My kid is a terrific swimmer - to a degree. He has Jr.Nat's cuts & has even placed quite high at things like JO's & Sr.Champs. However, he does best when he comes in 9th. He can swim super fast in Prelims, but if he comes into finals higher than 9th, he seldom (if ever) improves upon his morning time. If he is 9th or worse, he will always improve & so may have two best times in one day. I have to say, I think he likes being the big fish in the small pond - if he seriously outclasses everyone, he often will do a best time then, as well. I think he has a psychological block or something about performing well in finals & other high pressure situations, but I don't know how to help him get past it. Also, I don't want to screw him up by saying something stupid! He has one more big meet this year, and then he is going into semi-retirement for 2 years, so I'd love to see him perform at his best. Can anyone help me/him?
...I definitely whooped it up when he got his first Jr.Nat's cut though!!
...
Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with cheering for your kid.
If there is a problem with cheering for your kid, someone please stop the world so I can get off. For that matter, I have a video of me swimming in a race and in the background I can hear my kid cheering for me. I do not have a problem with that either.
I also don't think there's anything wrong with taking splits, giving your child pre-race advice or whatever the parent/child combo feels happy with.
I know that there is a lot of advise out there that says that the coach should do these things. I don't know what kind of perfect world other people live in but in my experience, no coach ever took my splits and talked about them with me. No coach ever took my kids splits and talked with my kid about them. We are talking about a total of 4 teams and 10 or more coaches here so this is not an isolated case. I can hear the advise already, "join a better team." Yea right. I'm sure that the vast majority of swimmers have a realistic choice of one or possibly two teams. Once you consider practice times, your kid's schedule, your schedule, price, driving distance, where your kids friends are, etc., you are very very lucky to have any choice at all. To swim better in races you have to know your splits and work to improve them. Obviously the swimmer can't take his/her own splits so if the coach isn't doing it who is gonna do it? It seems to me that a fast way to become hated by the coach is to ask the coach to take your kid's splits.
I don't believe in much pre-race advise though. My usual pre-race advise is, "Have fun!" I don't believe pre-race advise from the coach is much use either. I think that one of swimming's dirty little secrets is that the outcome of a race is largely already decided when the swimmers step up on the blocks. The time for advise is before practice, over many practices leading up to the race. Once that horn blares, there isn't much time to think, well maybe in the 1650 if your brain isn't overloaded from dealing with the pain.
BUT, as you pointed out, some people seem to be living vicariously through their children,...
Now that's another story. If you want to win swim races, you gotta do the training and racing yourself. Don't get me wrong, I love to watch my kid race, and I love to watch my kid win, but I'm not going to have my self image tied up in whether my kid wins swim races of not.
...I personally just believe in a lot of positive reinforcement & I ask him things like "How did that feel? Are you happy with that swim? Were you as fast as you expected to be at this meet?" Or sometimes - "what happened on your 'start/turn/whatever' I noticed that. . ."
How much to push, whether it is swimming, schoolwork, or whatever has to be a question every parent struggles with from the day their child is born until they (the parent) dies.
Appreciate everyone's comments, BTW. And I think he want to be the big fish in the moderately large pond, not the small pond, if you know what I mean! :)
Being among the best can be very motivating. I think this influences choice of team. Outclassing one's entire team isn't the best scenario for maximizing potential, but being outclassed by one's team isn't either. If the team is so good that the swimmer never gets to be on a relay, never has a chance to score points, never gets enough rest between intervals, etc. that's recepie for burnout.
...I definitely whooped it up when he got his first Jr.Nat's cut though!!
...
Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with cheering for your kid.
If there is a problem with cheering for your kid, someone please stop the world so I can get off. For that matter, I have a video of me swimming in a race and in the background I can hear my kid cheering for me. I do not have a problem with that either.
I also don't think there's anything wrong with taking splits, giving your child pre-race advice or whatever the parent/child combo feels happy with.
I know that there is a lot of advise out there that says that the coach should do these things. I don't know what kind of perfect world other people live in but in my experience, no coach ever took my splits and talked about them with me. No coach ever took my kids splits and talked with my kid about them. We are talking about a total of 4 teams and 10 or more coaches here so this is not an isolated case. I can hear the advise already, "join a better team." Yea right. I'm sure that the vast majority of swimmers have a realistic choice of one or possibly two teams. Once you consider practice times, your kid's schedule, your schedule, price, driving distance, where your kids friends are, etc., you are very very lucky to have any choice at all. To swim better in races you have to know your splits and work to improve them. Obviously the swimmer can't take his/her own splits so if the coach isn't doing it who is gonna do it? It seems to me that a fast way to become hated by the coach is to ask the coach to take your kid's splits.
I don't believe in much pre-race advise though. My usual pre-race advise is, "Have fun!" I don't believe pre-race advise from the coach is much use either. I think that one of swimming's dirty little secrets is that the outcome of a race is largely already decided when the swimmers step up on the blocks. The time for advise is before practice, over many practices leading up to the race. Once that horn blares, there isn't much time to think, well maybe in the 1650 if your brain isn't overloaded from dealing with the pain.
BUT, as you pointed out, some people seem to be living vicariously through their children,...
Now that's another story. If you want to win swim races, you gotta do the training and racing yourself. Don't get me wrong, I love to watch my kid race, and I love to watch my kid win, but I'm not going to have my self image tied up in whether my kid wins swim races of not.
...I personally just believe in a lot of positive reinforcement & I ask him things like "How did that feel? Are you happy with that swim? Were you as fast as you expected to be at this meet?" Or sometimes - "what happened on your 'start/turn/whatever' I noticed that. . ."
How much to push, whether it is swimming, schoolwork, or whatever has to be a question every parent struggles with from the day their child is born until they (the parent) dies.
Appreciate everyone's comments, BTW. And I think he want to be the big fish in the moderately large pond, not the small pond, if you know what I mean! :)
Being among the best can be very motivating. I think this influences choice of team. Outclassing one's entire team isn't the best scenario for maximizing potential, but being outclassed by one's team isn't either. If the team is so good that the swimmer never gets to be on a relay, never has a chance to score points, never gets enough rest between intervals, etc. that's recepie for burnout.
