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Swimming jokes

Former Member
Former Member
Hope everyone had a great 4th. My granddaughter went to Bolles swim camp yesterday and will be there until end of July. She and I have a ongoing "jokesters" text thread. When we hear a good joke we text it to each other. While she is at Bolles I would like to text her a joke every day. So, heard any good swimming jokes lately? (She is 17 and the joke is coming from her Nannah, so clean or just slightly off color please.) Thanks everyone Laineybug
  • A child is in the process of drowning. "Help! I need a lifesaver! I'm gonna drown!" hollered the child. The blonde lifeguard came up to the child and asked, "Sure, what flavor?"
  • Two swimmers are far from shore when they see a shark's fin. One guy starts adjusting his goggles. His friend says "What are you doing. You'll never swim faster than a shark." He replies "I don't have to swim faster than the shark. I just have to swim faster than you!"
  • Did you hear about the slow swimmer? He could only do the crawl.
  • Former Member
    Former Member
    Why did the blonde swim backstroke? She just ate lunch and didn't want to swim on a full stomach Thank you for the jokes. ANY MORE?
  • Former Member
    Former Member
    How do swimmers clean themselves? They wash up on shore.
  • did you hear about the sprinter that did an entire workout? no, me either! omg i kill myself!!!
  • Why did the vegetarians stop swimming? They didn't like meets!
  • Why don't traffic lights ever go swimming? Because they take too long to change!
  • BBC commentators: "The British swimming team train together in Bath". Now I'm no swimming expert, but if they trained in a swimming pool like everyone else, they might win a medal.
  • Little boy to mother: Mummy, can I go swimming? Mother: Certainly not. The sea’s too rough, there’s a terrible rip-tide and a dangerous offshore current, and I’ve heard this coast is infested with jellyfish and sharks. Little boy: But Daddy’s gone swimming! Mother: I know, but he has excellent life insurance.
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