I'm thinking the level of anxiety I have leading up to meets, especially championships, is telling me competition is not worth it for me. I wish I could see myself improving through a season so that I can be excited to find out how fast I'm going to race at the end of it. Unfortunately, I'm at that age where I'm only getting slower, and I don't have the technical background to draw upon that some others do. I always feel relieved just after a big meet, but in the months and weeks leading up to one, I have anxiety even going to the practice pool. I dread the fact that I'm facing work, not leisure. That almost guarantees a bad practice. 'Sounds crazy doesn't it? Is it time for me to quit competing? In re-reading my first sentence I'm considering, maybe I need a therapist to help me learn what small reward keeps me going back to something so stressful, or to figure out how to give myself permission to quit. I saw a video on USA swimming in which they mention, Ryan Murphy used to puke before big events. That was a little validating. So how do you forumites manage your anxiety? Or if you don't have any, how did you achieve that serenity?
When I first came back to Masters swimming and went to my first Nationals in 2001, I went in with no expectations and just looking to have fun. I loved it. I got a little edgy behind the blocks, but nothing too distracting.
At my second Nationals in 2002, though, I went into the meet with GOALS for each race. I totally let my anxious monkey mind get the better of me in the very first race ... and then did even worse in the second race with my performance completely a function of my mind.
This is my problem exactly. For me, goals = anxiety. Goals lead to self-induced pressure and therefore anxiety. It may also be that my goals are unrealistic. The better I do in a meet, the higher I set the bar for the next one. Or, I think, ugh! I now have to train that hard again next season just to hold that time? So, more pressure!
I also find that racing in a reasonably matched heat helps because my focus shifts away from everything in my head to the simplicity of the racing. Sometimes that still leads to panic when I find I am trailing, but it only lasts as slow as I swim.
When I first came back to Masters swimming and went to my first Nationals in 2001, I went in with no expectations and just looking to have fun. I loved it. I got a little edgy behind the blocks, but nothing too distracting.
At my second Nationals in 2002, though, I went into the meet with GOALS for each race. I totally let my anxious monkey mind get the better of me in the very first race ... and then did even worse in the second race with my performance completely a function of my mind.
This is my problem exactly. For me, goals = anxiety. Goals lead to self-induced pressure and therefore anxiety. It may also be that my goals are unrealistic. The better I do in a meet, the higher I set the bar for the next one. Or, I think, ugh! I now have to train that hard again next season just to hold that time? So, more pressure!
I also find that racing in a reasonably matched heat helps because my focus shifts away from everything in my head to the simplicity of the racing. Sometimes that still leads to panic when I find I am trailing, but it only lasts as slow as I swim.
