I'm thinking the level of anxiety I have leading up to meets, especially championships, is telling me competition is not worth it for me. I wish I could see myself improving through a season so that I can be excited to find out how fast I'm going to race at the end of it. Unfortunately, I'm at that age where I'm only getting slower, and I don't have the technical background to draw upon that some others do. I always feel relieved just after a big meet, but in the months and weeks leading up to one, I have anxiety even going to the practice pool. I dread the fact that I'm facing work, not leisure. That almost guarantees a bad practice. 'Sounds crazy doesn't it? Is it time for me to quit competing? In re-reading my first sentence I'm considering, maybe I need a therapist to help me learn what small reward keeps me going back to something so stressful, or to figure out how to give myself permission to quit. I saw a video on USA swimming in which they mention, Ryan Murphy used to puke before big events. That was a little validating. So how do you forumites manage your anxiety? Or if you don't have any, how did you achieve that serenity?
I have only done local meets, and I have tons of anxiety. It starts the minute I sign up for an event, which is why I tend to sign up a few minutes before the meet online cut-off. I get so much anxiety, I'm thinking about it at work, I'm thinking about it during practice, I'm thinking about it when I should be sleeping. So days before the event, I don't get much sleep, when its most probably the most important thing to do. My coach tries to get me to taper, but I freak out and feel the need to keep practicing. I get so nervous during the warmups that I drink too much water. On the blocks of my first event, my heart is pounding so hard and loud, I can't hear anything else. But once I hit the water, my anxiety suddenly disappears and is replaced by adrenaline.
I wonder the same thing, whether it is worth doing these meets when I am such a mess weeks before. But I keep going back for more. I tell myself that even olympians get anxiety, and to remind myself of that adrenaline and sense of accomplishment feeling. The meet is supposed to be fun, friends will be there. And man oh man, the relay! I'm definitely not racing to be in the olympics. There is no pressure. Why do I need to feel this way? This is my "do something outside my comfort zone" of the year. Just do it and have fun!
If I didn’t know better, I would have thought I wrote this myself. You described me perfectly even down to signing up at the last minute and then becoming a basket case until I hit the water. Yet I keep repeating that pattern. Surely we fit the description of the insane.
I have only done local meets, and I have tons of anxiety. It starts the minute I sign up for an event, which is why I tend to sign up a few minutes before the meet online cut-off. I get so much anxiety, I'm thinking about it at work, I'm thinking about it during practice, I'm thinking about it when I should be sleeping. So days before the event, I don't get much sleep, when its most probably the most important thing to do. My coach tries to get me to taper, but I freak out and feel the need to keep practicing. I get so nervous during the warmups that I drink too much water. On the blocks of my first event, my heart is pounding so hard and loud, I can't hear anything else. But once I hit the water, my anxiety suddenly disappears and is replaced by adrenaline.
I wonder the same thing, whether it is worth doing these meets when I am such a mess weeks before. But I keep going back for more. I tell myself that even olympians get anxiety, and to remind myself of that adrenaline and sense of accomplishment feeling. The meet is supposed to be fun, friends will be there. And man oh man, the relay! I'm definitely not racing to be in the olympics. There is no pressure. Why do I need to feel this way? This is my "do something outside my comfort zone" of the year. Just do it and have fun!
If I didn’t know better, I would have thought I wrote this myself. You described me perfectly even down to signing up at the last minute and then becoming a basket case until I hit the water. Yet I keep repeating that pattern. Surely we fit the description of the insane.
