Had a weird thing happen at practice today. I was finishing my swim with a set of 25yd butterfly to work on my stroke. I had the lane to myself, and for a time, both lanes to either side were empty. About midway through my set, an older woman got into the lane next to me and started swimming. Ordinarily I'd pay it no mind, but at one point when I was resting she turned to me and said "you know, it's really hard for me to swim backstroke when you're swimming like that, you're a real jerk!"
When she began her statement, I thought she was going to make some kind of joking comment. But as she finished it, I realized she was serious, and it kinda caught me off guard. Since the lane on the other side was open, I moved over a lane so as not to disturb her, and tried to apologize when she was at the end of the lane, but she just curtly replied "fine" and went on about her swim.
So my question is this, does swimming butterfly make me a jerk? I'm not going to stop swimming fly, but I'm just curious if anyone else has run afoul of other swimmers getting bent out of shape in this manner. To summarize, we both were in separate lanes (6ft wide), and she was swimming, not water walking. I wonder if Phelps runs into these problems :D
Former Member
Considering the way she spoke to you, I think you were very polite and courteous. Good on you, Funkyfish. It is really unnecessary to be that rude.
I do always feel a bit guilty, though, swimming fly while sharing a lane with others (non serious swimmers). I always feel like a bit of a lane hog. Usually, I wait until I am alone in the lane to swim fly. I wouldn't have thought it would have bothered the person in the lane next to me. That is a bit extreme I think.
It would be one thing to complain if you were swimming fly in her lane. Swimming fly next door? I don't think so.
I work out on my own and swim as much fly as I can manage. I work around other swimmers, and only swim fly when I'm sharing a lane when a) I warn the other swimmer, b) I leave the wall as they approach, SDKing past them, and/or c) I swim one-arm fly going by.
It's possible to swim the stroke and be considerate. No, you are not a jerk! (But I probably would have moved a lane over, too, just to skip the awkwardness.)
Your response was polite, but to be honest, I would have had to land a jab in return. Just something to the effect of "Well, that's why you have your lane and I have mine. I swim how I like, you swim how you like, the world continues to turn. Yay!"
The annoying thing is that more often than not these crotchety folks end up getting their way. Odds are next time you will try to swim farther from her or not do fly next to you even though you are perfectly within your rights to do so. I know I'd prefer to avoid confrontation even if I knew I was in the right.
I have observed that almost all the complaining trouble makers are "older women" belonging to the slow lane :cool:
I too have observed that "younger women" aren't considered trouble makers as often as older women.
In the situation here, as in just about any time you are confronted with a jerk, you have two choices. You can act like more of a jerk, or less of one. There's a time for each choice, but I think most people prefer to be the latter.
I've actually had a woman in the lane next to me request that I swim some fly because she loves to watch people swim the stroke.
I'll rarely do fly when sharing the lane with stranger, and on the rare occasion that I do, I'll always drop to single arm when passing them.
I tend to give people the benefit the doubt, especially if it is a one-time occurrence. Maybe the lady just lost her husband, or she is having money, health, or in-law problems. Who knows? She could just be crabby all the time but I think you handled it pretty well by taking the high road.
On the other hand, folks seem to be "spring loaded" to be offended by the least, little action that permeates their place in the center of the universe. Still I try to take the high road.
This past Sat. I was warming up for a tri and hit someone lightly in the head with my arm. I apologized. He replied, "good luck crashing into people". I almost replied, "good luck getting out of other people's way" but I didn't. This guy was wearing a rash guard shirt for the tri swim so I though he didn't need any words from me. Moving on. --mjm
The annoying thing is that more often than not these crotchety folks end up getting their way...I know I'd prefer to avoid confrontation even if I knew I was in the right.
Alas, a rule of life. In organizations, in one's daily course, obnoxious people tend to get their way. It's the aggressive version of the law of the "squeaky wheel." There seems to be no getting around it. The karmic penalty exacted later is a likelihood of such persons being left to their own emotional resources. Others will indeed get out of the way, but then they'll keep doing so, and the angry one will be avoided. People withhold in such situations, even when they don't know they're doing it.
Ultimately, despite the irritating aspect of such experiences, they point toward sadness.
I try be thankful when I summon the sense to be polite–especially when I feel like a total sucker. Otherwise I just absorb the other person's bile. Toxic. Icky. Life-shortening.
