My kid is a terrific swimmer - to a degree. He has Jr.Nat's cuts & has even placed quite high at things like JO's & Sr.Champs. However, he does best when he comes in 9th. He can swim super fast in Prelims, but if he comes into finals higher than 9th, he seldom (if ever) improves upon his morning time. If he is 9th or worse, he will always improve & so may have two best times in one day. I have to say, I think he likes being the big fish in the small pond - if he seriously outclasses everyone, he often will do a best time then, as well. I think he has a psychological block or something about performing well in finals & other high pressure situations, but I don't know how to help him get past it. Also, I don't want to screw him up by saying something stupid! He has one more big meet this year, and then he is going into semi-retirement for 2 years, so I'd love to see him perform at his best. Can anyone help me/him?
Ouch that hurts… I said that I was the split taking critiquing person, but I didn’t think I was horrid… I just thought I was an involved parent.
And now you have me questioning my cheering at meets. .
Rob! I do take splits too - but only if he asks me, or if I notice that there are so many of our team in the pool that there is a possibility that the coach won't get all the splits (happens!) - but I definitely do not try to coach. I used to cheer like a maniac when he was a 10 & U, but I noticed that the parents of older kids were more sedate. And frankly the other parents do not appreciate me screaming my head off when my kid is way ahead of theirs. They don't hear us anyway! Somehow I have shifted to someone who "watches intently" instead of a loud cheering squad. I definitely whooped it up when he got his first Jr.Nat's cut though!!
Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with cheering for your kid. I also don't think there's anything wrong with taking splits, giving your child pre-race advice or whatever the parent/child combo feels happy with. It's whatever floats your boat & helps your swimmer perform at their best. BUT, as you pointed out, some people seem to be living vicariously through their children, and even scold (read: chew out) their kids when they don't perform to the parents expectations. I don't think that's the way to go, but who am I to say? Maybe that particular kid does better when he's scolded. I personally just believe in a lot of positive reinforcement & I ask him things like "How did that feel? Are you happy with that swim? Were you as fast as you expected to be at this meet?" Or sometimes - "what happened on your 'start/turn/whatever' I noticed that. . ."
Appreciate everyone's comments, BTW. And I think he want to be the big fish in the moderately large pond, not the small pond, if you know what I mean! :)
Ouch that hurts… I said that I was the split taking critiquing person, but I didn’t think I was horrid… I just thought I was an involved parent.
And now you have me questioning my cheering at meets. .
Rob! I do take splits too - but only if he asks me, or if I notice that there are so many of our team in the pool that there is a possibility that the coach won't get all the splits (happens!) - but I definitely do not try to coach. I used to cheer like a maniac when he was a 10 & U, but I noticed that the parents of older kids were more sedate. And frankly the other parents do not appreciate me screaming my head off when my kid is way ahead of theirs. They don't hear us anyway! Somehow I have shifted to someone who "watches intently" instead of a loud cheering squad. I definitely whooped it up when he got his first Jr.Nat's cut though!!
Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with cheering for your kid. I also don't think there's anything wrong with taking splits, giving your child pre-race advice or whatever the parent/child combo feels happy with. It's whatever floats your boat & helps your swimmer perform at their best. BUT, as you pointed out, some people seem to be living vicariously through their children, and even scold (read: chew out) their kids when they don't perform to the parents expectations. I don't think that's the way to go, but who am I to say? Maybe that particular kid does better when he's scolded. I personally just believe in a lot of positive reinforcement & I ask him things like "How did that feel? Are you happy with that swim? Were you as fast as you expected to be at this meet?" Or sometimes - "what happened on your 'start/turn/whatever' I noticed that. . ."
Appreciate everyone's comments, BTW. And I think he want to be the big fish in the moderately large pond, not the small pond, if you know what I mean! :)
