Balancing Life, Work, and Swimming

In balance - sometimes it's and others it's down. enjoy the ups !

Katie- I am in the same boat as you. I hate making some choices. I am actually seeing a nutritionist right now because I was not eating enough, and yet my weight stays the same (well, actually, according to the nutritionist, I am starving myself- unintentionally). Where that was going is, I wish that someone would say, "Eat this," or better yet, make my food for me! Eating is such a pain! I also hate having to choose between my workouts. I know I need to do all three of the workouts I mentioned to swim my fastest, but I just need to change my mindset and tell myself a couple of things: I'm lucky to be able to workout (at all), and what I'm doing is good for my body. If I focus on what I can't do, then that sabotages all of the positive things I am doing. Reasonable perspective should have been on my list of how to live my life. :agree: Just keep making the choices you think are right for you. If you find out they are not right for you, change 'em.

A friend of mine gave me some advice awhile back in regards to balancing my life. No matter what you do give it 100%. If you are spending time with your family, focus on your family. If you are at work, focus on work. We will never find time to fit everything in. Therefore, try and make the most of the time allowed for each activity.

Here's another way to look at it: I was a single mom w/ 3 kids. We divorced when the kids were 3/6/and 7. Back then I was a runner; running is alot easier to fit in than swimming. Anyway my runs were extremely important to my mental health!!! I did whatever I had to do to fit them in. (usually arrange a babysitter some time in the evening) I usually ran 6X per week, including a long one on Sunday. Between kids activities, teaching school, and fitting my obsession into my life I was crazy busy but normally a happy person! Wow, the time flew by soooo very fast. Now the kids are 18/21/22 and almost totally independant and living away from home. I could workout every night from 5 till 10 p.m. or in the morning from 4:45 a.m.-6:30 if I had the energy. The time frame in which your family needs you so intensely is really short lived and precious. Some nights I wish I had someone at home that needed me to take care of them. Don't get me wrong I do like some of this newly found independance but every now and then I find something around the house that reminds me of my crazy-busy work-out days and I long to have them back. Wherever you are in your life enjoy it and live in the moment because in the blink of an eye the dynamics will change!

Karen you really hit the nail on the head. It is so hard to figure out what works for each person individually. It's like with food, just someone tell me what to eat that will be the best for me and I'll eat it. I don't do so well when I have a million choices to make. I appreciate your insight, and everyone else's, on how to balance things and what you do to make it work. I also enjoy going to the gym, running with friends and coworkers (it is a little more of a social sport than swimming). I want to try to get into healthy habits now so that I do not hopefully have to face some of the same health problems I see at my job each day. The way that my schedule is now, most days I have to swim on my own at 5am so that I can get an hour workout in to get to work on time. This is not desirable as I really miss being a part of a team. There are a few days when I can make it to a 6am group workout, but that is not consistent. After work is out of the question for me, as I am too physically exhausted to face the pool. I can get in a quick jog with some coworkers after work if I haven't exercised yet for that day, but it is not the same as swimming. I am sure that most of you would agree that you feel your best after a workout in the pool. Part of the reason that I brought this thread up was to try to see how others do it. I want to get things sort of figured out now, so that when my husband and I do have children we will be able to figure it out then a little easier (or so I hope!). Everyone has been so helpful in their advice. This is SO HARD. And, sorry to say, it doesn't get easier until kids (when you have them) are grown and you have more time. The two keys to success for me are maximum flexibility over when I work out and discipline to work out. The latter is easier if you love to train or work out, which I do. I have experienced many of the same struggles and issues as Karen as a mother of three. Since I've been a grown up, it's kinda gone like this: 1. Working full time at corporate law firm with no kids and hideous hours: runs after work or hit the gym late or run on my lunch hour. always work out on saturday and Sunday. I also walked back and forth to work, which was 3 miles. 2. Kids come along: Switched from full time to part time (66%) and became an Of Counsel instead of partner. I tried to do what Kirk suggested above and left work on my part time schedule no matter what. Sometimes this pissed people off but I cared more about my kids then them. I would run during lunch, I often went to the gym at 8:30 pm when I tucked my kids in and I would try to work out on the weekends. I didn't swim then, which is much more time consuming, I know. I didn't love working out at night, but I did it anyway and felt better. You may have no choice but to do that if you want to stay fit. I also had times when I worked a ton (including 10:00 pm-2:00am) and didn't work out and vice versa. 3. After kid #3, I quit the corporate law firm. I worked very part time as an independent contractor. I would sometimes often take my kid the gym/pool. I would sometimes hire a babysitter. And I would always work out on the weekends. Now, I am fortunate that all my kids are in school full time, so I try to work or do errands in the am and work out in the early afternoon. But I still have to maintain maximum flexibility. My kid work shift is now 2:30-9:30 or later, plus mornings. My husband has the early morning exercise slot and travels frequently, so I take other slots and often schedule them around all my children's practices. I've found that I can do yoga or drylands or stretching at home as well. I guess time with hubby takes the biggest hit for me. But he is an athlete too, so understands. I also agree with Karen that it is key to get away every once in awhile to a swim meet. You have to take care of yourself. Also, mommy guilt -- which has been utterly wrenching for me in the past -- does abate over time.

Speaking as a fellow perfectionist, I think you may be setting your standard for "balance" too high. If you are serious about a profession that you enjoy and in which you have pride, and especially if you are self-employed, sometimes your professional obligations are going to rule for days, weeks, or months at a time. If you are serious about good relationships with other people, those people are going to need you more some times than other times. And if you are serious about personal pursuits that require "me" time, those too will ebb and flow. Part of achieving a healthy balance is accepting that the balance is going to shift from time to time, and is rarely going to stay perfect for long stretches. You're going to have some metaphorical wobble. Not to say that the ideas you've solicited and received here are not valuable, but if you're going through periods with a few months' intense focus on one aspect of life and then a few months on another and a few months on another, you're probably achieving pretty good overall balance.

Speaking as a fellow perfectionist, I think you may be setting your standard for "balance" too high. If you are serious about a profession that you enjoy and in which you have pride, and especially if you are self-employed, sometimes your professional obligations are going to rule for days, weeks, or months at a time. If you are serious about good relationships with other people, those people are going to need you more some times than other times. And if you are serious about personal pursuits that require "me" time, those too will ebb and flow. Part of achieving a healthy balance is accepting that the balance is going to shift from time to time, and is rarely going to stay perfect for long stretches. You're going to have some metaphorical wobble. Not to say that the ideas you've solicited and received here are not valuable, but if you're going through periods with a few months' intense focus on one aspect of life and then a few months on another and a few months on another, you're probably achieving pretty good overall balance. well said!

sell the kids. eat your pets. quit your job. buy a VW bus to live in and swim whenever you like.That's the retirement plan I've been trying to convince my wife of!

... I think you may be setting your standard for "balance" too high... A serious comment now (not like my last one): a wise person once told me that at any one time you can get 2 out of 3 things "right" in your life: work, family/friends and personal pursuits. Which 2 things will ebb and flow based upon demands and your interests, but just aim to do 2 "on target." It's rare for me to get them all. I try hard to make family always one of those things "on target," but don't always make that happen ... sometimes I have to reprioritize work to the top of the list. For me, balance is not about getting the same proportions right every single day, but getting them mostly right over a longer time period.

I think EVERYONE pretty much struggles with this balancing act ... Just remember that its how you come out the other side and when you reach a goal it makes it that much sweeter! I went to a meet recently where they were having trouble handing out the ribbons. It was some kind of administrative or data handling snafu that made it hard to find which swimmer went with which ribbon. Someone asked me, "Do you really want your ribbons?" Immediately my mind went back to age group swimming, where there were trophies by the dozen, medals by the hundreds, and ribbons flew like confetti in the streets of New York on New Year's Eve. Did I want my ribbons? Did I care about a couple of 25 cent ribbons? It's not the same anymore, is it? To win those ribbons I had hauled my sorry ass to the pool every day for a year, lost an unmentionable amount of weight, planned several months in advance to free up enough time to go to the meet, then hauled my sorry ass three hours down the road, stayed overnight in the Bedbug Discount Inn, paid $40 bucks to enter the meet, and swam whatever frakkin yards were in the event. You bet I want my ribbons! It ain't about the ribbons. It's about what it took just to get to the meet and swim the event. But I want them just the same!