what we gravitated toward. But our son replaced it with other sports that fulfilled those roles and that made him happier. So have that "frank, emotionless" conversation that Rob suggests and state your case.
Honestly, if their experience is anything like ours, your parents will be impressed at having a drama-free and productive conversation where you carefully lay out your reasoning about how one or more other activities will be just as beneficial as swimming, maybe more so. It may be that one conversation won't be enough, so be prepared for that. Or maybe propose a trial of, say, the summer doing another physical activity and see how that goes.
The interesting thing is that, after two years of not swimming, our son actually missed some aspects of it and started swimming again. Not full-time, but he swam for his high school and summer-league teams and enjoyed both. While being very successful at swimming (maybe any sport) generally requires year-round training, that doesn't mean it is the only option for you.
Good luck.
My suggestion is that if you now hate swimming, then stop swimming.
Amen. Life is too short to commit so much time to doing something you hate--especially if it's not paying the bills. :)
Agreed with the talk with the P's. Try this as a starter --- Sit them down and show then this thread with our replies. After seeing what us long time swimmers are suggesting, they might see your view as not giving up but, a different way to to do something that makes you feel better not worse. Let us know how it goes.
